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Old 07-08-2011, 10:02 PM
 
7 posts, read 8,314 times
Reputation: 10

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Anyone got any advice about this?


Let me tell you my story. Iím an undergraduate freshman who goes to a state university full time. My parents pay my full cost minus about 3.5k that I have in scholarships. My dad demands to see my grades. But when I show him my (non-flawless) transcript, which has A-Ďs, B+ís and yes, even some Bís, he just points out: hey you did this badly, you messed up in this class. Get an A in this. Well, That would be all fine and dandy, except for the fact that he always makes me feel like crap (has done this since I was quite young. e.g, He's pretty much told me that I would go nowhere in life in those exact words since I was 11 years old) every time he sees my report card. This most recent term, my grades werenít too hot. He just kind of looked at it in a ďI am disappointed that my son is an idiotĒ way. I have a 3.6 GPA in a science major, so again, Iím not getting perfect grades. I donít party or drink all day, but I also donít study all day. My major is also considered difficult. Iím not sure if I should even do college considering that the only reason I study is to keep my parents from yelling at me. Furthermore, he has decided that I am going to graduate school. I am not sure why. Graduate school is for people who go to school because they like to learn, not people who go to school to keep their parents happy.
Any idea what I should do? My dad is Indian which means he has a Ph.D but no sense. He also has anger management issues, so donít tell me to do anything that might get me beat up or my college funds taken away. Cause with my high EFC, I donít have many options for student loans. Except ones with predatory interest rates Iíd rather avoid.

Any idea what I should do? My dad is Indian which means he has a Ph.D but no sense. He also has anger management issues, so donít tell me to do anything that might get me beat up or my college funds taken away. Cause with my high EFC, I donít have many options for student loans. Except ones with predatory interest rates Iíd rather avoid.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:12 PM
 
Location: California
28,845 posts, read 29,425,781 times
Reputation: 23671
Oh just tune him out. It's a skill that will serve you well in life.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:15 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 9,587,830 times
Reputation: 8956
What do you think you should do?
What do you want to do?
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:17 PM
 
7 posts, read 8,314 times
Reputation: 10
I don't know what I should do.

I want to refuse to show him my grades.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Middle America
33,032 posts, read 34,725,224 times
Reputation: 42448
My college sent our grades to our home addresses. I contacted the appropriate personnel and personally requested that mine be sent to me at school, not to my parents' house. My dad thought he should get to see my grades, and I had no problem sharing them with him, but on my own terms...they weren't his property. Of course, I was paying for my own schooling/securing my own grants and scholarships. It's a lot easier to grab the reins when you're not beholden to somebody.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:26 PM
 
31 posts, read 40,514 times
Reputation: 95
Get a job and work your way through school. It is the only way you will be independent.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:47 PM
 
1,249 posts, read 1,716,400 times
Reputation: 1231
3.6 is really good even for first year grades...perhaps you might be able to show him evidence that you are doing well in your program, on track for success and graduation as an undergraduate, etc. and also vow to do better in upcoming semesters. Just take each class one at a time and aim for an A in each, and things will improve.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:48 PM
 
1,249 posts, read 1,716,400 times
Reputation: 1231
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
My college sent our grades to our home addresses. I contacted the appropriate personnel and personally requested that mine be sent to me at school, not to my parents' house. My dad thought he should get to see my grades, and I had no problem sharing them with him, but on my own terms...they weren't his property. Of course, I was paying for my own schooling/securing my own grants and scholarships. It's a lot easier to grab the reins when you're not beholden to somebody.
Did you recently go to school, because that does not sound legal to send grades out like that?
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Old 07-08-2011, 11:28 PM
 
Location: SWUS
5,414 posts, read 7,189,270 times
Reputation: 5758
My university sends grades out to home addresses as well.. must be pretty common, or at least, my uni is wierd. Whatever.
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Old 07-09-2011, 01:48 AM
hsw
 
2,144 posts, read 5,955,090 times
Reputation: 1497
Nearly impossible in life to have intellectual (or any other useful/enjoyable freedom) until one achieves economic freedom

Those unable to legitimately earn own money/net worth (in scale) are almost always slaves to parents or employers or welfare state/unions or customers or investors or own insecurities/guilt complexes of various forms....such is real world
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