If your children don't choose a college major you approve of, would you disown them? (bachelor's, Ivy League)
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In old days a college degree pretty guaranteed a job. Now you have to change that mind set....
Americans compete with the talented in the whole world.
If people in Europe and Asia encourage their children to study STEM, for example, it has an effect on the job market here in the US too. Just take a look how many engineers we import from India and China every year, in addition to out sourcing.
This thought has been bugging me lately. My children are still very young. But I want to be certain that when they go to college, they choose a STEM major, medicine, or whatever proves itself to be highly lucrative over the long haul. I am not motivated to pay for their college education if they don't do so.
Any thoughts on this?
Have you considered whether or not you will be disowned by your kids if you don't let them study what they want.
Honestly, forcing the issue never works. Try explaining to them why you think a STEM degree is better, back it up by facts. And at the same time, listen (not just hear) to why they don't want to study STEM. Perhaps, they have a legitimate reason.
If paying for an extra year of education is affordable, strike a deal where you kid gets a dual degree.
One in STEM, another in whatever they wish for.
All I want is for my child to be happy, and what you study has to be something you are really interested in. So I may think it's not a great choice, and may tell her, but at the end if the day it's her choice.
This thought has been bugging me lately. My children are still very young. But I want to be certain that when they go to college, they choose a STEM major, medicine, or whatever proves itself to be highly lucrative over the long haul. I am not motivated to pay for their college education if they don't do so.
Disowning them seems harsh. You know what disowning is right? You're essentially saying "I have no son/daughter." Refusing to acknowledge their existence at all. All because they picked a major you didn't like? I suppose you could just refuse to fund your child's college education and force them to take out loans/work multiple jobs to support themselves, that never killed anyone (although I'm personally not a fan of this approach). You may want to consider that your child might not be very good at a STEM major and may excel doing something else, such as teaching. You won't be fostering independence by forcing them to live their life in a way that pleases you. You can certainly provide guidance and help them make their choice (my parents did). But dictating their college major and threatening to disown them over picking something else will just hurt your relationship with them. However, if you believe your child should follow the path you choose for them rather than making their own decisions, you will probably never see your child as an independent adult anyway and your relationship will never transition from what you and your child have when they are in high school.
Then again, I've seen parents essentially disown their children because they didn't like their boyfriend/girlfriend choice (hetero couples too, so it wasn't always homophobia at play) or even because their child moved away for whatever reason, so nothing really surprises me anymore...
If you raise your children properly they'll learn to be happy and successful at the same time... and it may not even be related to what major they choose. If they fail in this regards, you're the one to blame. Certainly not a reason to disown them.
This thought has been bugging me lately. My children are still very young. But I want to be certain that when they go to college, they choose a STEM major, medicine, or whatever proves itself to be highly lucrative over the long haul. I am not motivated to pay for their college education if they don't do so.
Any thoughts on this?
There is no such thing as a college major that is highly lucrative over the long haul.
Every academic field goes through periods of high unemployment and low wages. All that really matters is that they are highly successful in their chosen field. If they do that, they will make a financially successful living regardless of their major.
If your children don't choose a college major you approve of, would you disown them?
Ofcourse not, that is ridiculous.
The love a parent has for a child, is unconditional (Or suppose to be at any rate).
By the time they are in college they are an adult, and if you do your job right
they should be independent and
they should be able to make the best decisions for their own lives, it is their lives not yours or mine, anyways right?
You have every right to not pay for college if it is something you disapprove of,
but "disown" them?????? Pahleez!
(My son is in college, and he chose to study Engineering, but I would have been just as supportive, if he wanted to chose to study in any other field.)
I'm really hoping you really didn't mean "disown" them.
You want what's best for your child and you don't want YOUR hard earned $$ going down the drain for some frivilous degree.....(we all know there are a ton of frivilous degrees out there.)
Did you really mean that you didn't want to pay for their college if this was the case?
My parents didn't pay for my college. My parents never encouraged me to go. They provided no support be in emotional or finacial. (I did just fine on my own in spite of it)
If I had to choose which support I would have rather had it would have been emotional.
Nothing is written that say a parent HAS to pay for a child's college....BUT....if you want to help them be as successful as they can, it's a wonderful thing to do.
The best thing you can do at this age is help them get the best education they can, encourage them to want to learn and it really is OK to give them "gentle" nudges in the direction you want them to go.
But in the end, it's up to them.
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