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Our daughter finally graduated from the college, she could complete it in four years, but she dragged more than a year anyway. Much time in playing, her status dropped from upper 70ish at entry to lower 20ish at the end. Now she has repeatedly claimed that she doesn't know what to do, so she wants "to take one year off "! We promised her we would help her as much as possible as long as she is serious about finding a job at her field, or switch to different field seriously, just anything seriously, but she is not interested. Even she doesn't prepare her resume. She told us, that we do not need to care about her, other than giving her a car. She may just find a waitress work for making living for now. So what would you do in such situation? Please offer your opinion, thank you. By the way, we are an Asian American Family.
Sorry, if my child took 5 years to graduate and has no plans for a job, that would be the end of my support. If they had a job and wanted to live at home to save money to buy a house or whatever, that would be ok, for a while...
She told us, that we do not need to care about her, other than giving her a car. She may just find a waitress work for making living for now. So what would you do in such situation? Please offer your opinion, thank you. By the way, we are an Asian American Family.
Um... no car either.
Being Asian American has nothing to do with it.
Our daughter finally graduated from the college, she could complete it in four years, but she dragged more than a year anyway. Much time in playing, her status dropped from upper 70ish at entry to lower 20ish at the end. Now she has repeatedly claimed that she doesn't know what to do, so she wants "to take one year off "! We promised her we would help her as much as possible as long as she is serious about finding a job at her field, or switch to different field seriously, just anything seriously, but she is not interested. Even she doesn't prepare her resume. She told us, that we do not need to care about her, other than giving her a car. She may just find a waitress work for making living for now. So what would you do in such situation? Please offer your opinion, thank you. By the way, we are an Asian American Family.
What did she major in?
What were (are) her career goals?
Student loans?
Serious boyfriend?
Friends?
Is she overall a happy balanced person?
If she doesn't have a car that is probably a huge obstacle for her looking for work. And, if you got her a safe reliable car, you wouldn't have to worry as much about her buying a marginal, unsafe car.
Sorry I mean her relative academical performance.
I agree with your rest opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal
What do you mean her "status dropped".
Sorry, if my child took 5 years to graduate and has no plans for a job, that would be the end of my support. If they had a job and wanted to live at home to save money to buy a house or whatever, that would be ok, for a while...
Let her get a job first, then, if a car was necessary to get to work, maybe. The stipulation would be that the car remained my property though, and use of it would stop if the job did.
To answer the questions in sequence : Her major is Environment, she doesn't show any career goal. In 5th year, she got her loan because we cant support her indefitely without her commitment. No, she has a couple of male acquaintances as far as we know. She has a close roomate who may be a bisex, last year she said " in foreseeable future I will stay with her" to our surprise. I think she is looking for the college psychologist counseling.
We agree to give a car for looking for job, but not just for general errand since the city she lives has very good public transportation. Actually now we agree to give her a down payment $2000 for a decent used car around $10 K, my understanding is if she finds any scheduled work she should get a loan easy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by plmokn
What did she major in?
What were (are) her career goals?
Student loans?
Serious boyfriend?
Friends?
Is she overall a happy balanced person?
If she doesn't have a car that is probably a huge obstacle for her looking for work. And, if you got her a safe reliable car, you wouldn't have to worry as much about her buying a marginal, unsafe car.
I think the issue is you need to have a car unless you live in an area with reliable city transportation which sadly many areas do not have. Now am I saying get her the best and most expensive new car, no. An A-to-B car from say five, ten years old.
Sorry, if my child took 5 years to graduate and has no plans for a job, that would be the end of my support. If they had a job and wanted to live at home to save money to buy a house or whatever, that would be ok, for a while...
To answer the questions in sequence : Her major is Environment, she doesn't show any career goal. In 5th year, she got her loan because we cant support her indefitely without her commitment. No, she has a couple of male acquaintances as far as we know. She has a close roomate who may be a bisex, last year she said " in foreseeable future I will stay with her" to our surprise. I think she is looking for the college psychologist counseling.
We agree to give a car for looking for job, but not just for general errand since the city she lives has very good public transportation. Actually now we agree to give her a down payment $2000 for a decent used car around $10 K, my understanding is if she finds any scheduled work she should get a loan easy.
That's not true that a decent car needs to cost ten thousand dollars! Buy her a $5000 car for transportation. If you can afford it, pay cash.
That way you are not taking back the gift that you promised her. When she is employed at a full time job, she can trade in the $5000 car for one she likes better.
Just get her basic transportation.
I know you are not going to like this idea, but she did graduate from college and if she wants to "take a year off" and she has a college degree, she has accomplished something.
Try giving her a little space.
Just a year as she requested. And a $5000 car will be just fine.
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