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devang026 questions prompted a realization on my part... Outside of the Ivies parents may not be aware of the " Gap Year " for high school students granted at some higher institutions. Wealthier families take it for granted. I searched for the term Gap Year and nothing relevant came up. To even the playing field I thought to introduce this. My hope is to give parents a concept to consider if their student child has need to defer admittance to a College / University after being accepted / admitted for matriculation.
University Deferral Policies for Gap Years
"Please note that this was part of an informal survey that took place in the 2013/2014 academic year. All responses are quoted from the Admissions source."
Regarding Harvard
" Harvard College encourages admitted students to defer enrollment for one year to travel, pursue a special project or activity, work, or spend time in another meaningful way. Perhaps the best way of all to get the full benefit of a "time-off" is to postpone entrance to college for a year.
.... Harvard also has a website devoted to the gap year (OCS-For Visitors: Gap Year) as well as a Harvard gap year student group (Home | Gap . Year . Harvard . College) . These sites can provide useful information and connections about what to do with your gap year."
Should I Take Time Off?
"Harvard College encourages admitted students to defer enrollment for one year to travel, pursue a special project or activity, work, or spend time in another meaningful way—provided they do not enroll in a degree-granting program at another college. Deferrals for two-year obligatory military service are also granted. Each year, between 80 and 110 students defer their matriculation to the College.
For more thoughts on the advantages of taking time off before college, read the article below, “Time Out or Burn Out for the Next Generation.”
William Fitzsimmons
Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid, Harvard College
When Your Child Asks for a Gap Year or to Defer Admission
By Peterson's Staff updated on Wednesday, January 30, 2013
"If your child is hesitating to pack up and head off to college right away, it's not unusual. For a variety of reasons, many students take a break for a year (sometimes called a "gap year") before enrolling because they aren't ready to go straight from high school to college. Some study abroad for a year after high school, some travel, some get jobs and work, and others pursue art, a sport, or another skill or full-time hobby. Still others choose to use this time to take care of a health problem or to work on personal or family problems."
I didn't know. Heard my child trying to hide sobs in the shower. Alarmed, I snuck into her room. Computer screen displayed
" From the cradle on …
The chase for the prize begins early, and some recent reports sound hyperbolic. Anecdotes abound of infants serenaded with classical music to enhance their mental powers; ...guilt-tripping parents by telling them that their children will be hopelessly behind by age three or four if they don’t follow myriad prescribed strategies. .... “right” pre-kindergarten, kindergarten, or primary school—thereby presumably ensuring admission to the right high school, college, graduate school, and so on. ... competition for admission to some of the pre-k, kindergarten, and grammar schools can be intense—statistically more difficult (with lower admission rates) than Harvard.
.... Sports, music, dance, and other recreational activities used to provide a welcome break, a time to relax and unwind. No more: training for college scholarships—or professional contracts—begins early, even in grammar school.... "
Taken fromTime Out or Burn Out for the Next Generation
I sat in shock. I am THAT parent to the destruction of my marriage. I am THAT parent to the destruction of relationships between myself and various teachers who tried to advocate for my child and others under their care. I sat in shame thinking how I thought I knew best and it took a dean from Harvard to get through my stubborn head. that I. was. wrong. Badly, sadly wrong for years. 17 wasteful years.
I called my estranged SO. Sent the link. We met crying together. Then we sat our child down asking for the truth. Said we will not be angry, we WILL listen. And we did... for 6 straight hours. We LISTENED to the voice of our child. At first, we couldn't believe how much had been suppressed over the years. The daily hidden sadness. Our child.
Parents. READ this then talk to your child. Ask your child to read this and to tell you have you honestly been this type of parent throughout their life. If you have, ask for their forgiveness. Then do all you can to support what THEY want. I am. We are... now.
Sinful Thoughts thank you. I want to give back.
As an aside - My child secret dream was to learn (take biology classes) on the sea. I never knew. I was shown hidden scrap books filled with programs offered in the summer, 6 months programs etc. Watching my child bubbling excitement I realize I had NEVER seen this child happy. This was happiness.
We are of modest means but will make my child's dream come true. We will give permission for the " gap year " without fuss or recrimination. We give our full support. Everyday I laugh witnessing such enthusiasm. Unsolicited hugs and kisses. Homework joyfully embraced. My husband is back in the home. We mouth to each other "where did THIS child come from" with smiling eyes.
To those teachers who try in spite of parents like myself who made (past) or who make (present) your life a living hell -- Forgive us. Forgive me. I'm sorry.
Last edited by toobusytoday; 04-02-2015 at 12:47 PM..
Reason: new posters cannot post active links
A gap year may make sense for some kids, but for many, that's too young to be able to make good use of it. "Pursue a project"? A lot of kids have no idea what they want at that age, and no idea what they would major in. If a child asks for a gap year, and has a good idea of what they want to use it for, parents should be supportive. Otherwise, a gap year between sophomore year and the junior year could be considered, when the child has a better idea of where they want to go with their studies. Some students aren't mature enough to use a gap year wisely. It seems like Harvard is making a big assumption about 16-, 17- and 18-year-olds, but it's nice that they're supportive of the kids who do want a gap year, and are able to use it constructively.
It seems like Harvard is making a big assumption about 16-, 17- and 18-year-olds, but it's nice that they're supportive of the kids who do want a gap year, and are able to use it constructively.
I strongly disagree. Harvard is addressing THEIR students with a certain experiential background only. MY child couldn't tell me this. My family is thankful for information normally not given to us. Why must information be suitable to every factor of our live if it is to be of merit. MY CHILD is happy, really happy. WE are happy. I've been wrong to so many teachers. This is a private, personal matter. It has merit to those who are like ME not the whole world. Parents will learn a lot by what THEIR child tell them.
We are capable of adapting whatever information comes our way to our personal situation.
Last edited by Repentant Parent; 04-01-2015 at 01:46 PM..
Gap year? Wonderful if your family can afford it and are willing to finance it so that you can "find" yourself. You know where most kids will find themselves? Working some menial job to just try to get by financially.
Now, I'm not saying taking off some time after high school is necessarily a bad thing. If a student graduates High School without a clue about what they want to pursue as a career in life, taking a year off to mature and evaluate your future might be a good idea rather than instantly burying yourself in college debt with no plan.
Harvard's assumption which is probably pretty close to the truth considering the students that are accepted into that institution, is these teenagers will instantly make wise decisions for their "gap" year and have access to plenty of money from mom and dad.
A better plan for a gap year is doing the community college or college basics route then taking off a year using the knowledge you gained from being out of high school for a couple years (and having still been in academia) to pursue a lower level job for a year or two in the field that you've discovered that you want to pursue. Find out for sure if a certain occupation is what you want and THEN finish your undergrad and possibly graduate studies.
Gap year? Wonderful if your family can afford it and are willing to finance it so that you can "find" yourself. You know where most kids will find themselves? Working some menial job to just try to get by financially.
Did you go through their links? We did, and they do. Our daughter could volunteer, exchanging labor for room and board, exposure to what she dream to do during her gap year etc. without us spending a penny. Did you know this? I will not accept limitations based on opinions etc. without that opinion/assumption(s) taking the time to be versed on said subject. At least look over the links THEN speak (write).
These sites can provide useful information and connections about what to do with your gap year."
It's a waste of time to talk about something already addressed that can be answered by taking the time to go through their information FIRST. Sinful's prior links would have answered your questions/statements.
We already are contacting various local communities and organizations who are supportive to my child's goals (will donate a stipend toward airfare etc.). We learned what CAN be because of a will to extract what is useful, then adapt it (information shown/posted) to our situation. All we needed was EXPOSURE.
Just because we are POOR doesn't mean we are ignorant. Just because we are POOR doesn't mean we accept the limitations of being poor. We don't. Neither do others and OUR child will have her gap year in spite of our "poverty". Thank God for them!
Last edited by Repentant Parent; 04-01-2015 at 02:45 PM..
devang026 questions prompted a realization on my part... Outside of the Ivies parents may not be aware of the " Gap Year " for high school students granted at some higher institutions. Wealthier families take it for granted. I searched for the term Gap Year and nothing relevant came up. To even the playing field I thought to introduce this. My hope is to give parents a concept to consider if their student child has need to defer admittance to a College / University after being accepted / admitted for matriculation.
I think gap years are good for some kids, but surprised that you would think it's earth shattering news. We never looked at the top tier schools because we needed merit money, but many schools offer gap years, you just have to ask. Keyword search, "gap year, USA" brings up tons of links.
For my kids College was so hugely different than HS, that they were happy to go and finally study subjects that were interesting to them, not worry about the slackers pulling the class down and move away from home. I know several college grads that did AmeriCorps AmeriCorps | Corporation for National and Community Service and a couple that did Peace Corps. To me, that makes mores sense. It's HARD to get a worthwhile job when you have just a HS diploma that is at all meaningful.
I strongly disagree. Harvard is addressing THEIR students with a certain experiential background only. MY child couldn't tell me this. My family is thankful for information normally not given to us. Why must information be suitable to every factor of our live if it is to be of merit. MY CHILD is happy, really happy. WE are happy. I've been wrong to so many teachers. This is a private, personal matter. It has merit to those who are like ME not the whole world. Parents will learn a lot by what THEIR child tell them.
We are capable of adapting whatever information comes our way to our personal situation.
I wasn't talking about your post. I said it's great Harvard is getting the message out there, and supporting kids who do want a gap year. But many kids aren't ready for that. It's a good thing it isn't a requirement.
OMG you guys are so unsupportive to an idea almost bordering on arrogance! Why not assume instead that all things considered the decision has been made instead of attacking an idea worthy to someone of my station in life (POOR).
For poor people IT IS earth shattering news. God forbid you to be happy for our simple joy, discovery. Want to hold that against us as well????? Beat us up about what we aren't exposed to????? I asked middle-class friends did they know about it and they didn't. I was proud that they sincerely thanked me.
Negative, negative, negative mindsets. Negativity. Bring out the negative or the exception toward negativity. Introduce sub-topics/ideas toward complaints, vibing on/toward negativity.
For what it's worth - I'm sorry to those teachers I abused as a parent. YOU were right. Also, Thank you Sinful for giving my family ideas of hope. I could never thank you enough.
I'm done with conversing of this sort unless it helpfully, RESPECTFULLY supports/aids us toward our goal. Thank you ahead of time.
Last edited by Repentant Parent; 04-01-2015 at 03:22 PM..
....For poor people IT IS earth shattering news. God forbid you to be happy for our simple joy, discovery....
.... I'm done with conversing of this sort unless it helpfully, RESPECTFULLY supports/aids us toward our goal. Thank you ahead of time.
I received word of your postings. You have inspired me. I would like to assist. Send me a private message including your give back link.
I deeply respect valuing opportunities of exposure. Thank you for doing your part - examining all links and the links' links to get an overall view which can be time intensive. It shows respect for the topic. It reveal to me openness, interest, flexibility, adaptability, determination, intelligence regardless of your station in life - values I highly respect. Your attitude, mindset, ambition and honesty inspire me. Let's speak privately. Please send me a direct message including the link you originally posted as giving back. If deemed praiseworthy (will go through all links associated with that link) and useful as a source to others I'll post it for you. My hope - this site could be used for sharing reliable sources of information.
Whatever may be, I will share information / resources with you privately. Poverty is not a problem. People won't understand why a 1 percenter would work on a humble organic farm in Chile in exchange for seasoned knowledge from the humble, organic farmer. Why a 1 percenter would work under a hot sun, in the fields, pulling vegetables, doing humble work. Nor understand the value that farmer has to the 1 percenter without prejudice / judgements / assumptions...
Please private message me since I cannot be relied on as a regular poster. Respectfully, Sinful Thoughts
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