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Old 07-23-2015, 09:40 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,817 posts, read 39,361,269 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Again, I do not believe that a tuition or housing or any University bill was ever sent to our home. Now, it is possible that our children received a bill, in their names, before they left home the summer before their freshman year but I do not recall that.

Bills sent to their home (parent's home) address? Never.

Maybe it is a different between public Universities and private schools.
I went private.

Bills were sent to my home address (i.e. my parents' address), but addressed to me. Much like my grades. I never switched my address to my college's address, because it wasn't a permanent change of address, but kept my home state address as my residency of record. Again, this was when all billing occurred via mail, none sent digitally.
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Old 07-24-2015, 05:17 AM
 
3,614 posts, read 2,693,713 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
You ever notice how college consider the kids as adults in every way -- privacy, sex, grades -- except one. Yep, when it comes to money, they are still considered dependents. Look at the FAFSA. Parents are included in all fund sources because it means they get less financial aid than if the looked at the students as adults.
Unless a student can prove that they get zero support from their parents, this is as it should be. Back when I was in college, I know way too many people that abused the "emancipation" rule and ended up getting college paid for by tax payers when their parents could pay for their schooling without any issues. One woman I went to school with specifically, her parents were very wealthy, owned several major businesses, had 5 or 6 vacation homes, she drove a BMW, yet she got a full financial ride to school because she was "emancipated"....sorry, I agree with how the financial aid is allocated.
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Old 07-24-2015, 05:48 AM
 
12,454 posts, read 27,074,960 times
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I'm not sure why it's a big deal that the bills are going to the students home. 95% of the parents are paying the bills and the home address is the legal address of the bill payer. I personally wouldn't have wanted something that important languishing in my kids school mailbox.
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Old 07-24-2015, 07:37 AM
 
11,614 posts, read 19,716,271 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I fell for it the first time, with our eldest. He rolled his eyes. Never again.
I did also. My oldest laughed at me and asked me how much I spent on that lame care package. After that I sent Cheez Its and Cliff bars from Amazon.com.
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Old 07-24-2015, 09:37 AM
 
4,541 posts, read 9,496,950 times
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We get no bill - in order for me to see it our son had to create a login for me on the website where it can be paid.

We did tours with our son and there was also a parent orientation that was completely separate from the students. It was interesting - and very specific to what the program was going to be like but also general stuff as well and there was some helpful information. It did not happen at time of move in and frankly, if it weren't for the fact that we lived close by, we would not have gone.

We get no communication from the university other than what has already been said - fund raising and care packages and an occasional email in regards to the university as a whole.
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Old 07-24-2015, 01:05 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,676 posts, read 64,172,365 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
Good luck. That's the way it used to be but over the last couple decades has changed. Why? I don't know but have some theories..
Actually, that isn't the way it used to be, if you go back to the 60's and earlier. Even the 70's,, at some schools. Colleges used to have a policy of acting "in loco parentis": in the parents' stead. Dorms had curfews by which time they were locked, and residents didn't have a key (especially the women's dorms), the opposite sex wasn't allowed in dorm rooms, or not after a certain hour, and there were other protective policies. Some universities didn't allow students to live off-campus (unless they were living with family) until their senior year.

It seems to me the OP is a very progressive parent. I haven't known too many parents who would tell their 16-, 17-, or 18-year-old kids that they're old enough to make their own decisions about going away with friends for a weekend. There are a lot of over-protective parents out there, and conservative parents. I think a lot of kids are able to handle responsibility at a much younger age than their parents think they can, and babying them doesn't do them any favors.

Kudos to the OP!
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Old 07-24-2015, 04:37 PM
 
5,753 posts, read 3,041,090 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwerty View Post
Unless a student can prove that they get zero support from their parents, this is as it should be. Back when I was in college, I know way too many people that abused the "emancipation" rule and ended up getting college paid for by tax payers when their parents could pay for their schooling without any issues. One woman I went to school with specifically, her parents were very wealthy, owned several major businesses, had 5 or 6 vacation homes, she drove a BMW, yet she got a full financial ride to school because she was "emancipated"....sorry, I agree with how the financial aid is allocated.
Why should we care if parents are wealthy or not -- it's the student going to school. At what age would you not consider the "wealthy parents" as responsible for their offspring's bills? 21? 31? 51?

My point is in the inconsistency. And why isn't an 18 year old considered "emancipated?" They can enter contracts. They can go to war. They're considered an adult in every way but this one.
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Old 07-24-2015, 05:23 PM
 
7,551 posts, read 7,981,754 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Actually, that isn't the way it used to be, if you go back to the 60's and earlier. Even the 70's,, at some schools. Colleges used to have a policy of acting "in loco parentis": in the parents' stead. Dorms had curfews by which time they were locked, and residents didn't have a key (especially the women's dorms), the opposite sex wasn't allowed in dorm rooms, or not after a certain hour, and there were other protective policies. Some universities didn't allow students to live off-campus (unless they were living with family) until their senior year.

It seems to me the OP is a very progressive parent. I haven't known too many parents who would tell their 16-, 17-, or 18-year-old kids that they're old enough to make their own decisions about going away with friends for a weekend. There are a lot of over-protective parents out there, and conservative parents. I think a lot of kids are able to handle responsibility at a much younger age than their parents think they can, and babying them doesn't do them any favors.

Kudos to the OP!
This is what I remember too. Dorms had curfews and the entire dorm building, not just the floor, were for either men or women. There were curfews for visitors to the dorm and RAs were strict. If we wanted our final grades earlier than waiting the 2 months or so for receiving a transcript in the mail, we would give the professors a self-addressed stamped postcard. Not only did my parents know my grades before me, so did the mailman. You were a minor until age 21.
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Old 07-24-2015, 06:03 PM
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
32,111 posts, read 39,184,670 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coney View Post
This is what I remember too. Dorms had curfews and the entire dorm building, not just the floor, were for either men or women. There were curfews for visitors to the dorm and RAs were strict. If we wanted our final grades earlier than waiting the 2 months or so for receiving a transcript in the mail, we would give the professors a self-addressed stamped postcard. Not only did my parents know my grades before me, so did the mailman. You were a minor until age 21.

You both are right, I went at the end of that era.

But, and this was the point of the thread I think, parents didn't seem to hover as much 40 years ago. I described mine but I also realize that is an anomaly. I can't imagine any of my college instructors ever even being polite to a complaining parent.

Growing up I had only one instruction about getting in trouble, "I won't bail your ass out of jail". I think because all the ready cash for bail money had been used bailing my older brother out.
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Old 07-24-2015, 06:13 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,676 posts, read 64,172,365 times
Reputation: 68458
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
You both are right, I went at the end of that era.

But, and this was the point of the thread I think, parents didn't seem to hover as much 40 years ago. I described mine but I also realize that is an anomaly. I can't imagine any of my college instructors ever even being polite to a complaining parent.

Growing up I had only one instruction about getting in trouble, "I won't bail your ass out of jail". I think because all the ready cash for bail money had been used bailing my older brother out.
It's true in general that parents didn't hover so much. But there were always helicopter parents--parents who helped their kids do their homework and were excessively involved in their lives. But they were outliers. Now, it's common.
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