Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've been attending college for the last six months and I don't like it. I can't really say that I totally hate it: I actually enjoy aspects of all of my classes and last semester, I got mostly As and Bs, so it's not because I'm a terrible student. I really liked the first month of college, but then the novelty of being away from home wore off, my classes got harder, the weather got colder, and I drifted away from all the friends I had made during the first month once I realized how unlike me most of my fellow students are. The fact that I never drink or have sex with strangers largely excludes me from college social life, so I spend most of my time in my room watching Netflix and writing. Because of all this isolation and confusion, I developed severe depression, not leaving my room for days at a time.
But my depression is better now because I know what I want to do with my life. I want to be a film director. I know it's not the most practical career choice, but I'm terrible at anything involving numbers and equations, so for me, there is no practical career choice. I love film: watching movies, writing movies, reading about movies, and making movies is the only thing that gives my life meaning. For the first time in my life, I believe in myself. I know that I can be a great director. One of the best things about being a director is that you don't need a college degree: only talent and experience. In fact, college would only be a distraction, taking away time and energy that I could put into my directing career. As a result, I want to drop out of college to pursue filmmaking full time.
Unfortunately, my parents aren't fond of my idea. They think it's great that I want to be a director, but even though I told them repeatedly that you don't need a degree for it, they want me to go to college for three more years and graduate. I came up with the idea of taking a gap year as a compromise with the idea that if I proved my talent and commitment to directing, they would let me drop out permanently and if I failed and did nothing, I would have to go back to college. They thought this was a good idea, but they said I could only take a gap year a year from now and not starting at the end of this semester like I had planned. This seemed fair enough at the time, but the more I think about it, the more the idea of going to college for another year seriously depresses me.
In fact, the only reason why I haven't already dropped out is that I have such a great scholarship that I pay about 1/10th of what the average college student pays each semester. It's still expensive, but it's a once in a lifetime deal. My parents worked very hard to get me into college and are thrilled by how cheap it is, so I'd feel extremely guilty about throwing it all away. But my heart is not in college: nearly everything I do that's school-related seems pointless. I can't transfer to a film school, either because I'd lose my scholarship: my parents would rather have me drop out than transfer. Also, my Dad agreed to partially finance one of my films but only if I graduate from college first.
I just know the real world would be a better fit for me than college. I'm a very unusual 18 year-old. I have no desire to drink until I'm 21 and after that, I'll only ever drink in moderation. I wouldn't really want to have sex unless I'm in a monogamous relationship with someone I love. I don't like parties unless they're small, low-key, and free of any really dangerous activities. As a college student, I'm a weirdo, but as a working adult, I'd be a model citizen. Every aspect of college is seeming more and more absurd to me every day. If I left college, I would be totally 100% committed to filmmaking every day: it wouldn't even feel like work because I love it so much. But for someone in my situation, the thought of leaving college is just as unfathomable as the thought of staying. What should I do?
You sound like you've convinced yourself, so go with your inclination.
It may be difficult for you to land in an occupation that you'll find meaningful w/o more education, though. Something you might consider would be military service where you could pick up a technical skill. Also, in a few years your attitude towards college may change and the GI Bill benefits would be a welcome plus in that case.
(a) One closer to your parents home where you could commute
or
(b) To a more serious college with less of a party scene
I was once in your position and I mostly befriended the nerdy/shy Asian, Indian, Nigerian and foreign kids since they tended to shy away from the crazy American college lifestyle. I've made some great connections as well.
You sound like a lot of young people who think everyone out there is a certain way, and there's nothing else. I know guys who married completely the wrong woman for them, but they were convinced that the only alternative was women who went to bed in curlers. Literally, that's what one of them said. Both those guys were miserable and got divorced.
There are all kinds of people in college, including ones like you that are into creative things (poetry, writing, film, music) and not into drinking and having sex with strangers. You only need to find them. You've only been there 6 months, so you've only scratched the surface, socially. Start looking for poetry open mics, the geek crowd with their own off-the-wall interests, hang around the music department to see who's over there, and what kind of music they're making. Check out the theater department. Volunteer to help out behind the scenes for productions.
So you're stuck in college with a scholarship you can't turn down. Look at the Communications major; in the larger schools, there will be a film option there. And for future reference, there are film schools all over the US. They set students up with internships with producers, they have known filmmakers do presentations, they teach you the tricks of the trade. That's what people who are serious about film do. Without that experience and those connections, you won't be competitive. And btw, a lot of it is gruntwork: hauling around heavy camera equipment, building sets, working with actors. (Are you a people person? It helps. Not a people person? Think twice about directing.)
A film student in a conventional university could get a Communications degree with a focus on film, and might get small jobs documenting a university museum's' holdings, or creating PR for feature exhibits. (I know someone who did this while getting her degree, and she continued to work for the museum after graduating.) Or they might intern with a local news station. Or score a fellowship to go to summer film school somewhere.
Figure out how to make the most of your situation. And congratulations on the scholarship. You must be a good student. Think of a practical subject to minor in, in case the film gig doesn't work out.
Last edited by MountainHi; 02-13-2016 at 06:27 PM..
Can you trust your own judgment at this time is the question. The depression didn.t lift. You are feeding into it with a plan to isolate even more from society at a time in your life you should be experimenting with learning new subjects and meeting new people and learning how to navigate in the real world when the time comes after graduation.
Perhaps some counseling and anti anxiety meds would help. I hate to say that bc it sounds like such a pat answer these days: people without at least a 4 year degree get nowhere nowadays, and it.s great to dream but you need a solid foundation of education in the world.
Run some of your film making ideas eith a trusted professor at your school and ask for an honest opinion. You can finish school and keep your passion, and in 3 years, you may even decide to continue with Masters.
Stay in school is my advise. Especially if you are pulling good grades.
Can you trust your own judgment at this time is the question. The depression didn.t lift. You are feeding into it with a plan to isolate even more from society at a time in your life you should be experimenting with learning new subjects and meeting new people and learning how to navigate in the real world when the time comes after graduation.
Perhaps some counseling and anti anxiety meds would help. I hate to say that bc it sounds like such a pat answer these days: people without at least a 4 year degree get nowhere nowadays, and it.s great to dream but you need a solid foundation of education in the world.
Run some of your film making ideas eith a trusted professor at your school and ask for an honest opinion. You can finish school and keep your passion, and in 3 years, you may even decide to continue with Masters.
Stay in school is my advise. Especially if you are pulling good grades.
Good points. And the fact is, you sound like a lot of freshmen who end up feeling very alienated in their first year. It can be hard to make friends. Frosh year depression or alienation is actually a thing. So you're far from alone. If there's a counseling center, give it a shot.
And look around for interesting courses that fulfill the basic breadth requirements. Find a cool music or art class. Look for some off-the-wall courses that fit into Humanities or Science or whatever. I hope you're at a school that's big enough for some good variety, like Oceanography (very cool, and relevant to global warming today), Buddhism to satisfy the philosophy requirement, unusual history courses instead of the boring run-of-the-mill European history, get creative with your general requirements. You never know--you might find a topic that would make an interesting film subject. Does your school have an astronomy observatory? That can be an interesting place to hang out. Push the limits of what your school has to offer, and how you can make it work for you.
Stay in school and use some of the suggestions listed here to make it more palatable. This is coming from someone who didn't stay in.
You may not need a degree to be a film director, but I'm 100% certain that you'd make a better film director with the added knowledge you'd get with four years of college. It'll make you a more well-rounded person, with a better understanding of the world around you.
When I was your age I didn't want to go to college either, plus I couldn't afford it. My parents couldn't afford to help, and I'd p***ed away any chance of a decent scholarship with unspectacular high school grades. I wanted to own/run a newspaper. And I finally did -- and was heavily invested in several. It didn't take a college degree, but I don't think a day went by that I didn't regret no degree. It would have made me a better writer, better editor, better manager.
I finally retired young and sold everything, then enrolled in college to see what I could learn. Plenty!
Find a way to enjoy the college scene. I'm sure there are plenty of other students with social interests similar to yours. (Not every college student only wants to party!) At the very least, finish up the first two years. Then if you still want to take a break and transfer for the kind of film degree you want, at least you'll have your basic requirements met and can transfer the credits.
I've been attending college for the last six months and I don't like it. I can't really say that I totally hate it: I actually enjoy aspects of all of my classes and last semester, I got mostly As and Bs, so it's not because I'm a terrible student. I really liked the first month of college, but then the novelty of being away from home wore off, my classes got harder, the weather got colder, and I drifted away from all the friends I had made during the first month once I realized how unlike me most of my fellow students are. The fact that I never drink or have sex with strangers largely excludes me from college social life, so I spend most of my time in my room watching Netflix and writing. Because of all this isolation and confusion, I developed severe depression, not leaving my room for days at a time.
But my depression is better now because I know what I want to do with my life. I want to be a film director. I know it's not the most practical career choice, but I'm terrible at anything involving numbers and equations, so for me, there is no practical career choice. I love film: watching movies, writing movies, reading about movies, and making movies is the only thing that gives my life meaning. For the first time in my life, I believe in myself. I know that I can be a great director. One of the best things about being a director is that you don't need a college degree: only talent and experience. In fact, college would only be a distraction, taking away time and energy that I could put into my directing career. As a result, I want to drop out of college to pursue filmmaking full time.
Unfortunately, my parents aren't fond of my idea. They think it's great that I want to be a director, but even though I told them repeatedly that you don't need a degree for it, they want me to go to college for three more years and graduate. I came up with the idea of taking a gap year as a compromise with the idea that if I proved my talent and commitment to directing, they would let me drop out permanently and if I failed and did nothing, I would have to go back to college. They thought this was a good idea, but they said I could only take a gap year a year from now and not starting at the end of this semester like I had planned. This seemed fair enough at the time, but the more I think about it, the more the idea of going to college for another year seriously depresses me.
In fact, the only reason why I haven't already dropped out is that I have such a great scholarship that I pay about 1/10th of what the average college student pays each semester. It's still expensive, but it's a once in a lifetime deal. My parents worked very hard to get me into college and are thrilled by how cheap it is, so I'd feel extremely guilty about throwing it all away. But my heart is not in college: nearly everything I do that's school-related seems pointless. I can't transfer to a film school, either because I'd lose my scholarship: my parents would rather have me drop out than transfer. Also, my Dad agreed to partially finance one of my films but only if I graduate from college first.
I just know the real world would be a better fit for me than college. I'm a very unusual 18 year-old. I have no desire to drink until I'm 21 and after that, I'll only ever drink in moderation. I wouldn't really want to have sex unless I'm in a monogamous relationship with someone I love. I don't like parties unless they're small, low-key, and free of any really dangerous activities. As a college student, I'm a weirdo, but as a working adult, I'd be a model citizen. Every aspect of college is seeming more and more absurd to me every day. If I left college, I would be totally 100% committed to filmmaking every day: it wouldn't even feel like work because I love it so much. But for someone in my situation, the thought of leaving college is just as unfathomable as the thought of staying. What should I do?
I'm not a lot different from you in many ways, so please trust what I say.
Don't drop out.
First, you seem to have an excellent scholarship, so you're getting a valuable education for very little money. It probably still seems like a lot of money to you at this age, but 1/10 of the usual cost puts you somewhere between $2000 and $5000 per year, which is nothing in the long run.
Financially, it would even make sense to borrow all of the money you need to attend. A $20k loan at a low interest rate isn't going to hurt you over the course of your life, and it will make it easier to get a good job in the long run. Much easier.
Okay, that out of the way, let me say that your social approach to college isn't a bad idea, but know that a huge number of the people you run into in class are similar to you. Not everyone goes out drinking and partying and doing whatever else stereotypical college kids do. In fact, the best students don't do those things. You just tend not to see them, because they're too busy doing quieter things.
That doesn't mean I don't think you should have a social life. Don't get involved in anything dangerous, but go ahead and look for some clubs that will let you meet people with quieter interests.
Get out of your dorm room, though. (Go ahead and go back in the evening so you can sleep, I mean. Just get out during the day.) The quickest way to feel depressed in school is to spend all of your time in cramped, shared quarters, where the only other person you see is a roommate whom you might not like. Get out. Go for walks around the campus. Do some people watching. If you're in a big city, explore it a bit. Go to the park, take in cultural activities, go to the zoo. Have fun!
Again, do not fall into the trap of watching Netflix all the time. I've been there (not Netflix specifically, because it wasn't around yet). It's awful until you pull yourself out of it.
College is the last time in your life when you won't have very many responsibilities. Almost everything is taken care of for you, so enjoy it while you can.
But still work hard, of course. Just don't work so hard that you forget to enjoy life.
And network. Seriously, find a club at your school dedicated to watching, analyzing, and directing films. If there isn't one, start one. Meet in a classroom once per week, watch a classic film, and discuss it.
Also, even if you want to be a film director, it's really not great to assume you're going to make it. Get a broad education so you have a fallback plan. If you don't make it as a director, having a degree will make it easier to put food on the table. If you do have a degree, you'll have a broader worldview that will help you make better films, and you'll have a network of people who might help finance projects. And so on.
Again, too, don't convince yourself that everyone in college is there just to indulge in vices. It can seem that way sometimes, but it isn't. Don't think that your only choices are to go along with the party scene or to isolate yourself. Those are probably both bad for you.
I went to a few parties here and there during college, but I didn't drink, and honestly, I didn't enjoy the parties much, because loud noises and bad smells bother me. I still had a ton of fun in school, though.
Another thing you won't want to miss is the opportunity to study abroad. If you're going to try to break into film, you'll need to do this, just to get a better picture of how big the world is. Spend a semester or a year in Hong Kong or Paris or some other place where lots of great films are made, and learn from the great filmmakers of the past and from some of the same things that inspired them to go on to greatness.
While you're still an undergrad, you have the opportunity to do this without having to take time off from work. That's part of what makes it so great. You can go, learn a lot, experience the world, and come back without having to worry that your life fell apart while you were gone.
Plan first, of course. If you're going to Hong Kong, see if you can spend a year or two learning some basic Cantonese before you go. Maybe you'll be close to fluent when you come back. French would be even easier, if you go to Paris.
My point is that you have a rare opportunity to see the world while paying very little. You have four years to learn almost anything you want, and much of it will help you to be a better director in the future if you manage to break into directing. It'll be a safer path through life, too, since you'll have a landing spot if directing doesn't work out.
Maybe you can even get your broad education out of the way during undergrad and then go to film school later, after you've established yourself a little. I'm not an expert on film school, so I'm not sure how that usually goes.
However, I do know that the education you can pick up now is something you won't regret, provided you make the most of it.
In fact, your serious attitude toward life can help you learn better, too. So many kids spend college focusing on how they can waste time and indulge in more partying than the next student, often pretty much ignoring the personal growth that goes along with learning.
If, instead, you're able to have a good attitude about all the stuff you're learning in class, you'll go far. See, a lot of kids spend as much time arguing that they "don't need to know this stuff" as they spend learning it. They don't have the wisdom to see why the people with many, many years of experience and expertise recommend it.
Since you're not one to follow the crowd and kill your brain cells with beer and STDs at this age, maybe you can avoid following the crowd when it looks for ways to get through class without actually learning anything.
One more thing. If you're feeling depressed, your school almost certainly has counseling services, and they're probably free. Use them. Universities get a lot of students who suffer from being away from home for the first time, in a high stress environment. There's no shame in getting a little help to bring the sunshine out, and the counselors can probably help direct you toward, among other things, some nice groups of people with similar outlooks for friends, some sources of inspiration for your studies, cultural experiences in your city, and so on.
Other types of counselors (you know, the academic kind) can help you get set up for a semester or year abroad. Or they can help you plan how to get your education to help you advance your career.
Those services are there for you, so take advantage of them.
Just don't sit around in your dorm and hope that the malaise will lift on its own. It won't. It sometimes takes a bit of a kick in the pants to get out the door and to start living life, but once you get out there, things will often start to clear up on their own.
Some last things: no matter how much of a slog life can seem to be, don't skip class. That is a surefire way to make life worse, because you'll add the stress of failling your classes on top of everything else.
Also, remember that, even if you feel lost at times, so do most of the people you're around. Many of them are disoriented and confused and homesick and sad. Find a small group of them. Become close. Become each other's support. You might end up bonding for life, but even if not, you'll help each other get through four long years, and you'll help each other grow into adult life.
One more: If you're having trouble finding groups of like-minded people just from looking around at campus clubs (you'll probably find something -- I've seen clubs for everything from cricket games to Korean pop music to hiking to Dungeons and Dragons), consider going to meetup.com to find people show share your interests.
You'll be really glad to have a nice group of people who like talking about the same things you like talking about.
Don't give up. The early part of college is the hardest. Once you fight through that and get yourself established, you'll have a lot of fun.
I didn't make a lot of friends during my first year. Or rather, I made some, but the people I really remember were people I met later on. College-as-a-narrative might seem as if it's a place where you meet your best friends right away, but in real life, you might not meet anyone who changes your life until your second year. What I mean is that you aren't cut off from having some amazing and memorable social experiences, just because you haven't had them yet.
Korodno, you've received excellent advice. Please pay attention to it. They've written helpful, thoughtful posts and took a lot of time to try and help you. Listen to them and learn.
My advise is to think about the fact that real life lasts A LONG TIME. You are in a position that millions of kids your age would envy. They would embrace it, not squander it.
Try to imagine being 40 years old. Think about how you will feel. In one case, you are a college graduate, and in another, you are a person who took the easy way out.
Can you be successful anyway? Maybe. Can you be unsuccessful with a degree? Maybe.
My feeling is that the benefits you will get from working through the rough spots and challenges in your life will be one of the most valuable lessons you will learn if you stick it out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
