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Old 08-02-2017, 11:02 AM
 
Location: The analog world
14,664 posts, read 8,295,983 times
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I do think soon-to-be college students need guidance when assembling the items they'll need in their dorm rooms. Many of them will overlook things because they unconscously take items that are shared between family members for granted. They may not recognize that they will need their own versions when living away from home. And as pointed out, colleges can vary dramatically in how accessible students will find shopping. I won't criticize parents for reviewing the packing list and making suggestions. I've certainly done that with my kids, although I've encouraged them to take primary responsibility for shopping. That said, I've enjoyed tagging along with my daughter these past few weeks as she's picked things out. It's been a fun bonding experience and a nice way to end this stage of our mother-daughter relationship and move on to the next one. I have a very different relationship with my daughter than I do with my sons. I'm really going to miss her while she's away at school.

Last edited by randomparent; 08-02-2017 at 12:10 PM..
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Old 08-02-2017, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,218 posts, read 97,355,967 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pobre View Post
Since my daughter will not have transportation to get to a dollar store I will choose to send them with her. Things like that are not going to occur to her at first. Every single thing that she is bringing has been her choice, whether I suggested it or she came up with it. I have never helicoptered my kids before, but I will not defend myself for helping her to think of items that might be needed.
Do calm down, there, pobre! As this thread expands, people are adding their "one more thing" and the OP is going to need a U-Haul truck to get the stuff there! I hasten to point out I never accused you or anyone else on this thread, probably no one else on CD ever of "helicoptering".

As far as transportation and dollar stores, you'd be surprised how kids manage to find friends with cars and the like. Also, one of my daughters went to a school which the kids called a "bubble", but the school itself provided some limited transportation to the local Target where some of this stuff could be purchased. That school also sold a lot of stuff in their "bookstore" which did sell way more than books. It was more expensive, yes, than at Target, but when you factor in the transportation/time issues, probably a wash.

I was thinking of saying, before I was accused of accusing someone of "helicoptering" that it does make a difference if the college is in a small town or a larger city; where the dorms are located re: the stores 'in town'; if there is public transportation and/or the student will have a car or access to one; if the student is going close by or far out of state, and probably some other stuff I haven't thought of.
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Old 08-02-2017, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,218 posts, read 97,355,967 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stripes17 View Post
How true!!!

The day we took our youngest to check in and get settled in at college, we were compelled to act all "no big deal" about it with her, which my wife and I did.

However, it did gnaw at me throughout that day as I was thinking to myself: "well.. this is it, our family will never be the same again".

Since then, she stayed with us one or two summers and over these holidays for the first couple of years. Then things changed (which I know is good). Now that she's out of school, she settled into life into that school town and has been doing well for herself.

So, that check in day at school really was the end of our family life as we knew it.

I'm glad to see the item you posted actually noticed the parents point of view!
Yes, I liked that too! My mom told me that my dad cried when I went off to college, some 30 miles away. I don't remember that; I was too caught up in my own thing.

When our oldest went off to college, she never really lived at home again. She spent the three summers with us, working, but when she graduated and came back to Colorado for grad school, she got her own apartment. After grad school, she went to work and again had her own place. The younger one did live with us after graduation b/c she graduated with no money and no plans. She did eventually move out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
I do think soon-to-be college students need guidance when assembling the items they'll need in their dorm rooms. Many of them will overlook things because they unconscously take things that are shared between family members for granted. They may not recognize that they will need their own versions when living away from home. And as pointed out, colleges can vary dramatically in how accessible students will find shopping. I won't criticize parents for reviewing the packing list and making suggestions. I've certainly done that with my kids, although I've encouraged them to take primary responsibility for shopping. That said, I've enjoyed tagging along with my daughter these past few weeks as she's picked things out. It's been a fun bonding experience and a nice way to end this stage of our mother-daughter relationship and move on to the next one. I have a very different relationship with my daughter than I do with my sons. I'm really going to miss her while she's away at school.
I think that too, and agree with everything you've said. I don't know where anyone got the idea I was accusing anyone of "helicoptering". I do think, as you said early on, that "moms tend to worry too much about outfitting a dorm room and not enough about ensuring that all the legal, financial, & insurance documentation is in place. Look up the dorm packing list issued by the college, hand it to your student, and let him worry about it. He'll ask for help if he needs it. Been there, done that." In these days, it's also easy to order stuff online.

Now my husband, who LOVES tools, was thrilled to see that the packing list for the older DD listed a hammer, screw driver, pliers and a few others. He helped DD assemble a little tool kit. Once when I was visiting her, a friend asked to borrow her hammer.

Last edited by Katarina Witt; 08-02-2017 at 11:45 AM..
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Old 08-02-2017, 11:51 AM
 
Location: The analog world
14,664 posts, read 8,295,983 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
I think that too, and agree with everything you've said. I don't know where anyone got the idea I was accusing anyone of "helicoptering". I do think, as you said early on, that "moms tend to worry too much about outfitting a dorm room and not enough about ensuring that all the legal, financial, & insurance documentation is in place. Look up the dorm packing list issued by the college, hand it to your student, and let him worry about it. He'll ask for help if he needs it. Been there, done that." In these days, it's also easy to order stuff online.

Now my husband, who LOVES tools, was thrilled to see that the packing list actually mentioned a hammer, screw driver, pliers and a few others. He helped DD assemble a little tool kit. Once when I was visiting her, a friend asked to borrow her hammer.
And I still believe that, but I also have enjoyed this time with my daughter, watching her agonize over which bedding to purchase and weighing in with my own, probably off-base opinions, which she for the most part ignored. It was very different with my oldest, who is fiercely independent, so there were no lingering shopping trips to discuss the merits of duvets over quilts. He was a lot like the OP's son and would have been happy to take a sleeping bag and call it good.

There was a link earlier to an Onion article in which a mother and daughter freak out over storage bins. Fortunately, there have been no great blow-ups here, but I could relate, in no small way because there are other things going on in my life that make this time even more poignant. Things change so much when our children leave home for college, and I can certainly understand a mother wanting to arrange things just so before her chick launches from the nest. It's a tender time emotionally.

And, yes, the tool kit. Oh, the conversation my husband and daughter had about multi-tools! I had to leave the room.
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Old 08-02-2017, 12:02 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
70,933 posts, read 62,045,025 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Informed Info View Post
24 days from today my oldest is heading off to college.

Just spent the weekend shopping for him. By myself, b/c he couldn't care less about what his comforter or sheets look like or how much extra "under the bed storage" he doesn't know he needs. He did, however, head off to Staples this evening after he got home from his summer job and bought "desk stuff". You know, tape, a stapler, highlighters, pens, pencils, notebooks, a desk calendar, etc.

Have a fridge, a microwave, a fan, comforter, sheets (2 sets), pillows, towels, shower caddy & all of the "stuff" that goes in to one, hamper, printer, hangers, a small box of cold meds & pain relief meds, etc.

What did you send you kid to college with that he/she didn't need, or you found out that he/she needed & didn't have?

I'm not sure if I'm over-doing it or missing a few things.
Most dorms have kitchen facilities for students to use. It shouldn't be necessary to buy a microwave. Most kids can buy their own over-the-counter meds, as needed. I've never known fans to be necessary, either. Bedding and toiletries are usually all that's needed, and maybe a small fridge. Have you seen the dorm accommodations he'll be assigned to? There may not be room for much stuff.
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Old 08-02-2017, 12:06 PM
 
Location: The analog world
14,664 posts, read 8,295,983 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Most dorms have kitchen facilities for students to use. It shouldn't be necessary to buy a microwave. Most kids can buy their own over-the-counter meds, as needed. I've never known fans to be necessary, either. Bedding and toiletries are usually all that's needed, and maybe a small fridge. Have you seen the dorm accommodations he'll be assigned to? There may not be room for much stuff.
If your student isn't living in an air-conditioned dorm, a fan is a life saver. Both of my kids bought small fans that they positioned on a shelf at the foot of their bed, so they could sleep comfortably. They're also good for creating white noise if your student is a light sleeper.

I suggest going easy on the meds, but a few single-dose packets of pain medication, cough drops, Pepto, and decongestant can be easily tucked into a small first aid kit, which is a nice thing to have on hand. The walk to the infirmary or school store can feel insurmountable for a student feeling under the weather.

Last edited by randomparent; 08-02-2017 at 12:26 PM..
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Old 08-02-2017, 12:31 PM
 
9,383 posts, read 14,705,967 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
What? No!! As a PARENT, you should not ENSURE your child brings any sort of clothing. As someone you are entrusting to live away from home and attend college, you must certainly entrust them to dress properly without your involvement. If they can't, your concerns are much greater than that...
Oh, good grief! If someone else makes a suggestion, its considered useful input. If a parent makes a suggestion, its considered over-parenting. Is it so awful if a parent tries to help out? What's the difference between parental advice, and, say, a supplies list from the college for dorm supplies, clothing, etc? Or maybe some parents just don't to be bothered.....
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Old 08-02-2017, 12:34 PM
 
9,383 posts, read 14,705,967 times
Reputation: 15217
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
If your student isn't living in an air-conditioned dorm, a fan is a life saver. Both of my kids bought small fans that they positioned on a shelf at the foot of their bed, so they could sleep comfortably. They're also good for creating white noise if your student is a light sleeper.

I suggest going easy on the meds, but a few single-dose packets of pain medication, cough drops, Pepto, and decongestant can be easily tucked into a small first aid kit, which is a nice thing to have on hand. The walk to the infirmary or school store can feel insurmountable for a student feeling under the weather.
Yep, I highly suggest the above, especially cough med. Once I had a hacking cough during the night. A knock on the door, it was a girl from down the hall in my dorm, who politely handed me a bottle of cough syrup! I didn't realize my coughing went all the way down the hall, but the others sure did!
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Old 08-02-2017, 01:00 PM
 
6 posts, read 2,637 times
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I'm definitely sent my kids away with more than just the basics. What they found particularly helpful were:
flocked hangers ~ you know, the thin ones the don't take up much room. The dorm closets are small and these were a great space saver.
over the door hooks ~ perfect for hanging up an everyday sweatshirt or damp towels after a shower
a hanging shoe holder with clear pockets ~ they used this to store things like toiletries, med supplies, etc. Kept everything organized and out of the way.

Last edited by partdeux; 08-02-2017 at 01:09 PM..
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Old 08-02-2017, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Raleigh
6,595 posts, read 4,887,502 times
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Quote:
Do 17- & 18-yr-old drink coffee? Why a coffeemaker in the dorm room, when they can get coffee at breakfast, anyway? Why all this unnecessary clutter & gadgetry?
Yes, many of them will drink coffee, or will start in college when they have to pull an all nighter, or when they have an early class/lab. I used the snot out of my Freshman Year coffeemaker. Just make sure the College doesn't have rules regarding what can't be in the dorms. They all have weird rules.

Most of them won't go to breakfast. After the first semester, they're usually loathe to schedule 8:00 AM classes. Don't believe me? Go to a College Caf at 7:15 and see how relatively empty it is.
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