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Old 10-08-2017, 06:49 PM
 
Location: STL area
718 posts, read 350,702 times
Reputation: 1549

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If the parents have their retirement covered and can afford to help, they likely should...if college is a family requirement. If not, the student should.

My husbands parents did not have their retirement covered and paid for his. Huge mistake and they are constantly reliant on us to pay for things.

My parents could afford to help. I got scholarships, loans, and work study.

We have our retirement covered and plenty left over to pay for college, so we will.
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Old 10-08-2017, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,175 posts, read 49,666,397 times
Reputation: 66904
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
Umm, okay? Different cultures hold education to a higher importance. All I can say is that for me, I was going to make sure I got As since it was a real sacrifice to pay for and attend those classes. Would I have still put in the work necessary for all As is mom and dad were paying? Hard to say. I was an adult with adult responsibilities at that point. I saw many of my friends goofing off with the mindset of "Cs get degrees," but I have no idea if it would have been different had they been paying for their own educations.

Parents need to make their own decisions when it comes to who will pay for higher education. In my house, my teens will need to work at least part time to pay for it. I think it's a good introduction to the realities of adult life. Others feel differently and that's perfectly fine. I'd never say someone was wrong for paying or not paying for their child's education. It's not feasible for all families and others simply make different choices. It is what it is.
Apologize.
That came off as more flippant than I wanted it to.
I was dashing something off on my phone. I am sorry.

What I mean to say is that I think it's important to instill the same values with regards to education.
Then you can erase the ubiquitous worry people around here seem to have about people not valuing their education.
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Old 10-08-2017, 08:50 PM
 
Location: Texas
3,686 posts, read 2,823,867 times
Reputation: 6061
My parents did not have the financial resources, so they were unable to help me pay for school. I funded college through a combination of grants, loans and work study, and I funded Grad school with loans. My husband's Father put him through college, but not Med school. I don't think my husband expected his Father to pay for anything past Undergrad, although my FIL could easily have afforded it.

I would be curious what people think about parents continuing to fund higher education when Undergrad is not the terminal degree. How many people who had college paid for by their parents and subsequently went onto graduate or professional school had their parents pay for it? Very few people that we know had parents pay beyond Undergrad, at least to my knowledge.

Last edited by Texas Ag 93; 10-08-2017 at 09:17 PM..
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Old 10-08-2017, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Texas
6,334 posts, read 2,308,473 times
Reputation: 13527
Quote:
Originally Posted by gleamingobscenereader View Post
In a FB group I am apart of, someone brought up the topic of parents paying for their kids college (if you go from 18 to 23/24). It was something about them (parents) wanting to save for their kids college or any kind of schooling past high school.

What got me was the comments. Most of the comments said that since they are adults, their parents should not be paying for it. Even if they have their reasons for wanting to pay for it, the kid should refuse,
I think it's possible these people are just jealous of people who get free college, paid for by their parents.


It's none of their business if someone accepts their parents offer to pay for college. That is between the parents and their son/daughter. It is nobody else's business.

Same thing with weddings. If the parents want to pay, then it's okay for the adult child to accept the offer.


People get jealous of these things. But the fact is, some people have parents who want to help them out. Others do not. That is the reality of life. Not everything is fair.
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Old 10-08-2017, 09:03 PM
 
Location: Texas
6,334 posts, read 2,308,473 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 17thAndK View Post
Simple class envy may well play a role here.
Yep. That's what it is. I call it by it's more basic name: jealousy.
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Old 10-08-2017, 10:12 PM
bjh
Status: "Mostly lucid with occasional clouds of confusion." (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
25,895 posts, read 22,747,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
Your last sentence says a lot. Plus a lot of them grew up in a time where it was possible to work part time/over the summer and pay for college. That's just not true any more for so many people....
Correct. For a very long time.

It has been a hell of a long time since an 18 year old could support him or herself decently in this country. Traditionally worldwide it is the parents' moral duty to get their children to the point they can support themselves. For the past 60-70 years in this country that has meant some form of post high school training, college or vocational. Parents who don't do this are unbelievably selfish. They may well be sentencing their children to a life of poverty. I've seen it. It's not pretty. Wasted talent and potential. Beyond sad.

To some parents their children are jsut a by-product of their bodily functions. Shame on the losers for not caring enough to do what it takes to help their children get a decent start in life.
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Old 10-08-2017, 10:17 PM
 
4,790 posts, read 2,126,161 times
Reputation: 12182
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Yep. That's what it is. I call it by it's more basic name: jealousy.
So with your college education ,your final conclusion is jealousy? Please tell me you have a more rational and realistic view point then this.
Many here expressed realistic circumstances that provided them with a degree ...Beyond a parent bankrolling it.
Since courts already tell divorced parents they must fork over funds for their kids higher education I'm sure it's crippled the single parent trying to adhere.
I do not think a parent needs to be pressured by society to go 50k or more indebt for another adult. As a single parent I instilled good academic values into my kids. At 18, scholarship,and grants were necessary. I feel zero guilt for my son achieving his master's thru taking a job,saving and applying himself. I contributed for his books ,meals and resident hall. But no I am not jealous if other parents paid up. That was their choice...Not an expectation.
Nor am I jealous of the college graduate ...Because at my age..I have little reason to carry jealousy. I got out of the one upmanship mentality .
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Old 10-08-2017, 11:06 PM
 
Location: Texas
6,334 posts, read 2,308,473 times
Reputation: 13527
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
So with your college education ,your final conclusion is jealousy? Please tell me you have a more rational and realistic view point then this.
Many here expressed realistic circumstances that provided them with a degree ...Beyond a parent bankrolling it..
In the first place, telling someone they should pay for their own education is none of your business. If you want to tell your own children that, fine. But you can't tell someone else that because it's totally, one-hundred percent none of your business if their parents finance their education.

I also never said children would not be able to pay for their own education or that it was impossible to do so by getting other sources of financial aid.

And yes, I totally, one hundred percent believe lots of people out there are jealous of those who get their educations funded for them by their parents. That's why they rant at others about "you should pay your own way". It's none of their business.
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Old 10-08-2017, 11:30 PM
 
9,448 posts, read 14,984,209 times
Reputation: 15386
Quote:
Originally Posted by 17thAndK View Post
Simple class envy may well play a role here.
^^^ITA
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Old 10-08-2017, 11:31 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
20,746 posts, read 37,379,135 times
Reputation: 20721
Simple... old school.

You want to go to school, (or do anything else after age of majority) Varies by state, but usually 18

Figure it out

Many, MANY options. (Lots more than there were 40 yrs ago)

1) Employer
2) Military
3) Indentured to a "skill / Apprenticeship"
4) Self funded (Scholarships, Work Studies, Savings, investments, jobs, inheritance, relatives)
5) School funded (some schools are really desiring to get QUALITY students, it happens!!!)
6) Self employed / having someone ELSE work the tasks and fund your EDU
7) Buying income property (during college) and renting to college peers. (Paid for my kids edu + 1 yr travel + grad school) and they learned A LOT from managing their own investment props.

...

999) Parents (EEK)


HUGE financial opportunity cost + RISK for parents to fund.
1) Johnny doesn't finish
2) Johnny changes major many times... (yes even past age 40!)
3) Quality of learning / 'value' of EDU may be significantly degraded. (Trust me if the $$ are coming from your pocket, you will demand more of School, profs, courses, learning's, financial aid, opportunities, placement, peers, alumni... and YOUR future) i.e you are necessitated to engage in a timely and productive use of your investment!
4) Consider how much further along parents will be if they invest the college money at a reasonable investment rate (10 - 17% is pretty common in true intentional and well managed investments) and pay interest deferred loans AFTER graduation WITH DEFLATED $$$ (if they so desire).

Lots of choices, but... age 18... POOF, you are GONE (and well should be)
No bed
no car
no insurance
no food
No clothes,

DONE!
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