U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Education > Colleges and Universities
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-06-2017, 06:51 PM
 
137 posts, read 60,300 times
Reputation: 87

Advertisements

In a FB group I am apart of, someone brought up the topic of parents paying for their kids college (if you go from 18 to 23/24). It was something about them (parents) wanting to save for their kids college or any kind of schooling past high school.

What got me was the comments. Most of the comments said that since they are adults, their parents should not be paying for it. Even if they have their reasons for wanting to pay for it, the kid should refuse, even if that means moving out just to not get the money (if parents insist to where its pestering them). Up until they turn 18, the parents have to do stuff financially for them, but once you turn 18 they basically have to cut them off, and if parents offer or insist, then the kid has to refuse. Does not matter if its whole thing or part of it. Also, they also claimed that you should want to rather go into debt by paying for it yourself rather than letting parents pay (even if parents want to / insist / etc).

It only got me because I never heard people talk like that and I went to college, and graduated recently. Was supposed to graduate in 201 but had to go longer, so graduated January 2016. Never once have I heard people talk like that. I only heard people say (1) their parents wanted to pay for college for them (entirely)
(2) their parents couldn't afford to pay whole amount, so they gave the kid whatever they could afford (3) their parents paid off entire college for them but the kid had to pay some of it back once they graduated and started working (whatever amount was that they agreed to). Most people were saying their parents wanted to pay for college. Of course I only know at school I went to.

What am I missing here? Apparently I am missing something unless the people who commented (which was practically all of them) are just weird people, trolls, stupid people (don't like calling people stupid, but there are literally stupid people), etc?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-07-2017, 06:38 AM
 
5,765 posts, read 3,047,758 times
Reputation: 15110
Your last sentence says a lot. Plus a lot of them grew up in a time where it was possible to work part time/over the summer and pay for college. That's just not true any more for so many people.


But here's the thing. It doesn't really matter because as far as the FAFSA calculations are concerned, parents assets and income are included as being available to pay for college. Whether they are willing or not is irrelevant. That means financial aid is determined based on the parents much greater assets and wealth than an 19 year old students part time job. Whether it should be this way or not doesn't matter; it is. So parents are really just handicapping their kids with unrealistic expectations based on their knowledge from 30 years ago or from never having been themselves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-07-2017, 06:44 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,253 posts, read 49,809,717 times
Reputation: 67088
In my parents' culture of origin, family helps family with education as much as possible (bc of family values and the enormous importance placed on education).

For some reason, not having to pay for their own schooling does not magically make the kids less grateful or promote poor performance through "lack of appreciation."

Go figure.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-07-2017, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,091 posts, read 3,069,394 times
Reputation: 8623
Facebook is filled with morons who feed off of each other and talk about things they have no clue about. Look at the comments section of any news story and it will be filled with idiots who can barely put together a coherent sentence. I really wouldn't take much stock in what is being said on Facebook.

People have all different views on paying for college. I don't know anyone who thinks an 18-year-old is automatically ready to take full financial responsibility for him- or herself. That's absurd. My son is nearly 17 and he's still very much in the "learning how money works" phase, which is normal. I would not expect him to be working full-time and paying for college as well as all of his living expenses in a year.

That being said, I do think there is value in young adults helping to pay for as much of their education as they can. I paid cash for my classes when I was 19/20. I was also living on my own with my fiancee/husband and I worked full-time, as did he. I only took one or two courses at a time, though; I couldn't afford to go full-time. I'm actually back in college and a grant is paying for most of it. I do think that paying for your own education helps you take it more seriously. I had a 4.0 in those classes that I paid for. I don't know if I'd have taken it as seriously had my parents been footing the bill, to be honest.

My son isn't sure if he wants to go to college. We will help him, but he will have to chip in. That's just how it is. My daughter (a freshman in high school) is eyeing pricey schools that there's no way we'd be able to afford. So if that's still what she wants to do in a couple of years, we'll help her maximize every opportunity out there to avoid loans as much as possible.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-08-2017, 08:58 AM
 
120 posts, read 42,337 times
Reputation: 195
The comments are coming from people that have parents that couldnt pay for their college. They think it's unfair that Billy's parents could afford to pay for him but they had to come up with the money on their own. Take out student loans. End up in debt. Some have to pay interest on their loans. So college is more expensive for them. And this makes some people mad. To deal with it they try to make people that have parents that pay for them feel bad about it.

And it looks like it's working with you.
It's no ones business how you pay for school.
And there is no reason for you to feel bad about your parents paying for college.
Each person that said "if a parent offers to pay you should refuse and live on the street" or whatever has never had a parent offer to pay for their college.

Some of the comments may also be from deadbeat type parents that do not want to pay for their kids to go to college. So selfish. If they can't afford to send their kids to college why did they have kids if they can't afford them? And in the eighteen years that they had them why didn't they bother to come up with a plan to make some money to send their kid to college?

Your parents put money aside for you so you wouldn't have to suffer or stress out about how you will pay for college. Because they want you to do well. It would have been rude of you to refuse that gift.

Just because others weren't given the same gift as you doesn't mean that you have to throw yours out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-08-2017, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Fairfax County, VA
1,387 posts, read 602,948 times
Reputation: 2723
Simple class envy may well play a role here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-08-2017, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,253 posts, read 49,809,717 times
Reputation: 67088
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
I do think that paying for your own education helps you take it more seriously. I had a 4.0 in those classes that I paid for..
Doesn't seem to be a problem for a lot of asian people.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-08-2017, 11:49 AM
 
Location: WI
2,820 posts, read 3,065,687 times
Reputation: 4815
Frankly, if my kid’s not taking his education seriously just because I’m paying for it...I’d be looking at what when wrong long before sending him/her off to college. If you can’t trust your kid not to squander away thousands of his parents dollars, there’s more going on than who’s writing out the checks.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-08-2017, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,091 posts, read 3,069,394 times
Reputation: 8623
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Doesn't seem to be a problem for a lot of asian people.
Umm, okay? Different cultures hold education to a higher importance. All I can say is that for me, I was going to make sure I got As since it was a real sacrifice to pay for and attend those classes. Would I have still put in the work necessary for all As is mom and dad were paying? Hard to say. I was an adult with adult responsibilities at that point. I saw many of my friends goofing off with the mindset of "Cs get degrees," but I have no idea if it would have been different had they been paying for their own educations.

Parents need to make their own decisions when it comes to who will pay for higher education. In my house, my teens will need to work at least part time to pay for it. I think it's a good introduction to the realities of adult life. Others feel differently and that's perfectly fine. I'd never say someone was wrong for paying or not paying for their child's education. It's not feasible for all families and others simply make different choices. It is what it is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-08-2017, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Sandpoint, Idaho
2,880 posts, read 5,075,808 times
Reputation: 3020
Quote:
Originally Posted by gleamingobscenereader View Post
In a FB group I am apart of, someone brought up the topic of parents paying for their kids college (if you go from 18 to 23/24). It was something about them (parents) wanting to save for their kids college or any kind of schooling past high school.

What got me was the comments. Most of the comments said that since they are adults, their parents should not be paying for it. Even if they have their reasons for wanting to pay for it, the kid should refuse, even if that means moving out just to not get the money (if parents insist to where its pestering them). Up until they turn 18, the parents have to do stuff financially for them, but once you turn 18 they basically have to cut them off, and if parents offer or insist, then the kid has to refuse. Does not matter if its whole thing or part of it. Also, they also claimed that you should want to rather go into debt by paying for it yourself rather than letting parents pay (even if parents want to / insist / etc).

It only got me because I never heard people talk like that and I went to college, and graduated recently. Was supposed to graduate in 201 but had to go longer, so graduated January 2016. Never once have I heard people talk like that. I only heard people say (1) their parents wanted to pay for college for them (entirely)
(2) their parents couldn't afford to pay whole amount, so they gave the kid whatever they could afford (3) their parents paid off entire college for them but the kid had to pay some of it back once they graduated and started working (whatever amount was that they agreed to). Most people were saying their parents wanted to pay for college. Of course I only know at school I went to.

What am I missing here? Apparently I am missing something unless the people who commented (which was practically all of them) are just weird people, trolls, stupid people (don't like calling people stupid, but there are literally stupid people), etc?
I am paying for college for my kids--up to the amount charged by their instate land grant university minus in state scholarships I expect them to earn. I also expect them to major in something "real." Thus ends my parental commitment to them.

If they want to go to a better university or out of state, fine, as long as you earned a scholarship to go there. Student loans do not apply--I will not submit a FAFSA form.

They are expected to bust their butts in high school and at university to justify my expenses.

If they lollygag in high school, then the offer to pay for college is withdrawn, Although I will consider paying for community college.

If they get into a top private school, then depending on what it is and what they will study, I would considering bumping up my contribution as long as they busted their butts and earned significant merit scholarships.

S.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Education > Colleges and Universities
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top