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I am currently a sophomore in college and am heading back to school for my second semester this coming Wednesday. I am excited to have a routine and start my new classes, but I am not excited to return to the dorms. My college is 45 mins away, so I can come home whenever I want, but I generally keep it to one weekend a month. I have a great group of friends at college and even transferred here midway through freshman year and love my decision to transfer, but no matter where I go to college, it just doesn't come close to the comfort of home. It does not help that I have 7 roommates that I barely know and are older than me and am also an introvert with this living situation and value my private time which I don't get. I hang out with my friends very often at school and am in a few great clubs, but while I am having fun with my activities, I always think to myself how great it would be after everything is over for the day to go home and sleep in my own bed with my own TV and everything. Sleeping in my bed in my suite is just not the same. I also have a great group of high school friends that I hang out with at home all the time, and even though I love my college friends, I prefer hanging out with the high school group. They are more fun and more laid back than my college friends. If it helps, the high school friends all live at different colleges as well. I also love the area my college is in, however, I still do wish I was home, especially on Friday and Saturday nights. I have had a great month at home, which puts me in a comfortable rut that is very hard to get out of. On the way back to my old college after last winter break (I transferred in April), my dad and I stopped for dinner and I couldn't even eat my meal because of how stressed/anxious I was about returning. This time, I do not feel dread but just sadness and could easily stay at home another month and/or commute. Next year, I am more than likely living with just one friend in an off-campus, non-university apartment, which I'm sure I'll feel more at home in, but for some reason, dorming is just not my thing. I could easily commute to this school (45 mins wouldn't bother me, I enjoy driving), but I am living there because my parents don't want me making that commute and because I knew living there, at least for the first year/year and a half, would help me make more friends, and it has. If I don't live off campus with my friend next year, I'd like to commute, and I definitely want to highly consider commuting for my senior year. So anyway, how do I adjust to going back next week? I love this school and know I will be fine, but my main hunch is it gets overwhelming being around so many people all the time when I enjoy my social time but want to return to a solitary environment and I do miss the little things such as watching football with my dad and driving my car.
I have no good answers for you other than it sounds like you're just going to have to try to suck it up & adjust (however slowly or quickly you can manage) like you did after a full summer of living at home.
There aren't that many weeks left in the school year & you'll have Spring Break/Easter Recess in March.
You should probably seriously consider just living at home and commuting for your Jr. & Sr. years.
I have no good answers for you other than it sounds like you're just going to have to try to suck it up & adjust (however slowly or quickly you can manage) like you did after a full summer of living at home.
There aren't that many weeks left in the school year & you'll have Spring Break/Easter Recess in March.
You should probably seriously consider just living at home and commuting for your Jr. & Sr. years.
Thanks for the vagueness, but I guess it makes sense. I was hoping for a more informative answer, especially due to your username, but whatever.
Last edited by xxblue100; 01-10-2018 at 08:27 PM..
Thanks for the vagueness, but I guess it makes sense. I was hoping for a more informative answer, but whatever I guess.
You have posted a couple of threads asking about how you should handle/deal with your situation-college choice, Winter break, dorms. You sound unhappy throughout those posts and push back on sincerely offered thoughts. To be honest: in many cases, it sounds like a pity party and a case of first world problems.
I don’t like going to work every day, but I like money and what it buys. You may dislike college and the environment-but you’ll like the education and opportunities it gives you. Ultimately, I submit you have to learn to deal with your situation to get to those positive outcomes, or come to the conclusion the outcome isn’t worth it to you (and leave). It’s an intensely personal choice and nobody can make it for you, but if you think everyone is optimally happy in college, you’re not looking at the other students clearly.
You have posted a couple of threads asking about how you should handle/deal with your situation-college choice, Winter break, dorms. You sound unhappy throughout those posts and push back on sincerely offered thoughts. To be honest: in many cases, it sounds like a pity party and a case of first world problems.
I don’t like going to work every day, but I like money and what it buys. You may dislike college and the environment-but you’ll like the education and opportunities it gives you. Ultimately, I submit you have to learn to deal with your situation to get to those positive outcomes, or come to the conclusion the outcome isn’t worth it to you (and leave). It’s an intensely personal choice and nobody can make it for you, but if you think everyone is optimally happy in college, you’re not looking at the other students clearly.
I know. And I know things can't stay the same forever, but I miss my high school life. Simplicity, coming home every day, lunchtime with the same people, more of a routine, etc. A lot of my friends feel the same way.
Seven roommates! Yikes! No dorm life isn't for everyone. I figure the main purpose is to make you appreciate how much better your life is once you don't have to live in one. Though I have to say, if I hadn't lived in a dorm for awhile, I wouldn't have made the friends that I did.
It's been many decades since I lived in a dorm, but I can relate since I'm also an introvert who needs lots of alone time. Junior year, I transferred to a big state university and had to live in a dorm fall semester since I had no car, no funds for my own apartment, knew no one there, etc. It was hellish. The dorm room was even tinier than the one at my previous college, something I didn't think was humanly possible. The bathrooms were communal -- a couple dozen of us shared one bathroom with four toilet and shower stalls. I loathed the lack of privacy. Every time I went home, having an entire house to walk around in seemed incredibly luxurious and made going back to a tiny cell that much worse.
I coped by finding alone time outside of the dorm room. I spent a lot of time in the library. In nice weather, I took long walks, went downtown to shop, and did homework in parks. I got together with friends one on one for meals or coffee. It helped that I made friends with people who had their own apartments, since going there provided a respite. I understand that it's hellish with that many roommates, but it's just one more semester. You can do it!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgiaTransplant
You have posted a couple of threads asking about how you should handle/deal with your situation-college choice, Winter break, dorms. ... To be honest: in many cases, it sounds like a pity party and a case of first world problems.
I don’t like going to work every day, but I like money and what it buys. You may dislike college and the environment-but you’ll like the education and opportunities it gives you. Ultimately, I submit you have to learn to deal with your situation to get to those positive outcomes, or come to the conclusion the outcome isn’t worth it to you (and leave). It’s an intensely personal choice and nobody can make it for you, but if you think everyone is optimally happy in college, you’re not looking at the other students clearly.
http://www.city-data.com/forum/50550802-post23.html
Time to Move-On... Get-er-Done (and get on with life)
Very, very easy. (today is easier to get it resolved than tomorrow)
Tho you 'perceive' it will be different... next yr will NOT be different enough to offer you a solution.
We all respond differently..
Some succeed by focusing on exercise (spend 3-5 hrs / day at the gym or pool, or a bicycle...)
Some go drinking (other vices)
I went and got a job (3 of them at the same time (age 15 to age 28 (while schooling / college FT and growing a family)))
No time to worry, no time to complain, no time to waste
Money to burn (30+ yrs later)
I bought my first home at age 19 (for my parents to live in).
Then.. I bought another, and another (while still working 3 jobs...)
Work income and school are very minimal 'times in your life. This too will pass, then you will be forced to deal with LIFE (it ain't always pretty).
Thanks for the vagueness, but I guess it makes sense. I was hoping for a more informative answer, but whatever I guess.
Sorry I can't be of any help.
If living with 7 other people in a suite is part of the issue, why don't you try to get in contact with housing the day you get back and see if any singles or doubles opened up this semester? Kids do transfer, as you obviously know, or drop out or graduate mid-year.
I know. And I know things can't stay the same forever, but I miss my high school life. Simplicity, coming home every day, lunchtime with the same people, more of a routine, etc. A lot of my friends feel the same way.
My earlier post stands. Either choose to take a break, and get that simplicity-but no progress-back, or go for the gusto and be unhappy now but confident you are setting yourself up for a better life late.
For what it’s worth, I left a more rigorous/good school very early. It just wasn’t for me at that time. I went to a state school, near home. For ME, fantastic choice at the time-but now that I’m much older, I live nowhere near home and want nothing to do with those people. I sometimes wonder ‘what if’, but you get one ride and it’s worked out well for me.
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