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Old 01-25-2019, 04:29 PM
 
3 posts, read 3,432 times
Reputation: 14

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I was already starting to deal with anxiety, stress and my my mind not being in the right place. It's a weird feeling. Being 29 years old and constantly pursuing success just got to me. I decided to put an end to it. Part of me is disappointed because I feel like I misrepresented minorities but at the same time, I am mentally drained.

I am fortunate to make over 6 figures and it took weekends out of me for two years to self learn in demand tech skills to get where I am. I just wanted to mentally slow down and enjoy life a bit more. I no longer had the inspiration to pursue these goals. I wanted to go home, rest my head, wake up pursue some things that matter life. Not code, not to worry about grades, not too worry about spending time in school that I could be pursuing living life.

The 25-26 year old me would have dedicated 100 percent time into, the 29 year old realized that I am doing too much. Enough credentials chasing. I feel bad but at the same time, I feel free.

Last edited by justanotherguy305; 01-25-2019 at 04:58 PM..
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Old 01-25-2019, 05:08 PM
 
12,103 posts, read 23,259,223 times
Reputation: 27236
Most people don't make your money, especially at 29. You don't owe anyone anything. Enjoy the fruits of your labor.
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Old 01-26-2019, 12:13 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,183 posts, read 107,774,599 times
Reputation: 116077
OP, you were in a PhD program? If you're already doing well, what was your goal in continuing your education?

Congrats on getting into a top grad program, btw. You sound very bright an accomplished, already.
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Old 01-26-2019, 03:52 PM
 
3 posts, read 3,432 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
OP, you were in a PhD program? If you're already doing well, what was your goal in continuing your education?

Congrats on getting into a top grad program, btw. You sound very bright an accomplished, already.
It's a CS masters program. I self learned my way into Senior Cyber Security position. I had apply to the C.S program before that but with me working in Cyber Security, it's no longer my intention to go the C.S so I requested a withdrawal one week into the course.
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Old 01-26-2019, 11:03 PM
 
19,767 posts, read 18,050,613 times
Reputation: 17250
Quote:
Originally Posted by justanotherguy305 View Post
I was already starting to deal with anxiety, stress and my my mind not being in the right place. It's a weird feeling. Being 29 years old and constantly pursuing success just got to me. I decided to put an end to it. Part of me is disappointed because I feel like I misrepresented minorities but at the same time, I am mentally drained.

I am fortunate to make over 6 figures and it took weekends out of me for two years to self learn in demand tech skills to get where I am. I just wanted to mentally slow down and enjoy life a bit more. I no longer had the inspiration to pursue these goals. I wanted to go home, rest my head, wake up pursue some things that matter life. Not code, not to worry about grades, not too worry about spending time in school that I could be pursuing living life.

The 25-26 year old me would have dedicated 100 percent time into, the 29 year old realized that I am doing too much. Enough credentials chasing. I feel bad but at the same time, I feel free.
You sound at peace with the decision.
My hope is you left on good terms with the opportunity to pick up the pieces later should you desire. If not so be it, chin up and move on with a smile on your face. If yes just know I finished my Ph.D at 53. My wife refers to my Ph.D journey as my 30 year "walkabout."

May you enjoy fair winds and following seas.
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Old 01-27-2019, 01:03 AM
 
3 posts, read 3,432 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by EDS_ View Post
You sound at peace with the decision.
My hope is you left on good terms with the opportunity to pick up the pieces later should you desire. If not so be it, chin up and move on with a smile on your face. If yes just know I finished my Ph.D at 53. My wife refers to my Ph.D journey as my 30 year "walkabout."

May you enjoy fair winds and following seas.

Think that's it for me. Going to focus on my job, possibly get a part time job and focus on retirement on gunning for retirement before ageism in the work place hits me.
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Old 01-27-2019, 02:43 AM
 
Location: Tulsa
2,230 posts, read 1,713,581 times
Reputation: 2434
Nothing is more important than your health, including mental health.

Luckily, a master's degree isn't required for your career.
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Old 01-27-2019, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Indianapolis, East Side
3,067 posts, read 2,393,535 times
Reputation: 8441
"It's insane to risk what you have and need for something you don't really need. You will not be way happier if you double your net worth." Warren Buffett
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Old 01-30-2019, 12:35 PM
 
4,950 posts, read 2,705,499 times
Reputation: 6945
Quote:
Originally Posted by justanotherguy305 View Post
Think that's it for me. Going to focus on my job, possibly get a part time job and focus on retirement on gunning for retirement before ageism in the work place hits me.
Yes, prepare for retirement as best as you can. Ageism is certainly there, especially in the IT world. Good luck.
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Old 02-01-2019, 04:37 PM
 
Location: New York NY
5,516 posts, read 8,761,327 times
Reputation: 12707
You did the right thing by leaving. And if you are black or Hispanic (you wrote that you did not want to "misrepresent" minorities) you definitely did the right thing. It is bad for anyone to suffer through schooling they hate, at the risk to their mental well-being. But I believe that's doubly true for most minorities of any ethnicity. You do your group (let alone yourself) no favor by having a mental breakdown at school -- which could easily lead to some people further stigmatizing the group and making it harder for the next one who applies.

Unfortunately, some students and faculty will not understand that a minority student has as much right as anyone else to be unhappy at a top program. They will believe that they have done you a favor in the first place by admitting you, and that your only option is to be eternally grateful. So these types will be furious when you leave, no matter what the reason is.

To folks like that I know what to say. And you do too!
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