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They should go wherever is the best fit for them, ... and they should have some skin in the game.
I have been at the community college, and it was definitely a learning experience. I have been at the flagship state school, it was a learning experience. I have been at multiple elite top 10 private universities. They were learning experiences for different reasons.
Why does your child need to live on-campus? Why do they need a meal plan? Why do they need a membership for rec activities? When I was an undergraduate, I saved money by taking classes at both the public flagship university and the community college. I did not live on campus, but I could walk outside my building and throw a paper airplane into a parking garage owned by the university. My building did not have parking spaces for everybody, and all the units except three of them had to share bathrooms. I did not have a meal plan, I bought and cooked my own food, ... oftentimes toward the end of the semester I would get free food from classmates that needed to use up their meal plan. Rec membership? The kids are supposed to be at the university to exercise, but not at the rec center, ... They're supposed to exercise their minds, ... Again, it's supposed to be a time of transition and a learning experience, better to leave the nest in most cases, and definitely have some "skin in the game", and learn to make sacrifices, judge costs, have motivation for a better life, etc.
I think that you're on the right track. Living at home for as long as possible and going to a local college is indeed a cost saver.
I also lived at home for my entire Bachelor's degree program at Michigan State and enjoyed it. I visited dorm rooms on occasion and didn't like what I saw. There was too much on-campus drinking, partying, and time-wasting. I didn't have that at home. It was quieter at home and more conducive for better studying and less interruptions. I had the whole house to study in, from a large desk in my bedroom to using the dining room table to spread out my books and maps (Geography major). Better than studying in a tiny dorm room that you have to share with one or two other guys or have to go to the library.
Your kids should appreciate what you are doing for them - paying for college. That is a big deal. Not every parent can afford it or wants to pay for their kid's college costs. My father certainly did not pay. Why pay college costs for a loser who won't succeed in life? But I got a full-ride scholarship after doing well on my SATs and this "loser" didn't pay any tuition or for books and got a free ride anyway. LOL!
There is a difference in attitude on saving money when someone pays your way, versus when you have to pay for things yourself. For the latter, you tend to be more frugal. I hope that your kids appreciate what you are doing for them and that they see the wisdom of what you are doing more clearly.
I think some are missing my point- or I didn't explain well enough. Due to the cost, where there are studies that the cost of universities have quadrupled the rate of inflation over the last 30 years, we have to be smart as a society about where we are spending money and the decisions we make.
We have to be smart with our money and teach our kids to avoid as much debt as possible. This isn't the 1960's, 70's, 80's or 90's in regards to cost. Its a lot more today in regards to not only tuition but all the other things I listed above.
Trust me this isn't a parent telling his kids to live at home so that you have to obey my rules. When I lived at my parents house while in college I was gone everyday from 7am to 9pm (many times later) during the week and out every weekend night. I really could do whatever I wanted and I loved it. I had a part time job and my parents did make me pay for extracurricular activities that I wanted to do.
College is about learning and expanding your mind. It's not about, in my opinion, wasting money or throwing it down the drain, i.e: getting wasted every night. I don't know why our society equates the young adult age as having to sew your oats getting plastered every night in a frat, sorority or in some other club; I guess I just have a very different perspective. You don't have to live in a dorm or apartment to have a good experience or to experience being "out on your own".
Our life is all the decisions we make. Yes, we will make mistakes. But if you can limit it at a young age and learn the value of money by avoiding as much debt as possible I believe you are on the right track.
We told our kids when they first started looking at colleges how much we would pay- the price of in state college. Then I researched like crazy colleges that gave good merit money and had the majors they wanted. They knew they would have to take out loans for the gap. Student loans. Each of them ended up in a private college 6- 15 hours away from home in different parts of the country. They worked while in college and on vacation. They all paid off their loans within a few years of graduation and are working and supporting themselves in their field.
Finding the jobs they are in was not a straightforward path for my older two. My middle child graduated in the midst of the recession and couldn't find a job right away so he worked crap jobs while living at home. That motivated him to get the good job he has in NYC. My oldest child taught for three years in three different locations, including overseas, and then decided to go back to college for her masters. She paid for most of that herself and was able to find a job in her field immediately upon graduation.
My kids were intent on living away from home after high school. Not just in their own space, but in a different part of the country with brand new people. Two of my kids knew exactly no one at their colleges before they left. Every family is different, with different finances and priorities.
Finding the jobs they are in was not a straightforward path for my older two. My middle child graduated in the midst of the recession and couldn't find a job right away so he worked crap jobs while living at home. That motivated him to get the good job he has in NYC. My oldest child taught for three years in three different locations, including overseas, and then decided to go back to college for her masters. She paid for most of that herself and was able to find a job in her field immediately upon graduation.
"Finding the jobs they are in was not a straightforward path" is pretty much true for this whole generation.
Since 2008, college graduates struggle to find meaningful employment. My daughter started college in 2010. Her older classmates graduated college and found themselves back to their summer minimum wage job. Not every classmate, but enough graduates with high GPA, internships and college leadership position (like college newspaper editor) were significantly underemployed. Rather than work minimum wages, many went to graduate school.
We are in uncharted waters here:
With the pandemic internships went online. Students no longer have limited competition with their classmates for a position, but in the online world, they have to compete with every student in the whole country. A student in Washington DC now competes with students located in New York, Boston or Miami for a local internship at a Washington DC company. Probably, the critical first job is also going to have the same competition until people return to the workplace.
Again, there are few straightforward paths anywhere now.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Main Point? (Just asking, it's not clear to me)
Subject = College is very expensive? (Tuition, experience, housing?. opportunity costs?, life choices that may DESTROY the rest of your life...?) We have to be smart with our money and teach our kids to avoid as much debt as possible.
My own kids lament the opportunity costs of College, and all doubt the monetary and time value. All finished with honors, and will return to edu at some point (4 generations of educators).
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeminoleTom
I think some are missing my point- or I didn't explain well enough. Due to the cost, where there are studies that the cost of universities have quadrupled the rate of inflation over the last 30 years, we have to be smart as a society about where we are spending money and the decisions we make.
We have to be smart with our money and teach our kids to avoid as much debt as possible. This isn't the 1960's, 70's, 80's or 90's in regards to cost. Its a lot more today in regards to not only tuition but all the other things I listed above....
College is about learning and expanding your mind. ... You don't have to live in a dorm or apartment to have a good experience or to experience being "out on your own".
Our life is all the decisions we make. Yes, we will make mistakes. But if you can limit it at a young age and learn the value of money by avoiding as much debt as possible I believe you are on the right track.
For all it is very different and quite varied in cost interpretation and implementation.
45 yrs ago...
My STEM degree tuition cost $605/yr (4.5% of Starting annual wages for my field)
Currently $9,152.00/yr (9.7% of Starting annual wages for same field) at same school which is rated at 31% above national average tuition) or... I can currently go to state next door (70 miles between U's) for 5% / annual starting wage in tuition. Yes... in 2021. Same cost as 1976 as % of starting wage in my technical / professional field.
Housing?
very regional dependent...
My kids did various options, but generally shared a 4bdrm apartment with 3 other college roommates, ~ $400/month + food and utilities.
I bought my own house at age 19 (My kids built their own homes at age 14... good financial responsibility training and FAFSA did not count it against them, nor their $22k+ in Roth IRAs they had accumulated by age 17).
Reasonable solution... help student buy a 4plex / MF home and rent it out (good lessons in financial management at an opportune age). Friends who did that covered college with rental income, and grad school with equity gain @ sale + a yr of 'free' Europe travel.
Food... my kids already had been doing our shopping and providing for our entire family on $100 / month, so living away from home they could spend whatever they wanted (could afford). They love to cook and got by very inexpensively. But lots of Ramen during end of school year. They knew where to get FREE food on campus, especially in spring during hosting preview trips.
Transportation;
Since my kids had jobs and were away from home, they drove a lot (~2000 miles / month). They each had Diesel VWs (50 mpg on free homebrew fuel) and cars were bought at a towing auction for under $100/ each. (teenage insurance was $100/ month (which they had to cover themselves).
"Skin-in-the-game", Mine were all in... 100% of school (books and tuition) / living / transportation was their baby. They knew that going in, it was really NO PROBLEM. They had great jobs and employers and more than adequate savings ($100k+), should they have chosen to tap it (which they did not).
Everyone is different... for us..."at a young age and learn the value of money" Completed by age 12.
I had the tough lessons far before age 12, since I was a farm kid, and got paid in calves... some of which died or got sick + 24 months to realizing any profit (if any existed). Also a farm kid during the era of cattle mutilations. That was something significant to worry about, but I never lost one to that scenario. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...I-farmers.html https://www.history.com/news/ufos-al...tte-cunningham
I learned a lot of financial skills using my 4H project book... (from age 8)
My kids also had their own businesses before going to college (at age 16), for FREE in our state. (instead of HS)
Last edited by StealthRabbit; 04-01-2021 at 12:42 PM..
I don't know if my kids will listen to me but after reading and seeing how expensive all the costs are I would highly encourage them to live at home for the first two years and attend a local college or junior college. I have one that is a senior in high school, has offers from several schools. First- in-state is a no brainer. I've at least convinced my oldest of that. Second, the "other" costs are brutal-- between living on campus, the meal plan, rec activities, man...... live at home and then transfer if you want after the first two years. Just thinking and trying to avoid debt.
I lived at home 3 of the 4 years of college. I enjoyed that more than living on a campus. I know everyone's situation is different though.
Thoughts?
It's a no brainer. If you can't afford it don't do it. I went to a state university all four years which was a 20 minute drive from my house and lived at home. I got free room and board at home and paid for everything else with student loans and part time work during the school year and full time work in the summer. By my junior year I was earning enough at work to rent a small apartment on my own close to campus. Once I was on my own I worked in the dorm kitchen cleaning the grills after the kitchen closed at night which gave me a small salary and allowed me to eat in the dorm cafeteria for free.
I worked a variety of student jobs, about 12 to 20 hrs. a week depending on my schedule during the school year, and full time during the summers. I participated in crew one year, fencing one year, and the Air Force ROTC three years. I dated, had a girlfriend and friends to hang out with. And I got wasted a lot of nights but never missed a class or work, and got my BA in 4 years. I believe I had a better college experience than all the kids who lived in the dorms, who I sort of pitied. When it came time for my son to go to college, he went to city college all four years for his BA and did the same, even moving out of the house on his own for his junior and senior years. My grandson starts college in September and will be doing the same.
It's probably different for rich people with connections who are groomed and guided to the top ranks, but for me the degree was just a ticket to job interviews that required a degree to apply. Once on the job it didn't really matter where anyone went to college, or what grades they got. What we accomplished was up to us.
There is more to college than just buying a degree to put on your resume. Depending on the choices you make, you may learn a lot more in the dorm room than you will in the classroom.
Another part of college learning is learning to live on your own, take care of yourself, share space with others, etc. A lot of people who do not go to colleges never learn the basics of living, how things work, how to be courteous to other people. they ar enot going to listen to mom & dad (or mom and dad cannot teach them) and they never really learn.
I went into the Air Force at age 17. You learn all that stuff REAL fast in Basic Training. And it's Free
"Finding the jobs they are in was not a straightforward path" is pretty much true for this whole generation.
Since 2008, college graduates struggle to find meaningful employment. My daughter started college in 2010. Her older classmates graduated college and found themselves back to their summer minimum wage job. Not every classmate, but enough graduates with high GPA, internships and college leadership position (like college newspaper editor) were significantly underemployed. Rather than work minimum wages, many went to graduate school.
We are in uncharted waters here:
With the pandemic internships went online. Students no longer have limited competition with their classmates for a position, but in the online world, they have to compete with every student in the whole country. A student in Washington DC now competes with students located in New York, Boston or Miami for a local internship at a Washington DC company. Probably, the critical first job is also going to have the same competition until people return to the workplace.
Again, there are few straightforward paths anywhere now.
Do you possibly live in an economically depressed area?
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