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How do you feel, as a parent? Do you internalize it, and give yourself credit for raising a child who accomplished that?
Why wouldn't a parent be proud of their child's accomplishment? I consider becoming academically and financially successful to be a matter of survival in this world.
Either you get ahead or you get left behind. That is the choice we have.
Be proud of your child's accomplishment but don't be like a former co-worker I had who, upon meeting someone for the first time, found a way to work it into the first few minutes of conversation that she had a son attending Yale.
Let's say that your daughter is getting a Ph.D. in electrical engineering from MIT. Or she's attending Wharton, the University of Pennsylvania's business school. Or your child goes to Oxford, Cambridge or Stanford. Or anywhere that gets the reaction, "wow, that's a great school!"
How do you feel, as a parent? Do you internalize it, and give yourself credit for raising a child who accomplished that?
Thanks.
I'd be proud of any diploma they received from any school. I wouldn't take credit for it. It's their lives. They are not an extension of me. The diploma from any school is no guarantee of success. The real test starts when they are day one on the job. I'd be more concerned that they are good people. A lot of ivy league graduates do well in their careers but fail at being a decent human being.
I went to a top 25 school and was accepted to schools in the Top 10, and I don't see how it improved my life, or made it better.
Other than the fact that the school was in an awesome location, and I had some really good life experiences.
I have friends who have more impressive combinations of degrees and school prestige and they use it even less. Though I suppose you could argue they have built up a network from those schools.
I know people who have degrees from Top 10 law schools who aren't practicing law.
Which is to say ... if I had a kid that went to a top tier school, I'd mention it in the same way if they went to the local state college. "This is where Joe goes to college."
I even think that driving your child towards academic merit (for the sake of academic merit) can be seen as detrimental towards their overall happiness in life.
Things like ... majoring in Electrical Engineering when you have no interest in Electrical Engineering, and you're only doing it because it's a difficult major and someone will see that and give you a job that pays big bucks...
Give yourself credit for being a great parent -- if your child really wants to go to one of those schools. My elder son wanted nothing to do with college and ended up going to a low-level state university on a 4-year academic scholarship. He double majored in Mathematics and Computer Science. He still works in the same supermarket he did in high school, and he day trades on the stock market.
He's doing OK but I had to give up encouraging him to look for a 9-5 office job. Part of me wishes he would at least get a masters degree from a decent school, and part of me is happy that he's doing what he wants to do.
This is a little bit of a weird thing and a hard concept for people to grasp, but sometimes when you're less ambitious, things could work out really well for you.
For instance, I have a friend that I used to work with, and he's not ambitious at all. I wouldn't call him lazy, he does what he's told, but he doesn't take initiative and can't really interact with clients.
They moved him into positions that fit his personality and capabilities, and after many years, he's making over six figures right now to do a pretty easy job. I won't say it's exciting, but it's a nice job.
I have more education and skills than he does, but he makes more money to do a MUCH easier job, and his work/life balance is superb.
As a matter of fact, he makes more money than my friend who went to Ivy League undergrad and law school, again for significantly easier work.
I went to a top 25 school and was accepted to schools in the Top 10, and I don't see how it improved my life, or made it better.
Other than the fact that the school was in an awesome location, and I had some really good life experiences.
I have friends who have more impressive combinations of degrees and school prestige and they use it even less. Though I suppose you could argue they have built up a network from those schools.
I know people who have degrees from Top 10 law schools who aren't practicing law.
Which is to say ... if I had a kid that went to a top tier school, I'd mention it in the same way if they went to the local state college. "This is where Joe goes to college."
I even think that driving your child towards academic merit (for the sake of academic merit) can be seen as detrimental towards their overall happiness in life.
Things like ... majoring in Electrical Engineering when you have no interest in Electrical Engineering, and you're only doing it because it's a difficult major and someone will see that and give you a job that pays big bucks...
Not good.
School location has a huge impact on the quality of student life, I would rather go to CSU Fullerton than a more prestigious in the Midwest.
I think the best of all worlds is when you get a job you love doing. As long as the pay is adequate to live a comfortable life and do the things important to you, pay, titles and ease of the job are not that important. My son's friend became a NYC sanitation man after high school. With overtime he makes six figures. He has always enjoyed the work and the camaraderie. He has 25 years on the job and is considering retiring in a few years before he is 50. He owns a two family house and has a wife and kids and has a soft tail Harley he likes to ride on the weekends. My son got a college degree and taught high school English for a year and hated it. He became a NYC fireman and was on that job until a few years ago when he was retired on a medical disability due to a shoulder injury. He has a full pension for life and there's no restrictions on what kind of work he can do, so he owns his own contracting business renovating brownstones. At 44 he is his own boss with a 6 figure income, doing work he enjoys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba
This is a little bit of a weird thing and a hard concept for people to grasp, but sometimes when you're less ambitious, things could work out really well for you.
For instance, I have a friend that I used to work with, and he's not ambitious at all. I wouldn't call him lazy, he does what he's told, but he doesn't take initiative and can't really interact with clients.
They moved him into positions that fit his personality and capabilities, and after many years, he's making over six figures right now to do a pretty easy job. I won't say it's exciting, but it's a nice job.
I have more education and skills than he does, but he makes more money to do a MUCH easier job, and his work/life balance is superb.
As a matter of fact, he makes more money than my friend who went to Ivy League undergrad and law school, again for significantly easier work.
I'm proud of them regardless of an Ivy League grad or as a blue collar contractor. As long as they do their job with vigor, never settle, become great fathers and mothers, participate in civic duty and keep their faith.
I myself am a college drop out visual arts major and after 35 years work in a high tech company managing managers with a high salary. Top 15% wage earner in the US. Everyone around me is college educated masters or higher. It didn't seem to make any difference since we all ended up in the same place. It's all in what you put into it.
I'd be proud OF and FOR them. It would also be a nod towards me having done something right as a parent, even if it was just not screwing them up! LOL!
If your child is admitted to a top tier school and GRADUATES, it's something to be proud of.
I've known so many kids who began top tier schools only to drop out later on. My nephew attended a top rate school for five (5) years before dropping out. I've known kids with full scholarships to good colleges and within two years dropped out.
As Yogi Berra said "It ain't over till it's over." With a degree in hand is when the real celebration begins!
After the degree, it's time for grad school or work. There is always another mountain to climb.
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