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Any suggestions for helping a student with mild anxiety issues as they apply to going away to college, and being more than two hours away from family and friends?
My daughter is an only child -- not the ideal and not what I ever wanted for her -- but there it is, and nothing I can do about it. She is independent, self-reliant, and has been living on her own for the past two years, in an apartment, about two hours from us while she completed her freshman and sophomore years. She has done very well. I am both pleased and proud, as is her Dad.
She will be in Savannah, GA, attending SCAD, and well more than two hours away. She is thrilled, and anxious to jump into these classes more along her interests, and challenging. Interestingly enough, she expressed some anxiety. If on a scale of 1:10, 10 represented backing completely out and staying put, she says she is about a 4 -- not too anxious, but still, a little.
Suggestions from parents who have 'been there/done that' and other students in her situation? What might help ease the transition? I think what makes her anxious at this point is being in a "strange place" and having "no friends" and family near. These seem to be the 'buzz words' when I listen to her.
Here are some possible suggestions I came up with:
-Living on campus will help simplify things for her and also help with meeting friends.
-She might also like to have a car for the first few weeks (during the transition).
-Take advantage of the school's student services: (free tutoring, advising, healthcare and on-campus food and housing, etc.)
-Take a trip to the school: Locate the financial aid building, student union bldg, and the buildings where her classes are located. Get familiar with the campus and the town.
That anxiety is there for most kids, whether they have siblings or not. I have siblings but I was further from home than that, and it was tough for me the first year. I flew home for weekends quite a bit. As she's only 4 hours, she cuold drive back now and then. Once I was really settled in, I loved it. It took a whole year for me, but for my sister it took about 6 hours I think (at another college, another state). We're all different and it's a big change. She'll be fine.
I'd say it's a mix of anxiety (maybe some of your own) with excitement.
What a great school and a great town. Have you (she) been there before? The parks, the riverfront, the beaches, the historic homes, friendly people... She'll love it!
I'm misunderstanding something. She's been living on her own in an apartment for the last two years, two hours from home. She's going to start at another college also two hours away. Is that right?
Anyway, starting something new probably makes all of us a bit anxious. My suggestion is to encourage your daughter to step out of her comfort zone and join clubs that interest her. If there is a pre-orientation program that would be an excellent thing to particpate in. My son did an outdoor pre-orientation at his college and it gave him a group of 15 people to hang out with right away.
I'm misunderstanding something. She's been living on her own in an apartment for the last two years, two hours from home. She's going to start at another college also two hours away. Is that right?
No, she has been in college these past two years -- two years, two hours, from us now. She is transferring to SCAD in Savannah, GA, this Fall, to complete the next two years. Savannah is probably a good 6-8 hours away.
She is not familiar with Savannah, but fell in love with the school when she visited the campus, and took her Portfolio to have it reviewed, last summer. She likes what she has seen of Savannah, and is thrilled she will still be close to the coast.
Sorry, maybe that post just wasn't as clear as what it seemed to me.
I found it odd that she has been on her own, in an apartment and not a dorm, and largely self-sufficient these past two years, but is anxious now about moving -- but then, she is familiar with where she is, has family and friends there, and her parents have been only two hours away.
Having been a teacher, I think what she is feeling is akin to those same feelings HS Seniors have, with graduation looming on the horizon. Must seem to them an awful lot like those Old World maps that suggested one fell off the edge of the world into the chasm of "here there be monsters."
I was looking for suggestions to help make it easier for her.
We will be helping get her out of the place she is in now, moving her things back home, then sorting and packing to carry her to SCAD in Savannah. She'll be in a dorm/apartment and doesn't need the household items she had in a place of her own. We do plan to take her in July to the Orientation kind of thing, and spend some time helping her get her bearings.
I surmise she will do a lot better than what she thinks, but just wanted to know what I, and her Dad, could do to help. I lived at home when I went to college, so there was no big adjustment for me. I understand the anxiety, however.
I thought they usually cut the umbilical cord at birth.
I think you're more anxious about this than she is. She'll be fine. She's an adult now, and the best thing you can do for her to help her flourish as a person is to give her that nudge out of the nest.
Thanks, Sean, but no, I really am not anxious at all.
I was most surprised to hear this child express such concerns, myself. Sort of caught me off-guard, from one who has been independent for the past three years, but then, she is moving out of her own little 'comfort zone.' I have all ideas she will be fine, especially once she immerses herself in her studies and is actually around like-minded people.
Any suggestions for helping a student with mild anxiety issues as they apply to going away to college, and being more than two hours away from family and friends?
My daughter is an only child -- not the ideal and not what I ever wanted for her -- but there it is, and nothing I can do about it. She is independent, self-reliant, and has been living on her own for the past two years, in an apartment, about two hours from us while she completed her freshman and sophomore years. She has done very well. I am both pleased and proud, as is her Dad.
She will be in Savannah, GA, attending SCAD, and well more than two hours away. She is thrilled, and anxious to jump into these classes more along her interests, and challenging. Interestingly enough, she expressed some anxiety. If on a scale of 1:10, 10 represented backing completely out and staying put, she says she is about a 4 -- not too anxious, but still, a little.
Suggestions from parents who have 'been there/done that' and other students in her situation? What might help ease the transition? I think what makes her anxious at this point is being in a "strange place" and having "no friends" and family near. These seem to be the 'buzz words' when I listen to her.
Leave her the heck alone. In fact, make it a point to not cosset her in those first few weeks. There's nothing worse than a hovering parent in these situations.
Quite frankly, I'd be far more worried about your daughter if she weren't worried at all. That would mean that either she's not taking this very seriously at all or that she's way overconfident.
Leave her the heck alone. In fact, make it a point to not cosset her in those first few weeks. There's nothing worse than a hovering parent in these situations.
Quite frankly, I'd be far more worried about your daughter if she weren't worried at all. That would mean that either she's not taking this very seriously at all or that she's way overconfident.
Thanks again, but it's never been my intention to cosset her. She'd resent it, as I've never been a 'helicopter parent.' Good point, though, about being more concerned if she expressed no trepidation over the impending changes in her life.
I think I was soliciting more of a response from students, who at some time felt such anxiety, more than what I was looking for suggestions from parents of those students, but I realize that really wasn't made clear by my post. I am secure in what I, as a parent can and can't do, or should and shouldn't do.
So, for clarification, let me re-phrase this: any of you out there, who were 'anxious' students, setting-out for college several hours away from home for the first time in your lives -- was there anything that helped you with that anxiety? Did it just take time? Did you discover your anxiety largely ungrounded? Any suggestions to pass along to my daughter?
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Maybe this will help. . .
