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Def give it some time. I was miserable my first semester - very home sick, missed my friends and my grades my first semester paid the price. The best thing I did was get involved in a few campus activities. They got my mind off home and I made some great friends that I still have today.
I say "get over it and grow up". It's continued babying of kids nowadays by their omnipresent parents that created a generation of whiners and drugged up kids with their ADHD, OCD, Anti-anxiety, etc. prescriptions.
What's going to happen after they graduate and go into the workforce? Are they going to cry and whine when their coworkers are more concerned about their work and money to put food on the table then gossiping and making the new comer feel "safe and secured" at the new job?
We all have to grow up sometimes and that means dealing with the real world and not be a baby.
Aw, I'm sorry to hear that both you and your daughter are suffering. I would agree with most of the other posters that this is normal. Even the really well adjusted kids on my freshman hall often had moments of homesickness or social insecurity.
If her crying jags have been going on for two days, it is generally not long enough to be considered depression. Right now, it's likely that there is no clinical diagnosis for her experience; she's just upset. You are right to keep a watchful eye on the situation, though. Over a longer period of time, frequent uncontrollable crying is indeed a symptom of depression.
What's so hard is that she's probably too overwhelmed and inexperienced with being on her own to know how to help herself. Anything you can do to encourage positive self care might help her out -- seeking support groups, getting rest, eating well. If she has a favorite healthy indulgence (yoga class, massage, treats from an organic grocery, even a fruit smoothie) maybe you could send her a gift certificate. You'll be showing her you care while also encouraging her to develop positive responses to stress. Also, when one is that unhappy sometimes the littlest things can seem so overwhelming. A "treat" could be as simple as having the local laundromat do her washing for a week. I would agree with others that your empathetic ear is probably more helpful that you could ever know. It might also be good for her to hear from you why you think she is a strong and capable woman who will succeed in college. It can be a self-esteem boost to be reminded that you have overcome adversity in the past. For example, thinking of the 12 pages term paper that one finished ahead of deadline is more meaningful than just being told, "you're a smart kid."
Looking back to when I started college over ten years ago, one of my chief regrets was not getting involved in school activities. I'm glad that you are encouraging her to do so. Maybe she needs not just advice, but a firm push in the right direction? When I was younger, you could tell me what to do all day long, but I'd be overwhelmed by taking the first step. I also didn't know to look not just on campus but to local papers and blogs for things to do. If someone who knew me well had emailed me about a festival/fair/show in town that fit my interests, it might have encouraged me to get out on my own a littler earlier.
I think as time goes by she will be fine. When my niece left to go away to college she was the same way. She was terrified. That was over a year ago and now she is fine. She even has a RA position in the dorm. Hopefully your daughter will be fine
I say "get over it and grow up". It's continued babying of kids nowadays by their omnipresent parents that created a generation of whiners and drugged up kids with their ADHD, OCD, Anti-anxiety, etc. prescriptions.
What's going to happen after they graduate and go into the workforce? Are they going to cry and whine when their coworkers are more concerned about their work and money to put food on the table then gossiping and making the new comer feel "safe and secured" at the new job?
We all have to grow up sometimes and that means dealing with the real world and not be a baby.
Wow, that's pretty insensitive. Not to mention crappy advice and shortsighted. It's the shock of going to college - moving away for the first time, dealing with stuff yourself that you never had to before - that MAKES people grow up and makes joining the workforce easier. By that time you're used to being on your own, budgeting your money etc and it's not a big shock. What's so wrong about moving across the country on your own and not knowing anybody and finding it overwhelming? It IS overwhelming to people who've lived in the same place with the same people their whole lives. The student will stop crying and get over it eventually without your callousness.
Def give it some time. I was miserable my first semester - very home sick, missed my friends and my grades my first semester paid the price. The best thing I did was get involved in a few campus activities. They got my mind off home and I made some great friends that I still have today.
Curiously, this was actually the opposite for me, effect-wise. Because I was so homesick and lonely and sad that first term, I totally immersed myself in overachieiving at my studies to keep my mind off it all. Total bookworm. So I had an amazing academic record that belied how depressed I was.
One thing that I always felt, and sometimes still feel, set me apart from my peers was that I never did reach a point that everyone said I would, where I "would eventually get to the point where I'd be sad when it was time to go back home" for summer or breaks, or where I started to think of college as more my home and my world than home. I grew to love college in its own right, but it never took the place of my home. And when I'd be home for the holidays, etc., whereas a lot of my classmates couldn't wait to get back to school to see their friends, I was always still sad to leave my family. I am more family-oriented, though, than many of my classmates were, admittedly.
Some people will tell you that it's immature to be that close to your family, but the truth is that everyone's different.
Wow, that's pretty insensitive. Not to mention crappy advice and shortsighted. It's the shock of going to college - moving away for the first time, dealing with stuff yourself that you never had to before - that MAKES people grow up and makes joining the workforce easier.
I disagree, and I agree with Psychofan, and sorry to say, but most college students do not grow up until after they leave college.
My daughter came back from freshman year a changed woman. She was much more willing to help with housework, etc, having found out how much work it takes to run one's life.
Give it time... most people grow up after a few years of college. But many don't.
I've known many kids from the area who haven't had the greatest first year of college. Some were immature and had way too much babying at home, and some just didn't fit in immediatly.
I say "get over it and grow up". It's continued babying of kids nowadays by their omnipresent parents that created a generation of whiners and drugged up kids with their ADHD, OCD, Anti-anxiety, etc. prescriptions.
What's going to happen after they graduate and go into the workforce? Are they going to cry and whine when their coworkers are more concerned about their work and money to put food on the table then gossiping and making the new comer feel "safe and secured" at the new job?
We all have to grow up sometimes and that means dealing with the real world and not be a baby.
True.
The real world is a doozy.
Wait for the kid to get her degree and realize that...she's back at the bottom of the totem pole of life.
See? Nothing to be scared of right now.
Maybe easy for me to agree with, since I did not have ANY sort of guidance for college life, since neither parent made it passed high school.
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