Why do people get stereotyped when their parents pay for college? (cost, schools)

[toobusytoday]

Originally Posted by North Beach Person

How does anyone know how your tuition is paid?

I agree with this. In our area where the state schools are fairly expensive, it's the norm for parents to pay for their kids college. Life is too short to care about how about how other people maybe think of you. I've found that most people are more concerned with themselves anyway.

[picklejuice]

Originally Posted by city_data91

A lot of people seem to think if your parents pay for college that's a bad thing. They stereotype you as someone that gets bad grades and does nothing but party because they think you don't care since you don't have to pay. My parents are paying but that doesn't describe me. I have a 3.7 and don't drink. If anything, them paying helps me appreciate what an opportunity I have because if I had to pay I probably wouldn't go to college.

Mainly, I feel the reason behind this commonly shared opinion is that most people don't/didn't have parents who have properly planned to put all of their kids through college. Or, they simply don't/didn't have the money for a number of other possible reasons (some very valid).

It's a combo of envy, and jealousy. Well, and maybe some resentment towards their own family for not helping and planning better.

A college education usually gives a person a head start/leg up in life.

As the last kid out of five, I got shafted in a lot of ways, including college funds. I worked through high school just to buy my senior year book. Am I bitter about it? Yup, a little! Especially, since my dad spent a lot of college dollars on my older brother and sis. They both attended two prestigious colleges

I think he should have made provision for us all to attend (at least) a cheaper community college.

[StinaTado]

I went to an expensive private college where about half the student body had parents who paid full sticker price. They still had to have the same grades and test scores as I did to get in and they had to do the same work I had to do to graduate. I was smart enough to never have to work particularly hard and I loved my classes, so it never felt like work and I was able to have just as much fun as the kids who's parents paid for them. I loved my work-study job (I did it for free my freshman year, then I found out I could get paid for it) so work never felt like work and I got some great professional experience.

I might have had it slightly easier than some of my fully paid for classmates- I had a huge scholarship and since my parents weren't really paying, they had no say in what I studied. My friends with parents paying $200,000 didn't really have that luxury since they were expected to get a job that would lead to that same standard of living. Those kids with "rich" parents sure got pissed when I'd waltz into dinner at 6 pm every day with very little homework since I'd just finished a 3 hour rehearsal while they still had a lab report to do.

I had friends who were on scholarships like me and others who had parents who paid. It never really bothered me because I was too busy having fun.

[rnc76]

Originally Posted by thinkin about it

Jealousy.


Many people are forced to play games with themselves to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. They say things like "my crap jobs taught me xyz life lesson that the rich kids can't get blah blah blah." Or "Being poor has taught me xyz" blah blah blah. But most aren't dumb enough to believe it. It's just an exercise at attempting self-justification for having to do things that suck for an extended periods of time, while others don't have to.

Just jealousy. Nothing layered.

I agree with this. I think it is bitterness in a lot of ways. I really don't think there is anything wrong with parents paying for most or even all of a kids college tuition. Most friends of mine parent's paid most of their college expenses, but most of my friends had part time jobs to pay for their personal expenses. Now kids who had their school paid for, a really nice car and mommy and daddy's credit cards were pretty obnoxious. However, I knew a couple of those kids too who were really humble, did well in school, active in clubs and charities...I wouldn't classify them as your typical spoiled brat.

I had academic scholarships that paid about 2/3 of my tuition. My parents footed the bill for the rest. I was a co-op throughout undergrad, that paid for 90% of my living expenses, my parents helped with a couple hundred bucks here and there for some out of the ordinary expenses. I busted my butt in college and graduated Summa *** Laude in engineering. Then I got a fellowship that paid for my MS. My parents continued to help a little until I got done with school. I haven't asked for any help since. I greatly appreciate that they helped me get on my feet as an adult. I appreciated it then, but I really understand the sacrifices they made now.

I'm a parent now. I have college funds started for my daughters. I hope I am financially able to help them in 15+ years or so that they don't leave college saddled with a overbearing debt. I consider it part of my job as a parent.

[charolastra00]

I never understood the jealousy coming for people who had to put themselves through. I killed myself in high school to get a scholarship, then family paid the rest (maybe $40000 including room and board for 4 years). This allowed me to double major, double minor and study abroad for a year. Did I have fun? Sure. Did I learn a lot more than my peers who had to work full time? Hell yes. I've also worked part time, but it allowed me to take internships since there are no paid internships in my field. I still have "worked" at least 30 hours a semester (and often much more) in some combination of unpaid internships, paid part time work, volunteering, Student Union leadership positions, and political campaigns. I suppose you *could* slack off, but I have yet to see it happen. My friends whose parents pay the whole way and do not have to keep minimum GPAs for scholarships still are just as hard working as those whose parents did not plan for college expenses. In fact, they tend to have much higher GPAs since they can, and do, completely focus on schoolwork.

Not to mention that my college scholarship is only 4 years from the point it was offered. If I had to work to pay off the rest, I could NOT stretch college out to 5, 6 years. Then I'd get the full brunt of $50,000 a year.

[ddmhughes]

Originally Posted by city_data91

A lot of people seem to think if your parents pay for college that's a bad thing. They stereotype you as someone that gets bad grades and does nothing but party because they think you don't care since you don't have to pay. My parents are paying but that doesn't describe me. I have a 3.7 and don't drink. If anything, them paying helps me appreciate what an opportunity I have because if I had to pay I probably wouldn't go to college.

That great that you have such a high GPA! You should be very proud of yourself!

Wether or not your parents can pay for college really depends on the area. In Southern and Western States the tuition of only a few grand a year is very common. In the North East tuition is very expensive and few parents can afford to pay for their children's college. So its a lot bigger thing if a parent pays there then in other parts of the country.

Paying for school is like a lot of things in life if someone never had to pay for it then it usually doesn't meen anything to them. So most people that have their school paid for take it for granted and party. Your parents must have raised you well to know what a great deal your getting!

[TabulaRasa]

Paying for/securing the funding for college myself was and is a good thing...it gave me personal ownership and control over my own future. I didn't waste my time or screw off in school, because it was my money, the scholarships I'd worked for, and loans in my name on the line. I made sure I got my money's worth. It wasn't my parents' job to fund my education. I don't plan to fund my kids' either. My education was my own responsibility, and one I was proud to take on. It's the best and smartest purchase I've ever made, and, yeah, I am proud of myself for doing it myself and for taking it seriously.

Not everyone who foots their own bill is embittered over it. Depends on whether or not you have an entitlement complex.

[Pilgrim21784]

Show me kid not smart enough to leverage parental support for college expenses and I'll show you a waste of opportunity and money.

[hsw]

Parents who truly value upward mobility for their kids wouldn't have kids that they can't afford (both time&money) to properly raise/educate for a valuable career

College has been costly for decades; those with weak careers are at greater risk of being jobless or underemployed in a tough economy...not new news

And kids are ultimately products of parental DNA and values, largely instilled by competent parents, not schools, by age 10 or so

But plenty of dumb/lazy/dishonest/jealous kids exist in every socio-economic gp known, just as incompetent parents exist in every socio-economic gp

Darwinian selection operates slowly...

[city_data91]

No one knows how my tuition is being paid unless they asked and I told them. No one has attributed the stereotype to me personally, but it bothers me that the stereotype exists. Even though my parents are paying, I have a scholarship that covers some of the costs. My hard work in high school is what got me that scholarship. And just for the record, I don't have a car (my parents will pay for college but they won't pay for me to have a car in college...I don't mind).

Something else that bothers me is when people claim they pay for their own college but then you find out they're going for free for whatever reason (or something very cheap like $500 a year). If you're going for free, then YOU are not paying.

Also, parents paying for college is nothing new. My grandparents paid for my parents to go to college and this was in the 1980s.