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Old 01-04-2012, 02:10 PM
Status: "Rocktober...well that was fast. :-(" (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
10,285 posts, read 10,442,913 times
Reputation: 13239

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Maybe these links will help. Both are for Fort Carson.

Family Readiness Center:

ACS Programs - Soldier and Family Readiness

Legal Assistance Office:

Legal Assistance
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Old 01-04-2012, 04:02 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
641 posts, read 1,954,023 times
Reputation: 423
Carrera32....I knew you were my kinda' people....AF MSgt (retired) here. :-)

We seem to be assuming that the offender in question is Army. What service is he in??

Air Force folks don't do that sort of thing!!
I kid...I kid. There are wackos in every service.
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Old 01-04-2012, 05:05 PM
 
727 posts, read 1,134,823 times
Reputation: 766
Terytee - I was a "shave tail" during the last years of the Viet Nam war. Got to do my time at Lowry in Denver (just went where they sent me). Had a great First Sgt, who saved my rear more than a few times. He was a WWII and Korean war vet with about five rows of ribbons. Then there was me, with my "Lackland Campaign" ribbon. I don't think things have changed all that much regarding our OP since that time. We had our share of spouse abusers, folks who couldn't take care of the finances, drug and alcohol abusers, etc. Some we able to rehabilitate, often with some pretty "tough love"; others we disciplined/discharged thru Article 15's and courts martial. As you said, there are wackos everywhere. Sounds like our OP is a deadbeat or worse, and shouldn't be in the service. At the very least, he needs to be straightened out by his CO or First Sgt, and quickly.
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Old 01-04-2012, 05:59 PM
 
20,301 posts, read 37,784,136 times
Reputation: 18081
I'm not surprised that this happened, but I'm disappointed at the way he handled this whole matter -- very low class of him.

We had a similar thing back in DC, with senior civilians and military who took the 9-months of upper management training at the Industrial College of the Armed Forces at Fort McNair, on the grounds of the National War College.

Within a year of completing those nine months of schooling, the attrition rate of the marriages of the attendees was 25% or more. When people get their lives re-arranged for 9-12 months, they tend to re-evaluate where they are in their lives and often hit a sort of mid-life crisis of the "what am I doing here" variety.

So yeah, not surprised to see this happen; a year of life in a combat zone is bound to change a lot of those soldiers and change their expectations and outlook on life.

My advice to the OP is the same as that of others, get the paycheck sent to a new account that only she controls, get a lawyer, talk to the family counselors on Fort Carson and see if his Commanding Officer can take any action to assure fairness. I'd avoid him at all costs as he sounds rather mixed up and might resort to physical abuse.
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Old 01-04-2012, 06:47 PM
Status: "Rocktober...well that was fast. :-(" (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
10,285 posts, read 10,442,913 times
Reputation: 13239
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike from back east View Post
I'd avoid him at all costs as he sounds rather mixed up and might resort to physical abuse.
This is sound advice especially since a lot of these guys don't like it too much when their spouses learn that there is a system in place that holds them accountable and forces them to take care of their families.

OP, you know your husband, we don't. If you are even slightly doubtful, do not risk your own safety or that of your child. Make sure that you are taking steps to protect yourself and the little one if it is needed!
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Old 01-04-2012, 08:54 PM
 
Location: galaxy far far away
3,111 posts, read 4,396,206 times
Reputation: 7185
Everyone is giving you great advice. Also check with Morale & Welfare. If you're near Fort Carson, here's the MWR website - Fort Carson

Please don't sit alone and try and do everything by yourself. This is a huge mental and emotional hit for you. There are churches everywhere. Many of them have ways to help you while you get this figured out. They may have a place to stay, they may have food supplies, and they may have an abused spouse shelter or know of one. Please don't be too proud to ask for help. It's why they have these programs.

Unfortunately, many of our young men and women in uniform weren't psychologically prepared for what happened to them when they deployed, and when they come back, they aren't the same person who left. They express that pain in many ways: lashing out at people they love, trying to go back to old habits and old places to try and find themselves again. I don't know either of you, but my guess is that a great deal of his reaction has nothing to do with you. I know that isn't much, but if you hold that thought, it may help you heal and recover from this just a little better.

Sending you blessings. Hope this works out for you and your baby.
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