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Old 01-03-2012, 08:49 PM
1 posts, read 2,367 times
Reputation: 11


Well, i moved out herefrom california for my husband while he was deployed, got us an apartment, i was only unemployed for two weeks and found a job, worked and help furnish our apartment, i moved out here at the end of april he came home in july, i was so happy to have him back immediatley after one week of being home, he kicked me out. he said he needed time and was no longer in love with me and wanted to be with his ex girlfriend.we sepearted and i lived in a hotel all the while we were still seeing one another intimatley. i got pregnant 3 months later and then we got married 2 weeks after i found out i was pregnant, all was well, till new years eve when he said during a huge fight he was never in love with me and only married me for the babys sake. i have worked all this time i have a joint account and my check is direct deposited into his account i dont see my check he manages the money, i dont have a vehicle and he drives me to work/picks me up on occasions when he can. he took me off the account and cancelled my card, i have no money no place to go and have been living at the hotel i work at. he has not bothered to contact me. what are my rights.
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Old 01-03-2012, 09:38 PM
Location: On the sunny side of a mountain
2,970 posts, read 6,607,413 times
Reputation: 5679
First go to HR tomorrow morning and stop having your check deposited into an account you have no access to, second get an attorney.
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Old 01-03-2012, 10:11 PM
Location: Littleton, CO
3,108 posts, read 4,660,177 times
Reputation: 5389
Talk to a lawyer.

In all likelihood he had to close the account because most banks won't take a person off of an account without their permission. Keep your bank statements that show your check being deposited into your account. Your employer also has records that show your check was deposited.

If he is still in the military, you can explore your options there as well. You might want to start by talking to his immediate supervisor.
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Old 01-03-2012, 11:03 PM
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,739,165 times
Reputation: 7078
If your husband is still in the military, go see a military JAG on his base/post. If he's not, call the El Paso County Bar Association and see if you can talk to an attorney for free or reduced cost. You might check into Legal Aid, as well. You also might want to talk to a bank manager at a branch of your bank to see if you have any recourse in the closing of your joint account. If he's taken your name off the account, then your employer can't direct deposit, so you'll need to talk to your employer and arrange to pick up your paycheck, or open an account in your name only for direct deposit. First, find an attorney, then talk to your employer about your paycheck, then talk to the bank. You need child support, too, which is another reason to see an attorney.
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Old 01-04-2012, 12:33 AM
Status: "Rocktober...well that was fast. :-(" (set 19 days ago)
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
10,289 posts, read 10,446,371 times
Reputation: 13239
You need to contact his Company First Sergeant and report that you are not receiving spouse support. If you are not certain of what unit he is in, contact the military police office at Fort Carson and they can likely assist you in narrowing down your search.

There is also a legal assistance office on the base that you can probably consult as well. A quick google search may be enough to give you the contact information you need.

Also, every unit has a legal officer. This person is not a lawyer but someone who handles disciplinary problems within the unit. Your situation falls under this umbrella. I served time as a legal officer in my last unit (Marine Corps) so if you have specific questions, I may be able to help you with some answers.

Meanwhile I would encourage you to ask your employer to supply you with all your most recent pay stubs, especially those dated after your husband took your card. Also, someone mentioned that banks usually do not take people off accounts without that person's permission. You may be able to call the bank and ask for a new card.

If you have direct questions or need help tracking down relevant personnel on the base that can help enforce behavioral improvements in your husband, shoot me a PM and I'll see if I can help you out.
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Old 01-04-2012, 01:46 AM
Location: San Antonio, Texas
777 posts, read 923,307 times
Reputation: 3150
He can't "kick you out" of your apartment. If you initiallly rented the apartment then you are the primary lease holder.. Is he on the lease? He can't even kick you out of quaters because you are his spouse and the mother of his child. he gets extra pay for you and your child. Where is the child? You first need, to put it bluntly, get a backbone, and stand up tp to him. He cannot abandon you this way, The Army get awfully irritated with soldiers that act this way...talk to his 1st Sgt or Commander. But be aware if you go to his company looking to play the sympathy card DON"T. Commanders and 1st Sgt's have little patience for weak women when female soldiers are putting their lives on the line and working side by side with men. When you have your meeting lay out the facts..bring proof, ask for help in making hubby meet his responsibilities, not sympathy. Have a plan...or a semblence of one.
Open your own bank account and change your direct deposit.
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Old 01-04-2012, 10:45 AM
Location: Larkspur, CO
189 posts, read 700,452 times
Reputation: 72
Lawyer up immediately!
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Old 01-04-2012, 01:29 PM
Location: Colorado Springs
641 posts, read 1,954,356 times
Reputation: 423
Agree with poster above....as a military member, he is REQUIRED to provide support to you until you are legally divorced.....support is required even during legal separation.

If you are legally his spouse, he is required to support you...that's it. The military does not tolerate deadbeat dads...they can simply garnish pay and allowances from the paycheck directly if it comes to that.

Contact his unit First Sergeant immediately....that's what they are there for......better yet....go see the 1st Sgt personally!!

Figure out where your pay is going!!! If you have a joint account, you can access the funds. If the account was closed, then where is your money being sent?? That authorization to deposit to a new would have to have come from you.

No one should have to stand for that crap!
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:00 PM
727 posts, read 1,135,011 times
Reputation: 766
Sarah - Terytee and the previous posters are absolutely right. Back in the dark ages, I was a squaron commander in the Air Force. The first sgt and I dealt with this stuff all the time. Tery's right in that the military does not tolerate deadbeat dads. Once this becomes an issue (and it will be once you talk to them), this can and will affect his military career. However, that doesn't mean that he can't create a lot of mischief in the meantime. So, first, get a lawyer specializing in military legal matters (shouldn't be hard in this town); second, see your husband's commanding officer and/or first sgt; third, open a separate bank account in your name and have your check deposited directly to that account; fourth, go to your current bank and find out from them exactly what your access is and whether he's cleaned out your joint account (my guess is he didn't close it, rather he just moved all the funds to another account in his name); fifth, find out from your employer and then the bank where exactly your checks are going, if not to that joint account, and get it changed or cancel direct deposit and pick up your check in person. Do all this immediately, today, for your protection. Do not hesitate; it is critical you move quickly. Lastly, I agree with Chanygirl. Stiffen your backbone. You're in for a fight and you need to be prepared. Frankly, your first move shouldn't have been to ask for assistance from this forum; you should have camped out at his commander's door, right after meeting with an attorney. Get on it.

Good luck.
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:02 PM
309 posts, read 358,693 times
Reputation: 555
There should also be a family support office (in the Air Force it's called Family & Airmen Readiness) on base staffed by people who can help you, including financial advisors who can explain how bank accounts, direct deposit, etc. works. Make a trip out there and talk to them (after speaking with the First Sergeant and JAG office; it's always better to go in person!).
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