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Old 07-09-2010, 08:38 AM
 
Location: NYC
7,371 posts, read 12,079,859 times
Reputation: 10265

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JSizzle225 View Post
It's been 3 months, he said so himself. How long is he going to vent for? Forever?
3 months is nothing when it comes to something like this type of divorce. He's not going to get over this for a couple of years.

If you are over something like this in 3 months there is something mentally wrong with you.

 
Old 07-09-2010, 08:43 AM
 
Location: in my imagination
10,945 posts, read 17,860,299 times
Reputation: 7616
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSizzle225 View Post
Here's an anaology. .

Here is one. "Hi my name is Dick and I am banging your wife of 25 years and government says you'll have to pay her and me for it for life even after we take half of what you worked for already bahaha!!!"
 
Old 07-09-2010, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
19,236 posts, read 19,916,903 times
Reputation: 19799
All due respect JSizzle

Length of mourning is different for different people. While it may appear he is only concerned for money, it is that the money is sometimes the only tangible thing one can focus their anger, hurt and loss on. When we complain about the alimony, child support or losing our house inside we may actually be grieving the loss of our love, our family our hopes and dreams. Our venting hides the deep hurt, feelings of abandonment, betrayal and failure.
You are correct it is better to find ways to stay busy and focus on the future and the positive, but that is easier said than done.

Last edited by 2mares; 07-09-2010 at 09:17 AM..
 
Old 07-09-2010, 08:58 AM
 
Location: NYC
7,371 posts, read 12,079,859 times
Reputation: 10265
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
All due respect JSizzle

Length of mourning is different for different people. While it may appear he is only concerned for money, it is that the money is sometimes the only tangible thing one can focus their anger, hurt and loss on. When we complain about the alimony, child support or losing our house inside we may actually be grieving the loss of our love, our family our hopes and dreams. Our venting hides the deep hurt, feelings of abandonment, betrayal and failure.
You are correct it is better to find ways to stay busy and focus on the future and the positive, but that is easier said than done.
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
Well said.
 
Old 07-09-2010, 10:07 AM
 
90 posts, read 258,569 times
Reputation: 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2bindenver View Post
A lot depends on the county you file in.

I just had my final orders hearing in Douglas County. He makes 110k a year with two masters degrees, I make $26,000 as a real estate broker. We have 3 kids, two in college. He owes me $1000 a month for 60 months, $950 for the 13 year old. Expenses split 70/30 for the older kids. He pays health insurance.

I hear Denver is more wife friendly.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me out here.

We live in Boulder, which I was told by my lawyer was the worst county in the worst state for my situation.She has not yet filed and I am delaying filing because as soon as I file, a temporary orders hearing will be scheduled and I WILL have to start paying alimony at that time. (Another sucking aspect of the Colorado Divorce Racket. The moment you file, alimony is AUTOMATICALLY AWARDED to the lower earning spouse in the amount of 40% of the higher earner's pay minus 50% of the lower earner's pay.)

I am currently sleeping on my son's couch in Boulder, but the way I understand the racket, I could move to another county, rent an apartment, change my driver's license, and file in that county. I'll go to Highlands Ranch TOMORROW and rent an apartment if things are that good.


Please tell me the truth though: I'm guessing you were awarded what you were based on "imputing" more income to you based on past earnings. In other words, you made $26K last year, but in the past you made much more, maybe even more than your husband. Also, I am guessing you got more than 50% of the assets in the split. Otherwise, there is NO WAY, according to my lawyers and mediator that your kind of deal would be given unless you signed off on it.

So, send me a personal message on this board if you don't want to respond publicly. I'd also like to know the name of your judge. Where is the courthouse in Douglas? Castle Rock?

Any one out there with any suggestions, let me know. I also have heard that Adams County is a better county for me than Boulder, Jeffco or Denver.
 
Old 07-09-2010, 10:10 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,771 posts, read 11,414,180 times
Reputation: 6486
She hasn't filed yet?
 
Old 07-09-2010, 11:23 AM
 
437 posts, read 581,760 times
Reputation: 353
There is no rationality in this. On the one hand, she gets half of all assets, even if the husband earned the majority of it, because they were married and equal partners. THEN, she wants future income even though they are no longer married and thus no longer partners.

Huh?

And lifetime no less.

WTF?!?!?

He must support her until the day she dies, acting as a husband, even though she is no longer acting as a wife. Makes no sense. In reality, she had gotten his entire retirement: half now and half later unless he works until he drops to pay for this lifetime alimony. The judges need to check the Constitution because slavery was outlawed by the 13th Amendment.

This is why you do not get married. Never. And watch out for places like MA which seeks to pass laws giving property and alimony rights for couples living together but not married.
 
Old 07-09-2010, 11:25 AM
 
437 posts, read 581,760 times
Reputation: 353
This post will probably get deleted but, personally, I think a hitman would be a whole lot cheaper in the long run.
 
Old 07-09-2010, 11:36 AM
 
437 posts, read 581,760 times
Reputation: 353
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSizzle225 View Post
Well that is the whole Conspiracy "theory." Theory is in quotations because I don't know if it is.

This why people are against NO FAULT divorce.
1) Divorce is a business. Judges and lawyers draw very high salaries. They need to get this money by making sure Divorce keeps up at least at it's current rate.

2) These are always outrageous. Whoever the "scumbag" is always gets rewarded. Why? Because if you didn't, if you told them to get lost...why would other people do it? See the sinisterness of it?


I'm not saying the GVT should in any way, shape or form make people be married. The GVT should ONLY get involved in these divorces when there has been FAULT. Infedility and abuses.

The NO FAULTS should be handled the same way anyone else breaks up. Sit down and divide things up like adults. If you can't then sue each other in civil court, like normal people.

Despite what the Divorce Industry will tell us, people will act like adults, given the chance to.
Just commenting on the whole conspiracy thing: I think there is truth to the matter. Consider how some states are trying to pass laws giving rights equal to marriage to people who live together but are not married. They claim it is to protect people because, surprisingly to me, some people who live together do not realize that they lack the same rights as married folks.

Are people really that stupid?

If you want the protections that marriage gives, well get married. Simple. So why the push? New business, especially as marriage dries up and those employed in family law see their paychecks dropping.
 
Old 07-09-2010, 11:40 AM
 
Location: southern california
54,284 posts, read 71,079,151 times
Reputation: 46231
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSizzle225 View Post
I hear you loud and clear, guy. You act like you are the only person in the world that has been left high and dry, without an explanation why.

It is just money; you didn't lose your kids. If it makes you feel better, sit down and figure out how much money she spent, versus now how much you are paying out.

You are at a fork in the road, and you have a choice on what way to go. YOu can sit there and be full of bitterness and hatred for the rest of your life...and let the State of Colorado win; or.....you can put it all back together better than you were.

Hey man, I know judges are complete losers. Why give them the satisfaction of knowing they are effecting your life. **** them off, next time you go to court, by being 10 times more awesome than you were last time.

You don't know what's around the bend. You might meet the woman of your dreams. Hey you could be surprised to learn she is wealthy, and doesn't have a care in the world about sharing it with you....and you can spend the rest of your days sailing in her yacht.

You don't know if that will or won't happen; but you'll never find her if you wallow in Alimony payments.
that is good advice about seeing the big picture and getting on with your life. but there is probably alot he is going to have to learn b4 he plunges into another relationship. he probably feels he did everything right in this one and look what happened. this would shake most men's confidence.it certainly would and did mine. but still a good post and good advice. you got rep.
as to others criticism of him lacking sincerity bek he is not bawling, well now i know lots of people that bawl and are very insincere. many posters feel there is another side of the story, mainly her's, but of course there is, but this thread is telling his and men's side of divorce. something women are not always comfortable hearing.
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