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Old 07-08-2010, 11:23 AM
 
5,148 posts, read 1,843,988 times
Reputation: 2865

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
That sounds unbelievable to me. I can't imagine any judge giving an able, capable, working, educated, 45-year old woman with grown kids ANY alimony, much less this amount and for life to boot! I know things vary by state, but all that sounds fishy to me. I'm not saying you're trying to deliberately deceive us, but perhaps these are just preliminary worries of yours.
Well that is the whole Conspiracy "theory." Theory is in quotations because I don't know if it is.

This why people are against NO FAULT divorce.
1) Divorce is a business. Judges and lawyers draw very high salaries. They need to get this money by making sure Divorce keeps up at least at it's current rate.

2) These are always outrageous. Whoever the "scumbag" is always gets rewarded. Why? Because if you didn't, if you told them to get lost...why would other people do it? See the sinisterness of it?


I'm not saying the GVT should in any way, shape or form make people be married. The GVT should ONLY get involved in these divorces when there has been FAULT. Infedility and abuses.

The NO FAULTS should be handled the same way anyone else breaks up. Sit down and divide things up like adults. If you can't then sue each other in civil court, like normal people.

Despite what the Divorce Industry will tell us, people will act like adults, given the chance to.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
11,428 posts, read 11,379,212 times
Reputation: 11670
It is advantageous for people to check the divorce laws before they marry. I am surprised any state still has lifetime alimony. I can understand her getting some alimony being that she dropped her 100K+ career to stay home and now can only earn 35K. Not sure how long it would take to get back up to par, and at her age back in the job market making what she would have been had she not dropped out of the workforce.

Did she file a no fault, and is it being settled out of court? Is there no way you can counter sue on grounds of adultry? Of course this just feeds the attorneys and you need to know it would be worth the money.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:35 AM
 
90 posts, read 175,620 times
Reputation: 129
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
That sounds unbelievable to me. I can't imagine any judge giving an able, capable, working, educated, 45-year old woman with grown kids ANY alimony, much less this amount and for life to boot! I know things vary by state, but all that sounds fishy to me. I'm not saying you're trying to deliberately deceive us, but perhaps these are just preliminary worries of yours.

This is the God's honest truth. I couldn't believe it myself, but in the three months since she dropped "The Bomb", we have been to five mediation sessions, I have talked to two lawyers, and I have also talked to several people who are in the exact same boat. In fact, I talked to one guy who actually has it worse because in addition to a similar amount of alimony he had to pay an additional $1800 a month in child support, AND he lost his job and the court refused to adjust either one initially. He ended up declaring bankruptcy, and THEN the judge lowered his child support, but his alimony is "deferred" meaning once he starts making enough to pay it again, he has to pay the original plus an ADDITIONAL amount each month to make up the arrears. Oh, BTW, his ex cheated on him too, and her unemployed boyfriend lives with her and his kids in the house that HE built with his own two hands! Cohabitation in Colorado is NOT grounds for terminating alimony. This is why the rate of remarriage has plummeted. Since the stigma of living together outside of marriage is gone, why would someone remarry and lose their alimony?

It is warped beyond belief. Look it up. This is the reality in Colorado. No fault divorce, no penalty for cohabitation, lifetime alimony for people with good jobs, bulging bank accounts and no kids.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
11,428 posts, read 11,379,212 times
Reputation: 11670
Quote:
Despite what the Divorce Industry will tell us, people will act like adults, given the chance to.
Ha. Not usually when it comes to divorce. Too many raw emotions.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:38 AM
 
Location: San Diego
17,420 posts, read 14,060,907 times
Reputation: 6185
Quote:
Originally Posted by soscrewed View Post
This is the God's honest truth. I couldn't believe it myself, but in the three months since she dropped "The Bomb", we have been to five mediation sessions, I have talked to two lawyers, and I have also talked to several people who are in the exact same boat. In fact, I talked to one guy who actually has it worse because in addition to a similar amount of alimony he had to pay an additional $1800 a month in child support, AND he lost his job and the court refused to adjust either one initially. He ended up declaring bankruptcy, and THEN the judge lowered his child support, but his alimony is "deferred" meaning once he starts making enough to pay it again, he has to pay the original plus an ADDITIONAL amount each month to make up the arrears. Oh, BTW, his ex cheated on him too, and her unemployed boyfriend lives with her and his kids in the house that HE built with his own two hands! Cohabitation in Colorado is NOT grounds for terminating alimony. This is why the rate of remarriage has plummeted. Since the stigma of living together outside of marriage is gone, why would someone remarry and lose their alimony?

It is warped beyond belief. Look it up. This is the reality in Colorado. No fault divorce, no penalty for cohabitation, lifetime alimony for people with good jobs, bulging bank accounts and no kids.
Glad I moved out of CO.

It must be pretty close to that in other States cause I got some buddies getting screwed over at about the same rate. One has a live in boyfriend, has a new car and the poor sucker had to move back in with his Mom at age 44. WTH?
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:43 AM
 
90 posts, read 175,620 times
Reputation: 129
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
It is advantageous for people to check the divorce laws before they marry. I am surprised any state still has lifetime alimony. I can understand her getting some alimony being that she dropped her 100K+ career to stay home and now can only earn 35K. Not sure how long it would take to get back up to par, and at her age back in the job market making what she would have been had she not dropped out of the workforce.

Did she file a no fault, and is it being settled out of court? Is there no way you can counter sue on grounds of adultry? Of course this just feeds the attorneys and you need to know it would be worth the money.
All divorces in Colorado are no fault. Marital conduct has absolutely NO bearing on ANY part of a Colorado divorce settlement. It is written right into the law. There is no way to prevent a divorce here or get any leverage based on any conduct in the marriage.

If child custody is at stake, conduct may be considered, but only if one spouse or the other is totally whacked.

BTW, it makes no difference where you were married. If you move to Colorado, 90 days later your spouse can cash the winning lottery ticket.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Philly Metro
379 posts, read 52,082 times
Reputation: 412
I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. I can't say that I can relate 100% with this, as my divorce went smoother here in NJ (also a no fault state) and we had no kids. I don't want to get into details of my divorce, but I can tell you that the mediation attorney HOUNDED my ex-wife to say that I benefitted from her education. He was angling for alimony for her. Never mind that I supported her 100% financially while she got that education. I would have loved to be supported 100% while I went for a Masters degree.

It was clear to me that these bloodsucking attorneys wanted to create as difficult a divorce as possible, to line their pockets.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:52 AM
 
5,148 posts, read 1,843,988 times
Reputation: 2865
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Ha. Not usually when it comes to divorce. Too many raw emotions.
Then let them spend the rest of their lives bickering in Civil Court, for all I care.

Family Court is so bogged down (by their own fault; for greed) with No Fault Divorce...that they can't do the functions they were set up to do.

Which is make sure that children aren't being a abused, and spouses aren't abusing each other.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:53 AM
 
5,051 posts, read 2,907,565 times
Reputation: 2612
Quote:
Originally Posted by Union Federal View Post
I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. I can't say that I can relate 100% with this, as my divorce went smoother here in NJ (also a no fault state) and we had no kids. I don't want to get into details of my divorce, but I can tell you that the mediation attorney HOUNDED my ex-wife to say that I benefitted from her education. He was angling for alimony for her. Never mind that I supported her 100% financially while she got that education. I would have loved to be supported 100% while I went for a Masters degree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
what gets me, is that she can choose to leave you (cheating, no less), and still be awarded alimony.
Some of the many reason why men are pretty much dragged to the altar. I don't get it either. Reason why I have said that marriage is a win/win situation for women, sometimes, even a career move.

So I guess Soscrewed, women can get rewarded for screwing up in marriage or simply for getting bored (no-fault divorce). It's not only in Colorado.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Philly Metro
379 posts, read 52,082 times
Reputation: 412
Quote:
Originally Posted by soscrewed View Post
This is the God's honest truth. I couldn't believe it myself, but in the three months since she dropped "The Bomb", we have been to five mediation sessions, I have talked to two lawyers, and I have also talked to several people who are in the exact same boat. In fact, I talked to one guy who actually has it worse because in addition to a similar amount of alimony he had to pay an additional $1800 a month in child support, AND he lost his job and the court refused to adjust either one initially. He ended up declaring bankruptcy, and THEN the judge lowered his child support, but his alimony is "deferred" meaning once he starts making enough to pay it again, he has to pay the original plus an ADDITIONAL amount each month to make up the arrears. Oh, BTW, his ex cheated on him too, and her unemployed boyfriend lives with her and his kids in the house that HE built with his own two hands! Cohabitation in Colorado is NOT grounds for terminating alimony. This is why the rate of remarriage has plummeted. Since the stigma of living together outside of marriage is gone, why would someone remarry and lose their alimony?

It is warped beyond belief. Look it up. This is the reality in Colorado. No fault divorce, no penalty for cohabitation, lifetime alimony for people with good jobs, bulging bank accounts and no kids.
No wonder Colorado is the state where people end up going postal!
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