Colorado mountain real estate terms
I was digging through some stuff at home yesterday and found this in my "humor" pile. I don't remember who gave it to me, but I thought it was way funny:
Colorado mountain real estate terms: what they say, and what they really mean:
"Rushing stream on the property." - You're in the flood plain, baby.
"Nestled in the pines." - This house is toast in the next forest fire.
"Gorgeous 360 degree views in all directions." - There's no vegetation.
"Easy year-round road access" - There's a busy U.S. Highway right out the front door.
"Seasonal access." - You can't get to it eight months out of the year.
"Abundant local wildlife found on the property." - The local high school kids use the property for their weekend keggers.
"Signs of mountain lion and black bear on the property." - The mountain lion ate the owner's poodle. The bear ate all of the food in the refrigerator and crapped in the living room.
"Rustic natural setting." - There's no running water and no electricity.
"Airy bathroom" - An outhouse.
"Natural home exterior" - The house hasn't been painted since Eisenhower was President.
"Home just needs a little TLC." - The home needs a bulldozer.
"No restrictive covenants or zoning." - Get used to the survivalists living down the road firing their automatic weapons day and night.
"Organic garden." - The marijuana plants are coming back up from seed.
"Great investment property." - If it's such a great investment, why is the owner trying to sell it?
"Seller motivated." - The bank is about to foreclose on the owner's great investment property.
"This market is HOT right now." - There's a sucker born every minute.
"I sell real estate because I like to help people and be part of the community." - A couple of more sales like this one and I'll have enough money to get the hell out of here.
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