Acceptance as a small town native? (Denver, Pueblo: fit in, transplants, new home)

[zebedee]

I've read a few posts about people having problems when moving to new areas of Colorado, and I know it happens everywhere to a certain extent, but I wanted to see if any "natives" have thoughts on the subject.
I've seen people move from other states, fly their own state flag and try to turn the town into their state, and it is easy to see why natives take offence.
I, on the other hand, don't have a strong accent, will ditch the old license plates as soon as possible, won't be looking down on the locals (I want nothing more than to be one), and will volunteer for SAR.
Am I missing anything that really ticks people off? I've lived in different places but never one of the small towns where everyone knows everyone.

[jazzlover]

Not outwardly doing things to irritate long-time residents is a good start. That said, it still may take you a long time to be accepted in some communities. That it is not so true in the transplant-infested resort and mountain towns (but they aren't "real" small towns in most social respects, either), but in the small towns where mostly long-time residents live, it can take years or decades to be accepted. I know people who have lived in Colorado small towns for over 30 years, but are still considered "newcomers" because they are not multi-generational residents. It all depends.

The one absolute thing you DO NOT want to do is to say, "Well, back in 'X', we did it this way." That will get you shunned about as fast as anything. That will usually engender the response, "Well, if you liked the way things were done in "X' so well, why the hell don't you just move back there?"

[jim9251]

Here's what I did. I've told people I love it just the way it is here and wouldn't change a thing. It seems everyone who moves here from other states *cough* California, Texas *cough* want to change everything to make it exactly where they moved from. That don't set well with locals. Of course my sister who's lived in Delta for 50 years was called an outsider by a rancher last week, so who know?

[Kar54]

Originally Posted by jazzlover

Not outwardly doing things to irritate long-time residents is a good start. That said, it still may take you a long time to be accepted in some communities. That it is not so true in the transplant-infested resort and mountain towns (but they aren't "real" small towns in most social respects, either), but in the small towns where mostly long-time residents live, it can take years or decades to be accepted. I know people who have lived in Colorado small towns for over 30 years, but are still considered "newcomers" because they are not multi-generational residents. It all depends.

The one absolute thing you DO NOT want to do is to say, "Well, back in 'X', we did it this way." That will get you shunned about as fast as anything. That will usually engender the response, "Well, if you liked the way things were done in "X' so well, why the hell don't you just move back there?"

Well said. One example; my ex-wife, who was born in Denver and has lived in CO her entire life, took a job in Pueblo a few years back. She might as well had been from Mars. She said no matter what she did to fit in, neighbors, co-workers, shop keepers, you name it, considered her an outsider because she couldn't name what high school in Pueblo she'd graduated from. It's all perspective and people operate on different levels. Looks like you're taking the right steps and you'll fit in fine (from a CO native).

[CosmicWizard]

jazzlover wrote:

I know people who have lived in Colorado small towns for over 30 years, but are still considered "newcomers" because they are not multi-generational residents. It all depends.

Sounds like a typical case of smalltownitis! This dis-ease is rampant in PA as well. During my weeklong PA visit this spring, I was talking with my cousin and his wife who have been married for over 35 years. For the duration of their marriage, they have lived in the small town that I grew up in. She is from another town about 18 miles away, and is still waiting for the day when she will be accepted as a local!

Now this is taking place only 50 miles from Philadelphia....one of the biggest cities in the USA. My thinking is this: If a dise-ease of this nature continues to thrive just 50 miles from a major city, the more isolated towns of rural Colorado are likely to experience this dis-ease faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar into the future.

[pyrotech]

Originally Posted by jim9251

Here's what I did. I've told people I love it just the way it is here and wouldn't change a thing. It seems everyone who moves here from other states *cough* California, Texas *cough* want to change everything to make it exactly where they moved from. That don't set well with locals. Of course my sister who's lived in Delta for 50 years was called an outsider by a rancher last week, so who know?

Heh, I was just thinking "That's the same type of mindset a lot of people in Texas have," as far as "you weren't born here, you don't belong here." Jazzlover hit it on the head when they mentioned "if you don't like it, you can GET OUT!"
lol, some people's sense of entitlement are so funny.

[progmac]

i lived in a small town in Colorado. there was a strong divide between transplants and natives. but, my friends were mostly the natives. there was little hesitation to accept new people unless it seemed like they were trying to change things. those who were trying to change things would never be accepted by the natives even after 40+ years in the same town. those who weren't were accepted after a year or two but it would still take 15+ years to not be a newcomer. fair enough i thought, lots of people come and go.

btw, it is funny to see people in colorado get all excited about being native. i know very few families that have been in the area more than a generation or two. the west is very new. even in ohio my family goes back more than six generations, new england might be twice that.

[Katarina Witt]

Originally Posted by CosmicWizard

jazzlover wrote:

I know people who have lived in Colorado small towns for over 30 years, but are still considered "newcomers" because they are not multi-generational residents. It all depends.

Sounds like a typical case of smalltownitis! This dis-ease is rampant in PA as well. During my weeklong PA visit this spring, I was talking with my cousin and his wife who have been married for over 35 years. For the duration of their marriage, they have lived in the small town that I grew up in. She is from another town about 18 miles away, and is still waiting for the day when she will be accepted as a local!

Now this is taking place only 50 miles from Philadelphia....one of the biggest cities in the USA. My thinking is this: If a dise-ease of this nature continues to thrive just 50 miles from a major city, the more isolated towns of rural Colorado are likely to experience this dis-ease faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar into the future.

Def agree about the situation in PA. My parents owned a home for 40 years in a suburb of Pittsburgh; after 30, some were still calling it by the first owner's name, e.g. "The Smith House" instead of "The Jones House".

Here in the burbs of metro Denver, no one cares much a team flag for an out of state team, etc. I have lots of neighbors who are Nebraska/Packers fans. Volunteering is a great way to get to know people.

[Josseppie]

I think its good for a city to have outside ideas brought in and I for one embrace it. Let me give you one example, President Garcia of CSU Pueblo. He moved to Pueblo and has been instrumental in making CSU Pueblo the fastest growing university in the state and now he is running for Lt. Governor.

[CosmicWizard]

Curious to know why anyone would ass-ume that someone doesn't like it here ( wherever here might be ) when he or she says, back in xxxxxxxx, we used to do dad dah dah. Could be that the person saying that is simply recalling a fond memory. Having a fond memory about ones old home is not mutually exclusive with loving ones new home. Love is unlimited! Anyone of us is capable of loving multiple places.