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I hope to finally find a state i'm happy living in, because it's getting scary being 30-something with no family, friends, and no job security. I grew up in the northeast, moved to Oregon a couple years ago, ended up moving back to New York, now i'm ready to get the heck out of here again. I found the west to be so relaxing and care-free, and that is how I am. I don't fit in with people in the north, but I did make friends very fast in Oregon. I've been back in New York for a year, not one friend, I feel HORRIBLE! . I love to be outdoors and enjoy the beauty and peacefulness of it, very soothing for someone like me. What is the general attitude in Colorado towards people with mental health issues? How about low-income people? Outsiders? What city would you recommend for me? I'd appreciate all the help and info I could get, thanks.
(DIsclaimer- I've worked in mental health for 27 years, visit Colorado almost every year, and live in Massachusetts).
When looking for jobs online on both the Front Range and Western Slope, I was struck by how few mental health services were available. I doubt that shows an attitude against services or people who use them, but a lack of funding or access to that which does exist.
I doubt I'll be the only person to suggest that the "geographic cure" won't do much good for you. I do appreciate a feeling of being a lone tumbleweed. But it sounds like you need to find a place to live that is low(er) cost (are you on SSDI?) and slower paced, with some access to natural beauty or at least some peace. Such places can be found anywhere outside major cities. If you're low income, likely you aren't able to afford to live in the midst of natural beauty or unable to afford a car to drive to it.
So, outside large areas, somewhere with or near some type of natural beauty (hard not to find, unless you're in Jersey City or such) and a smaller, slower paced area, with some kind of access to mental health services. I can't imagine where that could be in Colorado, but there are likely quieter, friendlier places in almost every state if you go to a smaller city or town.
I hope to finally find a state i'm happy living in, because it's getting scary being 30-something with no family, friends, and no job security.
Here's a note from my personal journal. I've never shared it publicly before, so I hope you can appreciate it now...
I must have moved nearly 20 times by the time I was 30. After landing once again in the Bay Area, essentially homeless, tossed about by the horrible housing situation there, a friend of mine and I were starting to make plans on where we should move next in order to find some place where we'd be happier.
Suddenly, I stopped and said, '“You know, I’m tired of looking for someplace better, I’d rather just stay here until here gets better.” A few weeks later, I got a job and an apartment in that area. I stayed there for many years. New opportunities opened up in time, and eventually my wife and I bought a nice little house on a lake in the Colorado Rockies... Pretty much the life I'd always wanted.
I hope that didn't just sound preachy. That was just my experience. But did you notice the turning point there?
Last edited by treedonkey; 08-07-2009 at 04:34 PM..
I remember moving to Santa Fe in 1978, leaving a fantastic job in Boston (didn't realize it then, or care). Of course, I was unable to find a job in Santa Fe, found myself waiting at the mailbox for letters from my many friends in Boston, and had no idea how to make this new place "home."
After a couple of months, I was talking to some people about their idea to move to Oregon. Of course I wanted to go, too, and then a little voice said, "But Santa Fe was the change you wanted to make, and here you are thinking of leaving for another new place?"
I noticed that I set up the same life wherever I went- where to buy a newspaper, where to get coffee, change car registration, change addresses, etc. And the day was made up of making a living and what people were available as friends (and Santa Fe offered neither).
It's always worth one major try to see if you like "the new place" a lot better, or adjust to the ups and downs of the new place and stay. But the issues do remain the same for most people.
The OP mentioned mental health issues and I thought was trying to say that he/she needed a quiet, slower place with beauty for mental health reasons. That sounds like any moves would be a real case of vulnerability, or fragility. "Low income" could mean a low-income job (which might be hard to find in a new place, like any job) or on SSDI, which isn't exactly a gravy train.
I do agree with much of brightdoglover has said. Colorado is a state that is on the low end of contributing to social programs. However, it has changed significantly in the last few years and greatly in the last few months. Colorado for years ignored some matching Federal Funds for Medicaid and has now has acted to take advantage of these funds.
I do not think that moving from New York will give you any advantages---what you perceive is false and you can make as many friends in New York as in Colorado. I am an ex New Yorker and have lived in all other NY. All of New York is not the same. Upstate is not the same as NYC and there are many areas that are scenic, rural and have a very relaxing lifestyle. They also have less aggressive and friendly people than the crowds in NYC.
It is cheaper to live in many places of NY than Colorado. It has better social support programs. You also have familiarity of place which removes much stress in finding oneself.
The old saying does apply: Wherever You Go, There You Are. You take your problems with you because that is where the healing has to begin.
I am also disabled under SSDI and I am very familiar with the problems of living on a low income and having medical problems. You would make out much better in a less costly area of New York and obviously not the New York City Metro area. You will be able to gain better social services and the high taxes of NY will not be an issue, because if you have limited resources--you will pay little or no tax.
Well, you would ask, If I feel this way, why do I not go back to NY?? I have been in Colorado for more years, over 30, than I lived in NY---this is now home. All my family moved here. I have my familiarity of place and low stress. In addition, I suffer from very severe arthritis and the low humidity warmer climate is better than the cold damp of New York. However, I do miss the small scenic towns of New York State.
Livecontent
Last edited by Mike from back east; 08-07-2009 at 07:41 PM..
After reading all of the replies, here is my take on your question. I too am on SSDI, and have lived in many states before receiving it. I would first make an questionaire of what you are truly asking of yourself, and your expectations. Needs and wants. Goals and ambitions. Be complete. 1 year, 5 years, 10 years. Then do your research.
That being said, there are guidelines. It is usually recommended that you do NOT move to the smaller towns. You will be living in a fishbowl, with the local (and at times enforced) stigma of whatever disease you have, The locals do not always understand nor tolerate, SSDI nor you. The economy has not helped, and you may be 'helped' to move on. Sad but true.
Look at the support structure available, job or career capabilities, housing (do not expect to have low income housing available-there is a waiting list), education and activities.
Better to start in a small city, do your homework, and then expect that you will need to rebuild once there and e prepared with the expectation that you will need to move again and continue rebuilding, as you grow and acomplish your lifes plan.
Colorado is a beautiful state, and so is New York. Relish both. Be sure you are moving to, and not running away from. Stand your ground and be assertive. Take the time to prepare yourself inwardly before you move It will make a difference. The old saying is so true, where ever you go, there you are.
In saying this, if you are in an abusive situation, then it is highly recommended that by all means move far away, and quickly. Staying will do more harm then good, and cost you years in getting back to your baseline where you started from. Good luck
I have to say that I disagree with almost all of the above posts, even though their responses sound really sensible.
I moved to Colorado from a large city in the northeast and it was the best choice I ever made. In the big city, I withered, languished, choked on the pollution, breathed in only the smell of garbage and could never see the sky through the tall buildings. I was living in isolation and alientation among millions of people.
In my worst hours there, a very wise woman suggested that I was like a plant in the wrong soil and I just needed to find the "right" soil for me. So that I could thrive, rather than shriveling up.
A small town in Colorado turned out to be "the right soil" for me. (Canon City) This town gets a bad reputation for the prisons in the area, but that also means there is a really good mental health net here and you will be in good company with low income, honest people just looking for some nice scenery & sunshine to survive.
So I say - go west, or south, or north and find your soil. It may not be Colorado, but it sounds like you are not thriving in New York so keep looking. You'll find it. And when you do, you'll know it instantly.
Nothing ventured nothing gained. I have wanted to move to Colorado for years, but my job and providing for my family has kept me here in Ca. If it is just you to worry about and no kids. Go Go Go.
Nothing ventured nothing gained. I have wanted to move to Colorado for years, but my job and providing for my family has kept me here in Ca. If it is just you to worry about and no kids. Go Go Go.
The OP might have a kid by now. The original post is over a year and a half old.......
There is an "If" in the statment...... Like me "If", and I do have kids, I would not be as likely to take chances. Hence I am still living where my job is and not where I want to be.
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