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Old 08-26-2011, 04:11 PM
 
6 posts, read 7,337 times
Reputation: 21

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My wife & I have been vacationing in Pagosa since we met in '05. I have been vacationing there with my parents since I was 13 in '87. Fast forward several years and we now are married with a 2.5 year old boy. Now that I am settled down, have a great high paying job where I work from home and can live anywhere, I am really ready for a change and want to move to Colorado. The weather, the beauty, the cool people, the breweries, I could go on for pages, but I just feel a calling I need to move there. We currently live in a suburb of Dallas and I absolutely hate it. I am so miserable here. This has been the worst summer of my life. We are going on 60+ days of triple digit weather.

The wife absolutely does not want to move. She doesn't want to leave the close proximity of her mother and other family even though they have supported my idea. She supports going in with someone on a cheap vacation house, but I don't see the point in being cash strapped with 2 houses when I want to live here year round.

I guess are there any of you who went through my predicament who were eventually successful in convincing your spouses to move here and what were some of your supporting ideas?

So far some of my pros are:
- Close to my aging grandmother who lives in Pagosa
- More nice days to enjoy per year than in TX
- Low property taxes
- Tons of outdoor activities for our son so we don't raise an "indoor kid"
- healthy lifestyle as CO is the skinniest state in US
- Beautiful neighborhoods with respect for nature and conservation of trees everywhere
- people seem very friendly here and seems it would be easy to make friends
- Outdoor activities all year around


I could go on and on...Any help would be appreciated!!
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Old 08-26-2011, 04:15 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,527 posts, read 29,233,815 times
Reputation: 21263
Quote:
Originally Posted by bry909 View Post
My wife & I have been vacationing in Pagosa since we met in '05. I have been vacationing there with my parents since I was 13 in '87. Fast forward several years and we now are married with a 2.5 year old boy. Now that I am settled down, have a great high paying job where I work from home and can live anywhere, I am really ready for a change and want to move to Colorado. The weather, the beauty, the cool people, the breweries, I could go on for pages, but I just feel a calling I need to move there. We currently live in a suburb of Dallas and I absolutely hate it. I am so miserable here. This has been the worst summer of my life. We are going on 60+ days of triple digit weather.

The wife absolutely does not want to move. She doesn't want to leave the close proximity of her mother and other family even though they have supported my idea. She supports going in with someone on a cheap vacation house, but I don't see the point in being cash strapped with 2 houses when I want to live here year round.

I guess are there any of you who went through my predicament who were eventually successful in convincing your spouses to move here and what were some of your supporting ideas?

So far some of my pros are:
- Close to my aging grandmother who lives in Pagosa
- More nice days to enjoy per year than in TX
- Low property taxes
- Tons of outdoor activities for our son so we don't raise an "indoor kid"
- healthy lifestyle as CO is the skinniest state in US
- Beautiful neighborhoods with respect for nature and conservation of trees everywhere
- people seem very friendly here and seems it would be easy to make friends
- Outdoor activities all year around


I could go on and on...Any help would be appreciated!!
Make it a trial deal. Ask her if she would COMPROMISE and live there for 6 months on a trial basis. Put your stuff in storage and rent a place fo 6 months and see if she warms up to the idea.

It's not for everybody. It sure wasn't for me.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 08-26-2011, 04:57 PM
 
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
14,131 posts, read 26,250,313 times
Reputation: 6815
Quote:
Originally Posted by bry909 View Post
The wife absolutely does not want to move. She doesn't want to leave the close proximity of her mother and other family even though they have supported my idea.
You should have worked this out before you sealed the deal with marriage and a child. You'll probably just have to suck it up and consider it a sacrifice for love. You won't be the first or the last. Maybe you can get her to move after her mom passes on or agrees to come there and live with you.

A wiser man than I once said "don't get yourself anything you'll have to feed or paint". Sometimes that includes wives.
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Old 08-26-2011, 05:05 PM
 
8,317 posts, read 25,095,377 times
Reputation: 9065
Some things to think about, especially with a kid: Colorado schools, especially in the rural areas, are often not the best, and are likely to get worse with Colorado's rapidly deteriorating fiscal condition. Those low property taxes are also a major source of school funding, so it shouldn't take a genius to figure out that low school funding is also a feature of Colorado's fiscal situation.

You had better like winter, because it is pretty rigorous in Pagosa. Many Sunbelters think they will love it, but after 6-8 months of it, a lot of them tire of it. 60 days of triple-digit temperatures would drive me nuts, but 60 days of below-zero nights can wear on people, too.

Respect for nature? Gimme a break. In mountainous Colorado, rural subdivisions have some of most negative environmental impacts of any type of development--everything from noxious weed proliferation to wildlife migration route disruption.

The big issue is economics. You currently have a job where "you can live anywhere." So, you move to Pagosa. What happens if that job evaporates? (Don't say it can't happen--it does all the time these days.) Then what? I would just about guarantee you won't be supporting your family on any job you could find around Pagosa. A lot of these "Colorado dreamers" on this forum just don't seem able to understand that. There is a reason that many of the residents of towns like Pagosa in Colorado are retired people in their 60's and 70's with secure pensions--they don't have to worry about the schools, finding a job, getting out when the weather is bad, etc., etc.

Your wife is probably wise in having some trepidation. And, if she is not happy with your decision, you may have a lot more than just the usual issues of living in rural Colorado--I'm seen that happen plenty, too.
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Old 08-26-2011, 05:28 PM
 
Location: On the sunny side of a mountain
2,970 posts, read 6,607,413 times
Reputation: 5679
Happy wife=Happy life

If she's a Dallas girl and her whole support system is there trying to get her to move and be happy with that decision is just not going to happen. You could give it a try on a short term basis, but frankly it will likely not work out in your favor. Sorry, I get your desire to leave Dallas, can't blame you one bit, but it sounds like a vacation house might be in your future for now.
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Old 08-26-2011, 06:18 PM
 
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
14,131 posts, read 26,250,313 times
Reputation: 6815
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmama50 View Post
but it sounds like a vacation house might be in your future for now.
You can buy a lot of nice vacation weeks for the cost of a second home. To me, owning two homes makes no sense.
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Old 08-26-2011, 09:05 PM
 
6 posts, read 7,337 times
Reputation: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
Make it a trial deal. Ask her if she would COMPROMISE and live there for 6 months on a trial basis. Put your stuff in storage and rent a place fo 6 months and see if she warms up to the idea.

It's not for everybody. It sure wasn't for me.

20yrsinBranson
I agree, I think that's going to be the best method, my parents, who are retired and looking for something to do are actually looking to buy an investment property to slowly flip & enjoy. We'll definitely get a chance to spend some time there and see if it's a great fit.
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Old 08-26-2011, 09:20 PM
 
6 posts, read 7,337 times
Reputation: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzlover View Post
Some things to think about, especially with a kid: Colorado schools, especially in the rural areas, are often not the best, and are likely to get worse with Colorado's rapidly deteriorating fiscal condition. Those low property taxes are also a major source of school funding, so it shouldn't take a genius to figure out that low school funding is also a feature of Colorado's fiscal situation.

You had better like winter, because it is pretty rigorous in Pagosa. Many Sunbelters think they will love it, but after 6-8 months of it, a lot of them tire of it. 60 days of triple-digit temperatures would drive me nuts, but 60 days of below-zero nights can wear on people, too.

Respect for nature? Gimme a break. In mountainous Colorado, rural subdivisions have some of most negative environmental impacts of any type of development--everything from noxious weed proliferation to wildlife migration route disruption.

The big issue is economics. You currently have a job where "you can live anywhere." So, you move to Pagosa. What happens if that job evaporates? (Don't say it can't happen--it does all the time these days.) Then what? I would just about guarantee you won't be supporting your family on any job you could find around Pagosa. A lot of these "Colorado dreamers" on this forum just don't seem able to understand that. There is a reason that many of the residents of towns like Pagosa in Colorado are retired people in their 60's and 70's with secure pensions--they don't have to worry about the schools, finding a job, getting out when the weather is bad, etc., etc.

Your wife is probably wise in having some trepidation. And, if she is not happy with your decision, you may have a lot more than just the usual issues of living in rural Colorado--I'm seen that happen plenty, too.

I appreciate the input jazzlover, I was not familiar with the ratings of the schools there. I just figured, small town, less big city problems like drugs, gangs, etc.

One of the key drivers about my interest in Pagosa is it seems to be going through a downturn in real estate and seems you can get some great houses & land for the money.

The winter doesn't scare me too much, I would actually look forward to the change and remembering what it's like to shovel snow. May get old after awhile, but still much to do outdoors in the winter.

I guess I was comparing development in CO vs TX. Here they bulldoze forest and build subdivision and plant a small sapling tree in the front yeard - depressing. At least from what I've seen in CO they preserve some of the trees. And Colorado Wild seems to be very active in slowing overdevelopment of the Wolf Creek ski area.

The economics issue is probably where I'm strongest, I'm a top performer& have been in the same field for 10 yrs now and never been out of work for more than 2 weeks when the firms I worked for were experiencing downturns or mismanagement. I've always been in high demand and all of my companies have been remote. Even worked for a company once based out of Montreal.

thanks again.
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Old 08-27-2011, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Durango, CO
169 posts, read 318,224 times
Reputation: 257
[quote=jazzlover;20624327]Some things to think about, especially with a kid: Colorado schools, especially in the rural areas, are often not the best, and are likely to get worse with Colorado's rapidly deteriorating fiscal condition. Those low property taxes are also a major source of school funding, so it shouldn't take a genius to figure out that low school funding is also a feature of Colorado's fiscal situation.

Not even remotely a problem that is unique to Colorado: it's happening in EVERY SINGLE STATE so if the schools are going to suck in either place he can either stay where he is and be miserable, or move here and (hopefully) be happy.

What happens if that job evaporates?

What happens if the moon were to explode tomorrow? What happens if the Cubs win the World Series? It's obvious that you would rather hunker down and wait for a catastrophe but most of us don't live our lives worrying about what's going to go wrong today, we look for the positives in life.

A lot of these "Colorado dreamers" on this forum just don't seem able to understand that.

That's where you're wrong, we do get it, we simply choose not to live in fear of the great "what if?". You are not the only person capable of determining what is best for your own future and just because we don't live in fear of calamity doesn't mean we aren't aware of the risks. That's what you don't seem able to understand.
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