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Old 12-27-2007, 05:37 PM
 
5,091 posts, read 13,189,097 times
Reputation: 6912

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When I was a child, I took the heads of my sister's Barbies--I thought it was fun

Little did I know, that I was expressing a repressed want and defense mechanism of the male--a women without a nagging mouth--which is in the head.

So, the Barbie I want is a HEADLESS BARBIE. , with arms and legs to do my bidding, the laundry, the cooking and.... and....best of all------peace and quiet.

Livecontent

oh, oh, oh, leave me alone--women--it is only a joke, bad taste, I know, but I could not stop myself---SOMEBODY STOP ME.
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Old 10-13-2008, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
46 posts, read 150,362 times
Reputation: 103
Default You might be a Coloradoan if... (a little humor for Monday!)

Some of you have probably heard this, but I still get some laughs out of it:


You might be a Coloradoan if:

You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day.

You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.

Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.

You're a meat-eating vegetarian. (aka a "hippiecrit")

The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your own special bike lane.

You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching.

You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.

Your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tires.

You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.

You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU victory.

You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.

You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.

You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista

When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of 20 beer and not get a buzz.

Your car insurance costs more than your car.

You have surge protectors on every outlet.

April showers bring May blizzards.

'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been.

You know what a 'Chinook' is

You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is.

You know what a "fourteener" is.

But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.

A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does.

Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.

You know who Alferd Packer was and what he did.

You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.

SPF 90 is not out of the question.

People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.

Thunder has set off your car alarm.

Where we're going, we don't need roads!!

You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.

You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.

You know where the real " South Park " is.

You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight

Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass.

You've 'checked for ticks'

You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka with a hood.

You've gone snow skiing in July and.....

You've played golf in January and.....

They were in the same year!

You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run into both oceans

And you get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.


I especially like the "correct" pronunciation of Buena Vista, and dressing the kids with costumes that fit over a snowsuit!!! My mom seriously did that for me! Too funny!

Last edited by Mike from back east; 03-28-2017 at 07:21 PM..
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Old 10-13-2008, 12:33 PM
 
Location: CO
2,534 posts, read 5,827,791 times
Reputation: 3295
Earlier thread:

You know you're a Coloradoan if....
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Old 10-13-2008, 12:34 PM
 
Location: on an island
13,374 posts, read 40,206,354 times
Reputation: 13181
I thought it was Alferd Packer.
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Old 10-13-2008, 12:45 PM
 
8,317 posts, read 25,143,563 times
Reputation: 9066
Quote:
Originally Posted by katie_c_s View Post
Some of you have probably heard this, but I still get some laughs out of it:


You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run into both oceans

And you get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.

And I'm sure I can think of at least two posters on this forum who will call you names for these last two.

And, yes I have and yes I do . . .

PS--Alferd Packer is the correct spelling.
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Old 10-13-2008, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
719 posts, read 2,310,336 times
Reputation: 487
Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzlover View Post
And I'm sure I can think of at least two posters on this forum who will call you names for these last two.

And, yes I have and yes I do . . .

PS--Alferd Packer is the correct spelling.
Ditto-numerous times on various passes! Speaking of which-driving over Loveland Pass in white-out blizzards at night, before the Eisenhower Tunnel was built. Now there's a horror show...

Last edited by Sockeye; 10-13-2008 at 03:09 PM..
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Old 10-13-2008, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
46 posts, read 150,362 times
Reputation: 103
Default Oops!

I did do a search before I posted, but I didn't see the previous post. I think the search function needs a little attention because I got over 100 hits for a pretty specific search.

And- I did not write these, I just copied and pasted, so the misspelling of Alferd can't be attributed to me! Although I didn't notice until it was pointed out...
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Old 10-13-2008, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,049 posts, read 98,999,163 times
Reputation: 31537
Quote:
Originally Posted by katie_c_s View Post
I did do a search before I posted, but I didn't see the previous post. I think the search function needs a little attention because I got over 100 hits for a pretty specific search.

I agree with that! I have had the same problem many times.

And- I did not write these, I just copied and pasted, so the misspelling of Alferd can't be attributed to me! Although I didn't notice until it was pointed out...
It was good for a few laughs, anyway. I always designed my kids' costumes to fit over a ski jacket. They needed it most years!

Denver Halloween Snow Statistics
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Old 10-14-2008, 07:12 AM
 
Location: DENVER
1,437 posts, read 4,047,426 times
Reputation: 980
you eat a burrito with a fork
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Old 10-14-2008, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Summit County (Denver's Toilet)
447 posts, read 1,393,063 times
Reputation: 213
"""You've gone snow skiing in July and.....


You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run into both oceans"""

Those two made me laugh!
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