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Old 07-24-2013, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Colorado
2,483 posts, read 3,519,581 times
Reputation: 2674

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado Rambler View Post
by the time European settlers finally made it to America, ecosystems had become balanced again and mankind was much more in harmony with the natural world than he is now.
The also saw the settlers' pet dogs and wondered why they kept them for any reason besides a portable food source. ... and there went the harmony.
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Old 08-05-2013, 01:30 PM
 
1,742 posts, read 2,690,649 times
Reputation: 1925
How those pesky deer have become a problem: (in jest)
It is time that the common myth about deer be dispelled. Deer are portrayed as cuddly, adorable creatures who are soft tempered and friendly. Bambi is an excellent example of this myth. But a myth is all it is. Deer are actually viscous killing machines who love the taste and sight of blood. They are cold and calculating creatures with a desire to hunt and kill that out does the lion. But they don't hunt other animals, they hunt humans. That's right, the deer are plotting to kill humans.
The deer follow a simple plan in order to lure their victims into the ring of death. A small deer will stand quietly and cutely near where a camping family is. Someone sees the deer and points it out to the others. They try to walk near it, it slowly moves away. Some people grow tired of the deer walking away and head back for the camp. But there is always someone who keeps going. The deer gets the victim alone and is suddenly not so damn cute. Before the person can let out a scream, the deer has planted it's antlers into the victims windpipe. Blood drips from the deer antlers and it shakes the victim off its antlers. The horribleness doesn't end there.
The deer then stomps in the head of the victim until the brains are out in the open. The deer eats them and licks all the blood and goo from the skull of the victim. The deer then stabs the body again with the antlers and licks what blood seeps out. The deer then calls for the other deer to come and join in. Other deer arrive and lick the blood off of the first deer antlers. It is a feeding frenzy as the deer devour the body.
Once all the flesh has been eaten off of the victim, the deer dig out a hole with their hooves and shove the body in it. They stomp on the ground until all evidence of a burial is hidden and then have a decision to make. If the deer are still hungry then they go to the camp and do the same to all the others. If they aren't hungry, they vacate the area.
On occasion, a human might have a gun and be able to fight off the deer, and the attack is blamed on rabies. Deer know this and try to foam at the mouth before attacking. In the case of hunters, the deer use a quick agile deer to distract the hunters and other deer attack from behind, driving their antlers through the hunters spines. The deer, however, do not stomp in the brains of the hunters. They devour the rest of the body but leave the head intact.
Once finished devouring the hunter's body, the deer will take the head of the hunter and put it on their antlers. The deer bury the guns and body, then parade the head around the forest, later burning it and then pissing on where it's buried. In cases where there are hunter's lodges, the deer will burst in, kill, and then take the hunters heads and mount them on the antlers of the stuffed deer on the wall. Later, once all the deer have come to take a look at the heads, the hunter heads are buried the same as always, and the deer heads are taken down and buried nicely, and without being pissed on.
In deer urban society, adolescent deer must prove themselves through a rite of passage. Both male and female deer go through this. This teen deer must be willing to sacrifice itself for the good of the other deer. The deer must prove this by either standing on the road or running out in front of a carload of people late at night on a deserted road. If the deer stands its ground and is hit, or sustains an injury, the deer proves itself to the rest of the deer. In some cases the deer does die, but does so with honor. However, in most cases the car swerves to avoid the deer and spins off into the trees, smashes into the trees and is bound to injure the victims inside. The other deer watching emerge from hiding and kick in the windows, then drag the stunned victims into the forest and devour them. The teen deer who survived is now an adult deer and is given the honor of smashing in the head and eating the brains of all the victims.
Deer used to be more docile, but due to hunting, they now all believe that humans are horrible scum sucking bottom dwellers and deserve to die. The deer realize that one day we might catch on and kill them all, but for now the deer are getting their revenge. They know the humans will repopulate and still hunt them down, so they continue killing.
The next time you are near a deer, look in their eyes and notice the bloodthirsty hatred. Never leave yourself or any other person with a deer. The deer in petting zoos are basically decoys, they fool humans into believing that all deer are cute and friendly, but now you know the truth. Stay away from deer. They are killer deer from hell.
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Old 08-06-2013, 10:44 AM
 
5 posts, read 6,269 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by larrytxeast View Post
I say it again--WHO CARES what the wildlife like? If I live there, it's MY property. The elk, the deer, the lions, they don't pay taxes, they don't work their azz off to pay for the mortgage, their name isn't on the papers. MY name is, and I'M the one doing all of the work.

And I'm a human, they're an ANIMAL for pete's sake. WHO CARES what they think?

As long as they leave me alone, fine. The minute they trespass onto MY property and cause problems, it's "bang bang" and "shoot, shovel, shut up" as the response.

Maybe I chose to live in the woods because I don't like people with loud barking dogs and blaring music around me, I want it QUIET. Maybe I also want freedom from stupid homeowner's associations telling me what color I can paint my house or that I have to put a fence around my pool because some neighbor's kids supposedly just can't help but trespass onto my place to enjoy MY pool and then they drown & I'm supposedly liable for that. So I chose to live in the woods to escape all of that, it doesn't mean I'm inviting wildlife onto my place. They can enjoy the surrounding woods, but this plot of land is MINE. They may not know that, but that's their problem, not mine.

Look, I understand wildlife is beautiful. I understand they need to live somewhere. Heck, I don't even have a problem with just leaving it alone & enjoying it as it is for the most part. So long as it LEAVES ME ALONE, I'm totally okay with all of that. (Where I live, we have birds, deer & squirrels, they cause me no harm and I just let them do their thing as they are.) But I'll be darned if I'm going to go along with the idea that wildlife have more rights than me on my own property or in publicly-accessible hiking spots meant for my "getting out in the outdoors" pleasure. They do the same thing in AZ where I used to live, they have mountain lions and by George if you live outside of town you better supervise your kids every nanosecond they play outdoors in THEIR OWN YARD because of the lions. Not here: if such shows up, BANG BANG and the kids go right back to playing, because it's YOUR FREAKING YARD & no animal has more rights than a human of any age. It should be that way EVERYWHERE.

LRH
Your willful ignorance will catch up with you one day bud. That being said, you do realize that you really don't own any property. Sure you might have entered into a financial agreement to receive a title that states your the owner, but when it all boils down to reality, you will die, and the person who inherits your property will die, and so forth (morbid I know but it's reality as far as I can tell), until one day no one has a title stating they are the owner.

I grew up in rural Colorado (bighorn sheep canyon) running around in the hills, yes, with mountain lions around likely, and i'm still alive. This all occurred without armed parental supervision, wow, imagine that. I do agree in wildlife management to an extent, however managing ecological systems is extremely complex.
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Old 08-07-2013, 10:22 AM
 
1,742 posts, read 2,690,649 times
Reputation: 1925
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Old 08-07-2013, 10:27 AM
 
16,508 posts, read 20,906,955 times
Reputation: 47888
Heh heh, I'll bet the fish were in that dumpster at the Eidelweis Restaurant in Colorado Springs which that bear conveniently hijacked! Loved that video!! lol
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Old 08-07-2013, 10:55 AM
 
Location: CO
2,591 posts, read 5,987,611 times
Reputation: 3407
Quote:
Originally Posted by DOUBLE H View Post
Heh heh, I'll bet the fish were in that dumpster at the Eidelweis Restaurant in Colorado Springs which that bear conveniently hijacked! Loved that video!! lol
That was a great video, but I kept wanting to know the rest of the story - where did the bear take the dumpsters, did he get them open, did he also keep a refrigerator nearby to store the food?
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Old 08-07-2013, 10:59 AM
 
1,742 posts, read 2,690,649 times
Reputation: 1925
I'm surprised they don't require bear resistant dumpsters like in Summit County.
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Old 08-07-2013, 08:40 PM
 
Location: The 719
14,498 posts, read 22,345,330 times
Reputation: 13810
Skin that Griz pilgrim!


Can you skin Grizz,Pilgrim? - YouTube

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Old 08-07-2013, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Colorado
2,483 posts, read 3,519,581 times
Reputation: 2674
Quote:
Originally Posted by McGowdog View Post
Favorite movie of all time. Has been since I first saw it.
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Old 08-07-2013, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Littleton, CO
3,111 posts, read 4,883,135 times
Reputation: 5429
Quote:
Originally Posted by larrytxeast View Post
I say it again--WHO CARES what the wildlife like? If I live there, it's MY property. The elk, the deer, the lions, they don't pay taxes, they don't work their azz off to pay for the mortgage, their name isn't on the papers. MY name is, and I'M the one doing all of the work.

And I'm a human, they're an ANIMAL for pete's sake. WHO CARES what they think?

As long as they leave me alone, fine. The minute they trespass onto MY property and cause problems, it's "bang bang" and "shoot, shovel, shut up" as the response.

Maybe I chose to live in the woods because I don't like people with loud barking dogs and blaring music around me, I want it QUIET. Maybe I also want freedom from stupid homeowner's associations telling me what color I can paint my house or that I have to put a fence around my pool because some neighbor's kids supposedly just can't help but trespass onto my place to enjoy MY pool and then they drown & I'm supposedly liable for that. So I chose to live in the woods to escape all of that, it doesn't mean I'm inviting wildlife onto my place. They can enjoy the surrounding woods, but this plot of land is MINE. They may not know that, but that's their problem, not mine.

Look, I understand wildlife is beautiful. I understand they need to live somewhere. Heck, I don't even have a problem with just leaving it alone & enjoying it as it is for the most part. So long as it LEAVES ME ALONE, I'm totally okay with all of that. (Where I live, we have birds, deer & squirrels, they cause me no harm and I just let them do their thing as they are.) But I'll be darned if I'm going to go along with the idea that wildlife have more rights than me on my own property or in publicly-accessible hiking spots meant for my "getting out in the outdoors" pleasure. They do the same thing in AZ where I used to live, they have mountain lions and by George if you live outside of town you better supervise your kids every nanosecond they play outdoors in THEIR OWN YARD because of the lions. Not here: if such shows up, BANG BANG and the kids go right back to playing, because it's YOUR FREAKING YARD & no animal has more rights than a human of any age. It should be that way EVERYWHERE.

LRH
I can guarantee that if you live in the mountains that you are sharing the space with mountain lions. You may not have seen them, but they have seen you. Right now you (and your loved ones) are still alive because the mountain lion decided not to have you for lunch.

I hope you walk around your property with a loaded firearm because if a mountain lion ever decides that you, your loved ones or your pets are worth eating, it will be on you before you can blink, and it will certainly kill someone or some pet before you are able to go into the house to get your gun.
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