former east-coaster -kinda regret moving to co (Colorado Springs: trip , home)

[Charles]

Originally Posted by oberon

Charles,

Just wanted you to know: DEN's wireless is free now. See:
http://www.denverpost.com/business/ci_7585581
http://www.flydenver.com/guide/index.asp (under "Internet Access")

Update. Using it right now waiting for my SWA to BUR. You get free internet after a 30 second commercial. Used www.testmy.net to measure about 1 Mb/s, not bad but there are some stalls.

[rosesanam]

I have been here since May of 2004 and I have not found anybody for me
and my 7 year old. I lived in Ken Caryl for a while and moved to the Denver
down town area hoping there is more diversity and more single parents, but
not much luck. I have tried everything from volunteer work, church, school,
neigbors and walking club. So far nothing.
Good Luck!
h

[hello-world]

Originally Posted by rosesanam

I have been here since May of 2004 and I have not found anybody for me
and my 7 year old. I lived in Ken Caryl for a while and moved to the Denver
down town area hoping there is more diversity and more single parents, but
not much luck. I have tried everything from volunteer work, church, school,
neigbors and walking club. So far nothing.
Good Luck!
h

hi rosesanam.

i think that in some places or regions, if we otherwise need/want to stay there, and we do not want to change our personalities to "adapt" (which i can very much appreciate - there can be strength and richness in diversity; expecting others to "become" like ourselves beyond common courtesy can seem pretty narrow and limiting), patience can be one of the only things to stick by while continuing to do what we might do in any "new" city to meet people. it doesn't seem like you are the only one that feels the way you do about the area, in "this regard". sometimes, it can even take another person of like mind moving in from elsewhere and crossing your path, so one way to look at it might be, "don't obstruct the path, and don't let 'it' beat you".

[Lotuslion]

I don't live in Colorado (yet), but I have lived in 7 states and two countries, so maybe I can give some general "moving to a new place" advice. The posters who have said to give yourself some time are absolutely right. It takes a good six months to really get over any sort of culture shock (and you don't need to travel internationally for that - it happens moving from one place to another within the US too), and probably a year to really feel settled and "at home" in your new place. Moving is hard, especially when, as it's been pointed out, your new home is so different from where you grew up. I would agree with the suggestions to get involved with some kind of group - when we moved to DC, we joined a group from Meetup.com, and met some very wonderful friends through it. My husband is a mountain biker and homebrews beer, so he found other guys that were into the same hobbies through similar groups. We also met people through our university's alumni association (we're both Penn Staters) and work. It takes some time, but don't give up yet - hopefully the advice and sympathy on here will help you to not feel so alone as you adjust.

For a counterpoint, I spent most of my life in the west, although in different states, and moving to the east coast was by far the hardest for me. I thought people were unfriendly and cold, with more of a "keeping up with the Joneses" attitude (I'd never heard the term "old money" until I moved East), I didn't like the weather, I didn't like the scenery. Other people I met here who'd moved from the west felt the same, but we all eventually adjusted and made friends here - in fact, some of my best friends I made on the East Coast. I still prefer the west to here, but I guess I just wanted to point out that feelings of culture shock and trouble settling in somewhere new are not exactly unique to a state or region. Good luck to you!

[hello-world]

Originally Posted by Lotuslion

I don't live in Colorado (yet), but I have lived in 7 states and two countries, so maybe I can give some general "moving to a new place" advice. The posters who have said to give yourself some time are absolutely right. It takes a good six months to really get over any sort of culture shock (and you don't need to travel internationally for that - it happens moving from one place to another within the US too), and probably a year to really feel settled and "at home" in your new place. Moving is hard, especially when, as it's been pointed out, your new home is so different from where you grew up. I would agree with the suggestions to get involved with some kind of group - when we moved to DC, we joined a group from Meetup.com, and met some very wonderful friends through it. My husband is a mountain biker and homebrews beer, so he found other guys that were into the same hobbies through similar groups. We also met people through our university's alumni association (we're both Penn Staters) and work. It takes some time, but don't give up yet - hopefully the advice and sympathy on here will help you to not feel so alone as you adjust.

For a counterpoint, I spent most of my life in the west, although in different states, and moving to the east coast was by far the hardest for me. I thought people were unfriendly and cold, with more of a "keeping up with the Joneses" attitude (I'd never heard the term "old money" until I moved East), I didn't like the weather, I didn't like the scenery. Other people I met here who'd moved from the west felt the same, but we all eventually adjusted and made friends here - in fact, some of my best friends I made on the East Coast. I still prefer the west to here, but I guess I just wanted to point out that feelings of culture shock and trouble settling in somewhere new are not exactly unique to a state or region. Good luck to you!

this is interesting. for one, rosesanam explains that s/he has been in the denver metro for coming up on 4 years. it's been much more than a year. and i have seen others that have found it difficult to "break in" or get through the "personal bubble" for years, here. rosesanam also explains that s/he has tried all the conventional routes for those years - worship, volunteering, moving to another part of the city with more diversity (though not much - there isn't much diversity, or integration at least), etc.: not cosmopolitan or "sophisticated" (as rose mentioned as a preference, if recall correctly). i do imagine that to be "different", exotically ethnic, artsy, or intellectual and to not be so inclined to look like another, well, very similar looking and acting person can be especially repercussive in this region. i suspect rosesanam might be from another country or ethnicity (? correct me if i'm wrong on that), and i can imagine that being especially special in some ways for some people here.

and you mention the "keeping up with the joneses". i personally found that to be much more the case in suburban washington DC than most anywhere else in the northeast. i suppose i could imagine some more of that in westchester, long island, maybe a bit more around boston or some of suburban philadelphia. though in each of those places, it is very easy to find more people from the spectrum throughout the city, e.g., than it can be in metro denver; it can seem pretty suburban and relatively middle-american even through much of the city, here. i have rarely seen it so pervasively "joneses" as i have in the denver metro. not that it's TOTALLY that way, but more so, in my view. you're right, it's not about "old money" - "old school" is a bit scoffed at here, sometimes. there is definitely a more general "uniformity" or conformity (at least in many quarters) here than anywhere i saw on either coast, for example. thus why i mentioned that some places can take an ESPECIALLY long time, so patience can really come in handy, as you, too, said.

that you got some similar things that i hear from easterners moving west as a westerner moving east is pretty interesting, though i suppose suburban DC (right?) can probably be a bit like that.

[hello-world]

rosesanam-

ps...i have a hunch that ken caryl might have had at least a bit to do with some of your experience, as i know that around littleton it can be a bit (lot) less "diverse" (or multi-culturally rich or whatever), as you'd mentioned. i also wonder if it could help to seek a bit more for other single parents (? correct me if i'm wrong, but it seems it's just you and your 7 year old).

anyhow, best wishes.

[Katiana]

Someone from California brought up the "old money" concept in a Highlands Ranch thread, something I had never heard growing up in Pittsburgh. I did hear it in college, also in Pittsburgh, from the kids from Philadelphia. Back in Pittsburgh, most of us were neither "old money" nor "new money", but "no money".

[hello-world]

Originally Posted by pittnurse70

Someone from California brought up the "old money" concept in a Highlands Ranch thread, something I had never heard growing up in Pittsburgh. I did hear it in college, also in Pittsburgh, from the kids from Philadelphia. Back in Pittsburgh, most of us were neither "old money" nor "new money", but "no money".

oh pittnurse, that's so "old school".

[Lotuslion]

hello-world,

I was specifically replying to the original poster, who I believe moved to CO in August, but you make a fair point about rosesanam's experience. I obviously can't speak about the atmosphere in CO, as I've never lived there, but it's too bad that rosesanam hasn't been able to "break in" - I wish him/her luck though. I've never lived anywhere longer than 4 years, so it's hard for me to comment on that - additionally, because I moved so often, I tend to adjust fairly quickly to new areas.

We just moved to suburban DC in March 2006, so we haven't been here that long - I lived in State College, PA for school before that, as did my husband (although he's originally from York, PA.) I've had a pretty wide range of experiences, from rural to suburban to urban on both coasts, plus some places in between. DC is very different from the rest of the northeast, you're right about that, but the feeling of unfriendliness I experienced in both PA and upstate NY. I've had a lot of what I thought were unnecessarily competitive conversations with people about issues regarding status and class. Perhaps "keeping up with the Joneses" wasn't the proper expression - it's more like classism. And to be fair, it's been about 10 years since I've lived in the west, so things might have changed. I just wanted to make the point that it's hard to adjust to a very different culture, no matter where you're from or where you moved. I've had friends who moved from east to west and had similar experiences to mine, too.

For the record, DC is pretty soulless. I'm a pretty Type A person, and this city is too cut-throat competitive, aggressive, and overly ambitious even for me. There are much better places in the east to live - I think we're just kind of tired of this region and looking for a change.

[Lotuslion]

Pittnurse -

The first person I heard mention it to me when I moved east was from NJ, just across from Philly. Of course, I'm really of the opinion that PA should seriously be two states, because the eastern side is so, so different from the west. Really good friends of mine are from Pittsburgh, by the way.