former east-coaster -kinda regret moving to co (Denver, Boulder: home, rent)

[lovesunnydays]

For what it's worth, on the diversity measure and fitting in, I'm as caucasian, un-ethnic, mild-mannered as they come. The only diversity issue for my daughter and me is that I'm a single parent. Unfortunately, "family-oriented" often means families with two parents. In all fairness, I believe that's true for most anywhere, not just colorado. The problem in relocating, though, is that you can't always go by the single with children stats, or get the fine-tuned numbers for a specific area or school. Overall Littleton says 7.5%, but it's a huge area. I'm sure ken-caryl is much lower (but I don't know where a home-seeker could find that out before moving and finding out too late - except by anecdotes on this forum ).

Ironically, I fared much better making friends in nyc. My daughter was in private school there, so comparing that school to her public school here is comparing apples and oranges, but the parents at her nyc school smiled at other parents and said hello, even if they weren't yet introduced. The nyc school had a dinner at the beginning of the year to welcome new incoming families. Here, I've even joined the pta and volunteered at pta events, but other mothers, pta or otherwise, don't give me the time of day. I don't get it!

I'm going to house hunt this spring back east in va or nc which ultimately feels more like home. This time around, I'm prone to think "best" neigbhorhoods (like in Sterling's Best Affordable Places to Raise a Family), might mean mostly nuclear, two-parent families and that we have a better chance of fitting in if I look for maybe less affluent neighborhoods. Or maybe it's the urban vs suburban factor that more influences the composition - but I really prefer suburban/rural. I have a married friend who moved to bradenton, fl, and she always meets single mothers. In fact, I send her care packages to give to those mothers with my daughter's outgrown clothes - which I can't even give away in this neighborhood. Even Once Upon a Child rejected half the bag I tried to donate (including new things from gymboree)!

I do love that colorado sun in winter, though!

[dynimagelv]

Originally Posted by Nique

I also felt claustrophobic and closed-in with all of the trees everywhere; it bothered me that you couldn't see the city stretching to the horizon, because all the lights and skylines were blocked by trees.

I had the same problem when I moved to NJ in 79.....I grew up in eastern CO and lived in Las Vegas NV for many years.....even standing on the boardwalk in Atlantic City.....I knew it was only something like 6 miles to the horizon.....I was used to pikes peak 70 miles away lol

[Kate777]

Hi there,

Yes, I would agree after living in CO for 20 years I would say it is over-rated.

I am former east coaster also. I moved here about 21 years ago. I have loved it for a long time, but over the last several years the brown/dry scenery and climate has really gotten to me. Like you say the trees just aren't here. It's a whole different terrain, and like you I miss the East. I was wondering if you might want to talk on the phone?

[drkc]

I moved to the same neighborhood -Ken Caryl Valley in July '07 from NJ/NY. I HATED the east coast - congestion/terribly high cost of living (I looked at $1M teardowns with 20K in property taxes)/grey skies. And I didn't find the people very welcoming there (but I moved to the Northeast from GA so I had different expectations). I am definitely in love with CO! And my neighbors are so great....
I think if you love the outdoors, you'll love it here. It's all about preferences. Perhaps this is not for you just like NY wasn't for me.
If you want to meet other single moms you could try a meetup group. There are couple of them in the area

Highlands Ranch Single Moms Meetup Group (Littleton, CO) - Meetup.com

The Denver & Douglas County Single Parents Meetup Group (Littleton, CO) - Meetup.com

[livecontent]

I grew up in New York. When I was a child there were many people who were alive who came to this country during the great wave of immigration from Europe between 1880s and 1920s.

I am of Sicilian roots and my grandparents all came from Sicily. I can remember them and other relatives talking about how they missed the villages of sicily, the food, the society and the weather. To think about it, the weather must have been quite a shock to come from a meditteranean climate to the harse brutalities of a New York winter. There were Polish, Germans and many eastern Europeans in my youth who talked about what they missed. Again the food, the society and the weather. But most of all I realized that what most of these people missed was the memories of their youth.

Their memories would give good when there was bad; their memories would give abundance when there was hunger; their memories would give impression of how everybody got along but the reality was severe and deadly conflicts. Their memoires would paint a picture of beautiful villages but in reality they were poor hovels on the edge of aristocratic abundance. For the realities they came here, but for some their memories invented reasons why they should never have left.

I am saying this because I have noticed the same type of betrayal of memories of people who move here to Colorado from areas in the east. They left for the realities of poor employment opportunities, bad weather, cities that were having problems, and many for the wanderlust of youth, to see new horizons.

When you grow up in a place, that place is always part of you. It creates memories that are many times much greater than the realities. You are remembering your youth with maudlin thoughts, especially when you start to suffer the affirmities of age.

I am very happy in Colorado but I know that some of the comparisons that I make with New York are only the callings of a lost youth. We in Colorado from the “old world” east are the immigrants to the “new world” west. We will also have our memories but do not let your memories lead you into the future. Only remember enough to help you live the present; do not remember too much to prevent you from living the future. With these thoughts I Livecontent.

[Marie-O]

This is just what I was looking for. My husband and I are now in Panhandle of TX (both from the East Coast). I'm from Upstate NY and he's from Virginia and North Carolina area. We really have had a hard time with the Panhandle of Texas for a few reasons. And thought that the Denver area sounded more like an "outdoorsy" place to live. People rave about it here, and have many summer homes up there. but it's all relative, because quite frankly anywhere is more scenic than here. But after reading some of the posts, it makes me reconsider. I love rainy days, lush trees, lakes of the Northeast and I'm not sure how I would adapt to Colorado. We'll have to go check it out for ourselves. But I really want our next move to be where we stay for a while (have a young daughter). I'm looking for a place and lifestyle that has great outdoors things to do, really want to get out of the suburb type living-maybe live in the woods, but want sophistication nearby when I need it. Does this sound like things I can have in Colorado Springs area? Any thoughts?

[livecontent]

Originally Posted by Marie-O

This is just what I was looking for. My husband and I are now in Panhandle of TX (both from the East Coast). I'm from Upstate NY and he's from Virginia and North Carolina area. We really have had a hard time with the Panhandle of Texas for a few reasons. And thought that the Denver area sounded more like an "outdoorsy" place to live. People rave about it here, and have many summer homes up there. but it's all relative, because quite frankly anywhere is more scenic than here. But after reading some of the posts, it makes me reconsider. I love rainy days, lush trees, lakes of the Northeast and I'm not sure how I would adapt to Colorado. We'll have to go check it out for ourselves. But I really want our next move to be where we stay for a while (have a young daughter). I'm looking for a place and lifestyle that has great outdoors things to do, really want to get out of the suburb type living-maybe live in the woods, but want sophistication nearby when I need it. Does this sound like things I can have in Colorado Springs area? Any thoughts?

I grew up in Western New York and I do think that you need to understand the real nature of this area, to make a decision. I moved here from Texas almost 30 years ago. This is an post I gave to another person from "Upstate".

Denver - Climate - GOOD, BAD, TREES, SOIL,FLOWERS ???

Livecontent

[hello-world]

Originally Posted by livecontent

I grew up in New York. When I was a child there were many people who were alive who came to this country during the great wave of immigration from Europe between 1880s and 1920s.

I am of Sicilian roots and my grandparents all came from Sicily. I can remember them and other relatives talking about how they missed the villages of sicily, the food, the society and the weather. To think about it, the weather must have been quite a shock to come from a meditteranean climate to the harse brutalities of a New York winter. There were Polish, Germans and many eastern Europeans in my youth who talked about what they missed. Again the food, the society and the weather. But most of all I realized that what most of these people missed was the memories of their youth.

Their memories would give good when there was bad; their memories would give abundance when there was hunger; their memories would give impression of how everybody got along but the reality was severe and deadly conflicts. Their memoires would paint a picture of beautiful villages but in reality they were poor hovels on the edge of aristocratic abundance. For the realities they came here, but for some their memories invented reasons why they should never have left.

I am saying this because I have noticed the same type of betrayal of memories of people who move here to Colorado from areas in the east. They left for the realities of poor employment opportunities, bad weather, cities that were having problems, and many for the wanderlust of youth, to see new horizons.

When you grow up in a place, that place is always part of you. It creates memories that are many times much greater than the realities. You are remembering your youth with maudlin thoughts, especially when you start to suffer the affirmities of age.

I am very happy in Colorado but I know that some of the comparisons that I make with New York are only the callings of a lost youth. We in Colorado from the “old world” east are the immigrants to the “new world” west. We will also have our memories but do not let your memories lead you into the future. Only remember enough to help you live the present; do not remember too much to prevent you from living the future. With these thoughts I Livecontent.

i suppose you might be right that there are some tricks of the memories. i think there can also be some "perspective" that may be fair enough in terms of gauging a place in relative terms. some "there was good and abd, as there is some good and bad with it here...these are the some of the things that are appalling about here, and relative to other places i've experienced; these are some of the things that are nice here relatively". seems many people love the climate and the mountains in colorado, by and large, while they might be concerned with the human impacts on the area and some of the experience with tremendous rapid growth. they might miss some of the "community" feel of previous places, some of the older authenticity of some things there versus some of the more rampant disposable consumerism of another place, while not missing some of the "economic frustration" or weather-gloom, for example (e.g., some of the PA or NY complaints i read on the thread here, e.g.).

overall, i think part why the front range is growing so much and so fast (and maybe not as "community like" as some other places) may be in part due ot the possibility that relative to many places in the nation, it can be pretty pleasant and liveable, even wonderful, if people give it a chance or if people can love what it has to offer while ignoring some of the other things people sense and complain about.

[Tim Rankin]

Originally Posted by livecontent

I am of Sicilian roots and my grandparents all came from Sicily. I can remember them and other relatives talking about how they missed the villages of sicily, the food, the society and the weather. To think about it, the weather must have been quite a shock to come from a meditteranean climate to the harse brutalities of a New York winter../..I am saying this because I have noticed the same type of betrayal of memories of people who move here to Colorado from areas in the east. They left for the realities of poor employment opportunities, bad weather, cities that were having problems, and many for the wanderlust of youth, to see new horizons../..when you grow up in a place, that place is always part of you. It creates memories that are many times much greater than the realities.

There is a lot of truth to what livecontent says. We have very selective memories, and often memorialize the good, while conveniently forgetting the bad. Transitioning to a new area can be very difficult, especially when it's so far away and everything is so different.

I imagine livecontent's ancestors might have been happier moving to one of the US's mediterranean climates, in southern CA. It would of reminded them somewhat of home. I read once that a lot of eastern european immigrants moved to Ohio, because the vast beech forests there reminded them of home.

But ultimately, we have to see the beauty in a new place to learn to really appreciate it. I live out west now, and if I ever move, I will really miss the amazing variety of high-desert wildflowers, and surreal vistas, that are an everyday part of life. But I can't help but miss the beautiful hardwood forests and idyllic small towns that I knew most of my life, growing up back east.

[hello-world]

Originally Posted by Tim Rankin

There is a lot of truth to what livecontent says. We have very selective memories, and often memorialize the good, while conveniently forgetting the bad. Transitioning to a new area can be very difficult, especially when it's so far away and everything is so different.

and perhaps when it acceleratingly stokes nonsustainability, or perspectives that might stoke more inter-perspectival (look that word up ) strife...