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Old Yesterday, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Aurora, CO
6,450 posts, read 9,994,237 times
Reputation: 9544

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My wife's done a couple hikes with me, but it's really not her thing. I still ask her if she wants to go along out of courtesy knowing full well she'll likely decline. It is what it is.

 
Old Yesterday, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,602 posts, read 22,808,011 times
Reputation: 36918
Quote:
Originally Posted by willc86 View Post
So I get it, I am obsessed with dirtbiking and ATVing. for years ive been trying to get her to ride a ATV or small kids dirtbike but she is scared or something, she wont do it.

So now, I came up with an idea. I will remodel a part of the house if she completes one easy trail. Im very handy and can pretty much do electrical, tiles, flooring, roofing etc so I am trying to use this to my advantage.

If she told me she wanted a 1000 polaris ATV I will go in right now to get one for her! but sadly not sure if there is a way to "trick" her into liking the outdoors
Ie: if she asks for a toy I really really want I'll jump right on it; if she wants something that might improve the value of our largest financial asset, she'll need to do something she doesn't want to in order to "earn it" from me.

Great. Let us know how this works out for you.

I agree this is a Relationship issue, not a Colorado issue.

Last edited by maciesmom; Yesterday at 04:23 PM..
 
Old Yesterday, 04:41 PM
 
438 posts, read 128,820 times
Reputation: 1224
Why not allow her to have the things she enjoys and you enjoy yours? Does she try to force you to participate in her hobbies?

if it was so important to you to be married to someone who enjoys the outdoors and/or dirtbiking, then why did you marry someone who doesn't? (And then try to change her...)
 
Old Yesterday, 04:44 PM
 
875 posts, read 1,016,421 times
Reputation: 1605
Just a shot in the dark here- has she made some mention about you spending a large amount of time engaged in these activities to the detriment of your relationship with her?

If so and your answer is to bribe her into participating so you donít have to limit your time in the activity- you may want to do some re-evaluation regarding your priorities.
 
Old Yesterday, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Where the mountains touch the sky
4,852 posts, read 5,682,090 times
Reputation: 8174
Why not find out what she likes?

I love hunting, fishing, trapping, winter camping etc. The wife's father was a hunter, so she will go hunting. Doesn't have the patience for fishing, if ice fishing you better have a hut with a good heater.

Forget winter camping. However, she does like summer camping, she loves shooting and gopher hunting. She likes collecting wild berries and foods. She loves raising and training dogs, so she is starting to learn to handle a dog team, and using them for packing and hunting small game.

Neither of us is into ATVs or motorcycles, especially when hunting, but we have found areas where our interests overlap. I know better than to try to force her to freeze winter camping, ice fishing or running trap lines, but we can still share sports that take place when it's warmer.
Instead of taking her elk hunting when it's deep snow and zero degrees, I take her antelope hunting when it's dry and 70 degrees.

You can ride a 2, 3 or 4 wheeler on any track, doesn't have to be out in the wild. Perhaps your wife would feel more comfortable on a regulated track.
Or you can see what she enjoys, and see how that could mesh with the outdoors.

Some folks just don't enjoy dirt and cold and biting insects, your wife may be one of them. Trying to force, trick or bribe them won't make them like it, they'll just be going through the motions and resenting you for making them do it.
 
Old Yesterday, 07:30 PM
Status: "5 breweries within 6 blocks of my house" (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: The Berk in Denver, CO USA
13,803 posts, read 19,819,121 times
Reputation: 22181
Is Divorce Court still on TV?
 
Old Yesterday, 10:26 PM
 
Location: Na'alehu Hawaii/Buena Vista Colorado
4,794 posts, read 9,475,705 times
Reputation: 4799
Quote:
Originally Posted by davebarnes View Post
Is Divorce Court still on TV?
Good one
 
Old Yesterday, 11:41 PM
 
5,039 posts, read 2,571,059 times
Reputation: 9204
Quote:
Originally Posted by willc86 View Post
So I get it, I am obsessed with dirtbiking and ATVing. for years ive been trying to get her to ride a ATV or small kids dirtbike but she is scared or something, she wont do it.

So now, I came up with an idea. I will remodel a part of the house if she completes one easy trail. Im very handy and can pretty much do electrical, tiles, flooring, roofing etc so I am trying to use this to my advantage.

If she told me she wanted a 1000 polaris ATV I will go in right now to get one for her! but sadly not sure if there is a way to "trick" her into liking the outdoors
Trick her into liking dirt bikes and ATVs? Nope, it wonít work, and thatís a good thing. How would you like it if she didnít give a dmn about the house and wanted to trick you into (continuing the gender-divide crap here) attending quilting bees with her? And she would buy you a sewing machine that she wants, ostensibly to ďtreatĒ you?

Manipulating people for your own benefit is evil, especially when itís done to your own spouse or friend.


Sorryótricking a dog into swallowing pills that it needs ainít in the same league as your idea!
 
Old Today, 05:23 AM
 
4,193 posts, read 1,199,283 times
Reputation: 2635
I wouldn't consider the noise of such things as 'the outdoors,' and maybe she feels the same.
 
Old Today, 09:13 AM
 
798 posts, read 488,516 times
Reputation: 441
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
THIS! OP, her issue may not be "the outdoors". It may be the noisy ATV, and safety concerns riding a dirt bike on trails. And YOUR love of the outdoors seems to be integrally entwined with those vehicles. Why not explore options for meeting in the middle somewhere, like hiking, or fishing, camping with air mattresses and a big tent, or whatever floats her boat? Does that sound boring to you? If so, you may have to accept taking separate vacations or weekends part of the time, and finding something else you can do together, for other vacation times and weekends. Beach? Hawaii? Weekend lake getaways?

Marriage is an institution that provides people much opportunity to learn the art of compromise. Try it; you might like it.

It does not matter what part of the outdoors it is, she wont like it, whether it is camping, fishing, hiking, etc. Was just wondering if anyone had a spouse who did not like the outdoors and maybe overtime they ended up liking it overtime or something.

As far as traveling, yeah, we usually go to the places she wants to go which involves, beaches, tropics, dining, etc. which is every month. I hate concerts, still go to em for her, hate flying on planes, but still do it for her.

But I get it, I dont compromise, I am just too greedy to get her to go do something outdoors in Colorado for once with me. Man I am so F-ing selfish. Figured I'll be asking for too much in a Colorado forum where it was considered the no1 outdoors state; who am I kidding.
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