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Old 03-19-2007, 09:51 AM
 
5,748 posts, read 10,504,424 times
Reputation: 4494

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Of course, Colorado Springs! (Hand smacks forehead.) Sometimes I'm a bit obtuse.

I get the reference to church ladies now, and I have definitely met a few (in my own church, no less). I hope I haven't been one of them, but the fact is, I probably have. Recognition is the first step of recovery, right?

I wish I could explain what I'm experiencing. It probably has a lot more to do with me than them. Moving is extremely challenging. It takes a long time to develop friendships, and I'm lonely. Things will probably get better when we buy a house, because I'll be more committed to finding common ground with our neighbors.

Part of my experience has to do with my stage in life (early forties) and my impatience with cliques. Douglas County is young (early to mid-thirties) in most of the newer neighborhoods, and, make no mistake about it, parents (especially mothers) of elementary schoolers can be some of the nastiest and most judgmental people on earth.

Someone in this thread asked when the conversation goes sour. It usually results from a comment like, "I bet you find real estate really affordable here," after they find out we've lived in CA, while they look me up and down and check out the parking lot for the Hummer they assume I'm driving. (I don't, btw, and generally find them to be an obnoxious example of affluence run amok.) How exactly am I supposed to respond to that question? It's not a question, it's an accusation. It's gotten so bad that I just say we've lived in many places, which is true, or I tell then I grew up in Ohio when someone asks where we lived previously.

And, we don't get along with the Californians either. I met a real estate "investor" the other day while waiting for an appointment. She went on and on about her huge house and eight acres near Larkspur. I wanted to throttle her, thinking all the while, "You, my dear, are exactly why I am having trouble making friends!" And, yes, she drove a Hummer.

Anyway, I fear I have shared too much. Thanks for the responses.

2bindenver...Monkey county! Small world. We lived in Howard county.
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Old 03-19-2007, 10:12 AM
 
Location: Old Forge, NY
585 posts, read 1,950,091 times
Reputation: 196
Well, the type of people that'll become good friends aren't the type that'll judge you for where you come from.

Just be honest. Say you moved here to be closer to family and if someone mentions the real estate thing just say it was tough to make ends meet in CA.

I am personally blind to cliques (probably to a fault), I think they are overexaggerated sometimes. Getting past that takes a little humor and openness. I'm not sure why you said you shared too much, that's a concern if you wanna make friends.
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Old 03-19-2007, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
739 posts, read 2,675,981 times
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Hi- we live in the city of Denver and I rarely meet someone that is from here. we've been here 8 years and most people I meet seem to have relocated from California b/c of the skyrocketing prices and overcrowding. That is interesting about Douglas county. We love the city, but sometimes get the urge to move south, especially as our daughter nears school age. I guess I feel that our neighborhood is pretty liberal in general- is it really that conservative out there? Not that it is a bad thing but is it all "keeping up with the joneses",etc??? Sorry you are having a tough time, but I have not found it to be the norm. In fact, I feel Denver is more accepting of outsiders since so many people WERE outsiders. that said, from my experience people who grew up here, tend to stay in those same cliques (my husband's cousins grew up here and I have found them to be that way- have all the same old high school friends and don't hang out w/ anyone else really)
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Old 03-19-2007, 01:51 PM
Status: "October is the eighth month" (set 20 days ago)
 
Location: Just south of Denver since 1989
10,678 posts, read 28,495,910 times
Reputation: 6842
Focus on what you want, what you believe you deserve.

I have no idea where in Castle Rock you are now, or about price range or what you guys are looking for - but move away from where you are now.

And PM me if you want to meet nice ladies who bowl on Monday mornings on the fall league...even if you do not know how to bowl.

Everybody deserves to have one more friend.
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Old 03-19-2007, 04:44 PM
 
5,748 posts, read 10,504,424 times
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The universe works in mysterious ways. I met a couple of really nice women at the local Chick-fil-A today while our kids were playing. When I asked them about what they liked and disliked about the area, they really opened up. Interestingly, when I brought up a particular neighborhood, one said "Oh, I think that area is snobby and people spend too much time keeping up with the Jones's," and the other woman nodded vigorously in agreement. I almost laughed out loud, because that was the same impression I had of the area. They gave me some good suggestions for alternatives, and they warned me away from a street that had traffic problems, which I appreciated immensely.

So, I'm definitely feeling better. Thanks for all your comments, especially you, 2bindenver. I don't bowl, but I appreciate the invitation.
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Old 03-19-2007, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,967 posts, read 98,814,535 times
Reputation: 31381
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2bindenver View Post

I have never seen, or heard of transplant discrimination before. It seems to me that if you are looking for a new place, that would be a reason that some people would not want to establish a relationship with you..
I simply do not believe that! When we moved here, 27 yrs ago, everyone was down on easterners, supposedly for despoiling the state. We moved away, moved back 18 yrs ago. At that time, it was the Californians who were getting the s***. And the Texans are always getting it! At my kids' elementary school, one of the teachers who is always preaching "diversity" wrote a skit making fun of Texans that was performed by kids for some parents' night.

I also do not take well to "blaming the victim", which goes on a lot on all these forums.
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Old 03-30-2007, 09:15 AM
CTC
 
Location: Pagosa Springs, CO/North Port,FL
661 posts, read 1,154,248 times
Reputation: 572
I moved to Colorado from Cal a few years ago and have never had any problems. I live in Gypsum (between Glenwood Springs and Avon) where just about everyone comes from some other state. If you don't try and tell the locals how to live their life (being anti hunting is an example) and give a friendly wave when you pass one of those pickup trucks with a gun rack, you will be fine. The life long locals I have met have been very friendly and non judemental (as opposed to the PNW where California is really looked down upon)

Texans are not liked all that much around here. Some of them are pretty obnoxiuos and loud- and wear fake western garb-just a very different state of mind that rubs the locals the wrong way. Not all just some.

I have not heard negative comments about California.
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Old 04-02-2007, 01:47 PM
 
4 posts, read 14,133 times
Reputation: 16
Yeah I moved to CO a year ago from WA...haven't noticed the CA slack at all. In Washington it's definitely there but i haven't really heard much since i've been in Colorado. The Texans get a lot of slack here more than i've ever seen.

If anything the one thing I love about CO is that everyone drives like a Californian on the highway, i've never seen so many people hauling ass on I-70. In WA the slow people always took up the lanes and went slow and in CA they just haul ass to get everywhere. At least here in CO they haul ass as well.
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Old 04-02-2007, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Denver
20 posts, read 83,952 times
Reputation: 18
If they find out that you lived in California, talk about all of the bad things about California, and all of the good things about Colorado. P.S.Where do people get the idea that Colorado is all about Cowboy boots and such? That's a big mistake to be thinking that, and if you say that to a person in Denver, they will do the same thing I would do to you: Tackle you, and pin you down by the neck with my spur (LOL! ) Just kidding, we'd kill you.
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Old 04-03-2007, 02:10 AM
 
476 posts, read 2,088,603 times
Reputation: 190
Quote:
Originally Posted by shaybdr View Post
Yeah I moved to CO a year ago from WA...haven't noticed the CA slack at all. In Washington it's definitely there but i haven't really heard much since i've been in Colorado. The Texans get a lot of slack here more than i've ever seen.

If anything the one thing I love about CO is that everyone drives like a Californian on the highway, i've never seen so many people hauling ass on I-70. In WA the slow people always took up the lanes and went slow and in CA they just haul ass to get everywhere. At least here in CO they haul ass as well.
LOL, this post is so funny - "At least here in CO they haul ass as well"! True people in Colorado do drive fast. Just they way you said it was so funny. Thanks for the laugh!
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