Fitting In (Denver, Colorado Springs, Ken Caryl: fit in, rental, house)

[formercalifornian]

Another thread inspired me to ask the following question:

As a newcomer to Colorado, what can I do to avoid becoming the inspiration for complaints from long-time residents, who sometimes treat me with outright hostility when they realize I'm a recent transplant? Is this just to be expected?

I plan to stay here long-term, and I would like to establish good relationships with my neighbors, but the minute people find out I've lived in California, they seem to shut down.

Any advice?

[2bindenver]

start wearing cowboy boots and a cowboy hat, get yourself a four wheel drive truck and put a gun rack up.



Seriously the secret to developing relationships is to ask questions. Pay attention to the answers and look people in the eye.

p.s. go buy yourself some cowboy boots, you will feel better.

[formercalifornian]

The cowboy boots? Not happening.

Your other advice is good, and it's something at which I work very hard. I'm not giving up, but sometimes I feel discouraged and wonder if we haven't made a grave error in moving here.

[Katarina Witt]

Originally Posted by formercalifornian

Another thread inspired me to ask the following question:

As a newcomer to Colorado, what can I do to avoid becoming the inspiration for complaints from long-time residents, who sometimes treat me with outright hostility when they realize I'm a recent transplant? Is this just to be expected?

I plan to stay here long-term, and I would like to establish good relationships with my neighbors, but the minute people find out I've lived in California, they seem to shut down.

Any advice?

Probably don't say "back in California they did it THIS way". Other than that, I have no suggestions. I remember the hostility when I came here, too, and I didn't say or do anything antagonistic. Find some other Californians to hang out with.

[2bindenver]

Why on earth would you publically say you have made a "grave error" in moving here?

What was the decision process, the relocation process, are you living in church based housing?

If you don't like the location of your home, change it. Next time knock on some doors. You seem to be in the fluke section.

Douglas County is very affluent, it is not COS. Highly educated people don't act like that unless they are very unchristian.

[formercalifornian]

I apologize if I have offended you, 2bindenver.

When I say I wonder if I made a grave error, it means that I fear I won't ever fit in. In our neighborhood, my family is the most liberal of the group, and I find myself biting my tongue a lot. I don't expect Douglas County to suddenly become a Democratic strong-hold. We knew what we were getting into, but over the long-haul, I wonder if I'll ever be able to develop honest friendships, in which I don't have to hide my opinions.

We are currently living in a rental house and plan to purchase this summer. We rented so that we would have time to "knock on some doors" as you suggested.

You asked about our relocation process. My in-laws live in Ken-Caryl Valley, which is the reason we moved to Colorado. My husband also landed his dream job here, after 18-months of employment hell working for a government contractor in Maryland. I loved MD, but the job wasn't worth it. We live in Douglas County because my spouse commutes between northern CO Springs & the DTC, so it cuts down on his commute times.

I agree that parts of Douglas County are very affluent, but I'm stumped by your acronym "COS." And, no we don't live in church-based housing. I don't understand why you would ask that question. Can you clarify?

[PartyOf5]

Originally Posted by formercalifornian

Another thread inspired me to ask the following question:

As a newcomer to Colorado, what can I do to avoid becoming the inspiration for complaints from long-time residents, who sometimes treat me with outright hostility when they realize I'm a recent transplant? Is this just to be expected?

I plan to stay here long-term, and I would like to establish good relationships with my neighbors, but the minute people find out I've lived in California, they seem to shut down.

Any advice?

Can you define "outright hostility"? Do verbal exchanges go fine, the all of a sudden neighbors get hostile when they realize you're a transplant(or that you're a transplant from CA)?

Sorry to be so curious but your situation sounds out of the norm. Are you open to sharing some of your conversations that lead to neighbors shutting down? Could be helpful for other readers who are looking to move to Denver.

FYI: I believe "COS" is acronym for Colorado Springs.

[janetjanetbobanet]

COS means Colorado Springs. I didn't get the church-based housing thing, either, but I don't live there yet. I would keep looking around for the right neighborhood. I have very liberal family members who moved there, and they are happy and have found friends. I've spent considerable time in Colorado over the years, and I know not everyone in the area is conservative. I plan to add one more liberal (myself) to the area in the near future.

[2bindenver]

Originally Posted by formercalifornian

...what can I do to avoid becoming the inspiration for complaints from long-time residents, who sometimes treat me with outright hostility when they realize I'm a recent transplant?

I was guessing, incorrectly, about the current housing situation, given the "inspiration" part of the above quote. I took it to mean gossip. The best in class gossips are IMO church ladies.

I have never seen, or heard of transplant discrimination before. It seems to me that if you are looking for a new place, that would be a reason that some people would not want to establish a relationship with you.

Everybody came from somewhere. Your neighboors aren't Native Americans. I feel for you that you temporarily landed in an unhappy place...but you can fix that and live the life you dreamed of.

BTW, Ken Caryl is nice. So are parts of Maryland. I grew up in Monkey County (before the budget crisis) Sometimes I think DougCo is very similar to Monkey County. Less trees, more views, less traffic, less crabs, nicer people.

[Rumblebelly]

Originally Posted by 2bindenver

Everybody came from somewhere. Your neighboors aren't Native Americans. I feel for you that you temporarily landed in an unhappy place...but you can fix that and live the life you dreamed of.

Totally agree. Most people living in the front range are not from Colorado. The past 10 years I've been here, I know waaaaay more people that are from out of state (CA, NY, NJ, VT, TX, NE, IL, IA, WA, OR, GA.....) than I know natives. I'm not a native and I have never been discriminated against. Also, I don't know anyone personally that has been discriminated.