Funny things heard by tech support people (DVD, keyboard, sound)

[J Arp]

Oh god, I do the IT thing. I wish I kept a journal of my experiences because my memory isn't what it used to be.

I had a supervisor once (god only knows how he managed to get this position, actually I do know, but that is something else...) who wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed by any stretch of the imagination.

He was trying to figure out how to get voicemail or call forwarding or some such working on his desk phone. I told him I didn't know the key combos off the top of my head, but if you googled for "[our workplace] telephone instructions" it would pop up. He liked that idea and went back to his office.
Well that was apparently asking too much out of the poor guy. He comes back an *hour* later with a print out scratching his head; he said he had tried everything on the paper and nothing worked.

I was a bit curious so I had a look at the paper. He -did- manage to find some telephone instructions...

..for MIT...

I'm not an English major so I'm not sure if that can somehow be classified as ironic, but I like to think so.

The story got passed around internally and eventually made it to our big wig's inbox. He thought it was funny. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
Somehow I still miss that place.

[castufari]

Originally Posted by J Arp

I had a supervisor once (god only knows how he managed to get this position, actually I do know, but that is something else...) who wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed by any stretch of the imagination.

It's called "promote the screwups".

Mine decided to try out some new software, which failed miserably. Rather than say "we tried and it failed" he blamed me for "not trying hard enough". Sorry, but you can't give me software on a Friday with no instructions and expect to be functioning by 8am Monday when I don't work weekends (which I'd do if there was some coin in it but there isn't).

[swagger]

Two that stick out - both are from '89-'90 when I was doing support for a company that sold computers and parts via mail order...

1st - and I've heard variations of this same basic thing that go around in chain emails, but I swear this actually happened... someone bought a fax modem (2400 baud!) and wasn't sure how to use it. They called up and actually asked if they held the paper up to the screen to fax the page...

2nd - also a modem purchaser - when he called to get help installing and using it, and I told him that he'd have to plug the phone line into it, he went ballistic - he was worried about hackers breaking into his computer... That one still stumps me to this day - what did he think he was buying?! Modems weren't terribly cheap back then, either...

[Tek_Freek]

Bosses and their brilliant ideas!

Background. Windows XP running AutoCAD 10 with some in house apps at that time. Ran smooth as silk.

The owner of our company took a trip. On the flight back he sat next to another business owner who also used ACAD 10, but they had it running under NT. This guy filled the bosses head with visions of Sugar Plum Fairies so when he got back he announced we were going to use NT. On 200 units. No testing required to see if it would fit with our specialized apps, just do it. No amount of cajoling, arguing or begging changed this guys mind. Hey, it's your money, Bozo! After the meeting I asked my boss if he realized what we were in for. He just rolled his eyes.

So we started sending out NT machines with ACAD and our special apps..... Boom!

Calls started coming in like you wouldn't believe. We had entire offices down with no drawings being made and customers getting really pissed. I forwarded all calls to my boss, who got to tell the owner. It was vewy, vewy, quiet at work for a couple of days.

Then my boss walked in and told me to redo all PC's to XP and stop rolling out new ones.

200 copies of Windows NT sitting in a closet....

Why did this man pay me for my expertise then ignore all my warnings? Idiot.

[EscapeCalifornia]

Originally Posted by Tek_Freek

Bosses and their brilliant ideas!

Background. Windows XP running AutoCAD 10 with some in house apps at that time. Ran smooth as silk.

The owner of our company took a trip. On the flight back he sat next to another business owner who also used ACAD 10, but they had it running under NT. This guy filled the bosses head with visions of Sugar Plum Fairies so when he got back he announced we were going to use NT. On 200 units. No testing required to see if it would fit with our specialized apps, just do it. No amount of cajoling, arguing or begging changed this guys mind. Hey, it's your money, Bozo! After the meeting I asked my boss if he realized what we were in for. He just rolled his eyes.

So we started sending out NT machines with ACAD and our special apps..... Boom!

Calls started coming in like you wouldn't believe. We had entire offices down with no drawings being made and customers getting really pissed. I forwarded all calls to my boss, who got to tell the owner. It was vewy, vewy, quiet at work for a couple of days.

Then my boss walked in and told me to redo all PC's to XP and stop rolling out new ones.

200 copies of Windows NT sitting in a closet....

Why did this man pay me for my expertise then ignore all my warnings? Idiot.

Wow what a retard. What version of NT were you trying to use and how long ago was this? Someone should have just said, "XP is NT 5.1" and continued to use XP. Could the boss even articulate what was so great about "NT" compared to NT 5.1?

[mensaguy]

We used to call NT "No Technology."

[Tek_Freek]

Originally Posted by EscapeCalifornia

Wow what a retard. What version of NT were you trying to use and how long ago was this? Someone should have just said, "XP is NT 5.1" and continued to use XP. Could the boss even articulate what was so great about "NT" compared to NT 5.1?

When? Wow, I left there in 1996. I think it was 3.51 or some such. No articulation required. He owned the store and you damned well did what he said, or else. That place was such a joy to work for.

[castufari]

Originally Posted by Tek_Freek

When? Wow, I left there in 1996. I think it was 3.51 or some such. No articulation required. He owned the store and you damned well did what he said, or else. That place was such a joy to work for.

I worked for a guy like that. He could suck up to the clients but he couldn't follow through and with every sale he ended up returning money for something.

I sold 25 PCs to a client once. They had them all spec'd out as autocad workstations. 3Com nics, ATI video cards, etc. Nice machines. I took the order and submitted the build. Gave the purchasing guy the parts list and asked him to order it. The owner looked at it and said he wanted to look it over first. 4 days later the parts arrive - generic nics, generic video cards and different hard drives. I asked him WTF happened, he said "the owner said not to order those". I walk upstairs, he says "they don't need any of that, it's a waste of money" *sigh* "They're CAD stations, they need the power and I'm ordering what they asked for - I have a letter from them telling me no subs". He says that he'll take care of it, they're building them over the weekend. I come in on Monday and they're loading them up. I look around and I see the boxes and stuff from the generics. I inquire again, he tells me not to worry. They deliver them. I return from lunch and it's the guy from the CAD place. "What happened to the parts we ordered?" I explained what happened. He says "I'll be right there". They drive up 45 min later with all of the PCs. The boss wants to know what they're doing. The cad guy says "apparently you mistook our order for another, this isn't what we wanted". I ended up FedEx overnighting the proper parts and told the owner not to pull that crap again.

A few months later he did the same thing for a law firm except he ordered "cheap" copies of Windows 98 and Office 97. The lawyer running the joint received everything on Saturday, later in the day he called MS tech support and the guy said the serial numbers he had were registered to a guy in Bahrain. I was on call, he called me and had a fit. Told me he was returning it all and wanted his money back. I told him that I'd talk to the boss before then, he said "don't you dare, this needs to be a surprise". Monday came in boom, 15 machines roll into the lobby. He asked for his check back, boss said "no can do, it will be 30 days". Lawyer says "I don't see a sign up, let's go to the bank". After he threatened to sue he got his money back but only after the boss stopped all of our paychecks and maxed out his CCs. Idiot.

The straw that broke the camel's back was for the CAD place. They wanted 25 copies of Autocad. Sure, we'll even load them. He buys one, charges them for 25, installs it. They ask for the manuals, he said it was a bulk license. Guy calls autodesk, who says no, that's a single copy. They (autodesk) send out someone to look then they go after the shop for it. The cad guy called me and told me what happened, as soon as I got my paycheck I ran and cashed it. Got back there shortly, after lunch the autodesk people paid the owner a visit. I was so upset that I quit, eventually they settled for some huge fine that was the equivalent of 25 copies of autocad at the retail price. That put them out of business.

Guy still calls me wanting to "network and start a new business".

[swagger]

Originally Posted by Tek_Freek

Why did this man pay me for my expertise then ignore all my warnings? Idiot.

Sounds kind of like my last regular job...

Wait, no... it sounds EXACTLY like my last regular job...

[mensaguy]

Tech: I'm sorry, but I have to uninstall WebShots from your computer. It was downloaded from the Internet, it is not business-related software, and it it not on the approved software list. By policy, it has to come off.

Customer: You can't take WebShots off. If I don't have WebShots, I can't read my email.

(WebShots came off. Email continued to function.)