Funny things heard by tech support people (monitor, crash, reboot)

[harry chickpea]

Now now guys, war stories are not humor stories. Let's keep it on topic.

Here is one that happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I got a call from a theatre that was having difficulty with my box office ticketing software. According to the owner, a slave ticketing computer was locking up on on their busiest days, and that the problem had been getting worse over the past few months. They also were having printer problems with a dot matrix printer. Since I do not fly commercial flights, a couple of local techs had initially been brought in to try and resolve those issues, and a few others. Eventually, I realized that I would have to go to the location myself to troubleshoot.

The ticketing counter at the theatre was built low (thank you ADA grrrr) so that handicapped folks could wheel right up over the curb. That meant the cashiers had to sit down and lean over the counter to give the tickets and change. The problem with the printer was that customers had been shooting back pennies from the ninety-nine cent bargain days, and landing them into the top the printer. I found three pennies dragging the platen of the printer, slowing it and grinding gears. No biggie, I had done something like that before. The computer locking up though, that was new.

I made sure to arrive on the busiest day and I stood in the back of the box office watching the flow of business. The same (very fast and competent) female cashier was there as the last time I had visited a year ago. However, I sensed there was something different about her...

As she leaned over the keyboard to give the tickets and change, the computer froze. She restarted and all was fine for five minutes, with her leaning over and giving change a number of time the same way. Then, during the course of another transaction, the computer froze again. The other cashier laughed and chided her that the problem had been happening ever since she had her enlargement surgery, and that she was pressing the keys with her breasts, locking up the keyboard.

Funny as the idea was, it wasn't the truth. While the cashier was sitting up, the computer suddenly exited the ticketing program on its own. Since she was in no position to press the [ESC] key, it was pretty easy for me to deduce that the keyboard was defective, and had started acting up about the same time as her surgery. Since the cashiers didn't want to mention the breast enhancement in their reports to the owner or in support calls, I had no idea that there could be a keyboard issue until I arrived on site.

My guess is that the other techs that had been called in were clueless or had their minds on other things when the computer locked up. I wasn't too surprised. One of them had had windows install a (nonexistent) com port 3 and 4 on another computer, and then couldn't figure out why com 1 and 2 weren't working.

[Tek_Freek]

Now now guys, war stories are not humor stories. Let's keep it on topic.

I beg to differ. I find them hilarious. But I'll stop posting to sooth your perceptions....

[visualevo]

I went to a lady's house (mind you this was an hour trip away and she was paying us extra to make this trip) on a call about her internet not working like it should. She insisted we come fix it and not her ISP.

So I headed off. When I get there I asked her to show me what was going on... So she opens up IE and it is just a blank page. An about:blank to be exact. She said she would be heading off soon so she was going to go get ready and asked how long it will take. I didn't have it in me to fix it to her 'msn' main home page infront of her so I waited for her to exit the room. She came back 20 minutes later and I was surfing the web. Turned to her and said "All Fixed!".

Her reply "Great, best 120.00 I ever spent."

[scorpy01]

Ahhhh.... tech support. Worked it at a local dial-up company for 7 years. Fun!

Don't remember the problem but I do remember telling the caller, "Now I need you to double click on My Computer."

To which she responded, "Your computer or my computer?"

[harry chickpea]

Originally Posted by Tek_Freek

Now now guys, war stories are not humor stories. Let's keep it on topic.

I beg to differ. I find them hilarious. But I'll stop posting to sooth your perceptions....

Nah, if you find 'em funny, please continue. It was just beginnin' to sound like the grumps had invaded.

[karibear]

Originally Posted by harry chickpea

Nah, if you find 'em funny, please continue. It was just beginnin' to sound like the grumps had invaded.

I think they're funny, and I've had my own issues with in-house IT/tech support. Some of them were dips, to put it nicely, others I can't imagine how they kept from strangling some of the people who constantly asked for help. One of the 'need's help constantly' ones was an RN who also happened to be the state and regional ultimate source of information for her specialty, so she wasn't dumb by any means. But for literally years, every time she created a document, she'd call the tech to ask him how to save it to a disk!

[justalicious6989]

the best i had was, theres no sound.
are you sure?
yes.
ok...did you delete it..
NO WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
ok.. then ill take a look...
GET OVER THERE, LOOK AT IT, AND THEY UNINTSTALLED THE DRIVER.

other best is they use limewire. ok i advise them if they use it to check how big the file is, if its a song dont download something that is 110 kb
ok u think they listen? nope i get there cuz the computer kept shutting off so i look in their files and bam when they clicked the song to download it was like 200 kb so downloading 200 kb on cable takes like 5 sec. so before they could cancel it would downlaod, i ask them did u listen to my advice, sure enough they say yes, i look and files and files of 100 to about 400 kb sitting in a folder virus ridden of course.

IF PEOPLE WOULD ONLY LISTEN!

[EscapeCalifornia]

Originally Posted by justalicious6989

IF PEOPLE WOULD ONLY LISTEN!

That is the basic problem. People simply don't listen.

Me: "Right click on My Computer, then click properties on the menu"
Them: "I see C drive, DVD drive.....I don't see properties"
Me:

Then there's the people who argue when they don't like the answer they get. Well why the hell did you ask me if you're so smart?

[justalicious6989]

Originally Posted by EscapeCalifornia

That is the basic problem. People simply don't listen.

Me: "Right click on My Computer, then click properties on the menu"
Them: "I see C drive, DVD drive.....I don't see properties"
Me:

Then there's the people who argue when they don't like the answer they get. Well why the hell did you ask me if you're so smart?

lol.
that is 100% true i love when they argue, ITS NOT THERE.
for instance a relative of my friend had norton, well it was a help page on internet explorer so clicking the red ex did nothing since it was a help example on the page, she argued he could not click X. and that everything she did it would not go away, so i go over there and click the real x at the top right hand corner of the page lol

[Tek_Freek]

WHAT?

Sorry, couldn't resist...

I love it when they read everything that comes up on a screen or a menu. Even after I continually tell them that they don't have to. I have, at times, read along with them until they they stop. I stop. I wait. I usually get, "Can you see my screen?".

I have also gotten so frustrated that I say "Stop." Wait a few seconds and repeat, "Stop." I will continue this until they ask me why I keep telling them to stop.

Funny thing: The next time I'm on the phone with them it starts all over again.

WHAT?