[mas07030]

I have done some research on this website and have found it very useful. I would like to have some opinions on a possible situation we are exploring. A couple of facts… My husband works long hours in downtown Stamford (10 to 11 hour days). I have a job within a block of Grand Central and have somewhat flexible hours 9ish to 5 with the option to work at home 1 day a week. I currently handle the drop off and pick up of our 17 month old at daycare. We live right outside of NYC now with my commute taking 15 minutes. I see my continued role as the primary caregiver (meaning handling drop off or pick up) will continue after our move. We would like to have another child and I would like to continue to work. We are looking at houses in the Shippan, Cove area with a target price range in the $800 to $1M range.
My question to this board is will it be possible for a working mom to keep a job in NYC and commute to Stamford and still see my son? How do working parents in this area cover the long days? I do not believe the hours of daycares such as Bright Horizons will work for us. If we look into a nanny soon enough my son will need to be in preschool. How is this handled by working parents? Are nannies given the responsibility of driving?
Please do not recommend Westchester as that is a different scenario that we will look at separately. We are trying to focus on one area at a time to see if it will meet our needs. I realize schools are another major factor. I grew up in Catholic school and would like to send our son to catholic elementary so I hope that will solve the school issue for us.
Thanks in advace for any feedback or advice.

[kidyankee764]

If you can spend $1m, go with Greenwich or Darien. They have better schools and are overall nicer towns. Stamford elementary schools are good but at the high school level, test scores start to deteriorate.

Anyway, a lot of people commute to Manhattan from Stamford. The fact that you work next to GC works out perfectly for you. The express is about 42-48 minutes from both Stamford and Greenwich. Factor in time to the station, and time to walk to your job, and figure just over an hour each way.

Can't help with the nanny situation.

[Stylo]

Greenwich express clocks in at 37 minutes on the reverse trip home. It's not that much time but can make a big difference getting home to family.

Also, although Stamford has lower scores on the high school level, I've heard nothing but positive reports from actual students and parents. It's also probably a "realer" and more diverse (and I don't mean racially, just resource-wise) experience than some of the more homogenous super-wealthy communities.

[mas07030]

Thanks I just see a huge difference in house prices in Stamford vs Greenwich. We could buy a move in ready perfect house in Stamford for $900K. If we move to Greenwich we would not be able to get a 4 bedroom home larger then 2000 square feet that didn't need extensive renovations for under $1M. My husband works long hours and a lot of weekends. I don't think its possible for us to buy a "fixer upper" we just don't have the time. .... that being said I love the idea of Greenwich but my other fear is my kid(s) feeling like the poorist kid in the neighborhood! We have a comfortable live style but will never be able to keep up with the Jones ... and I don't want that pressure.

[Stylo]

I wouldn't hesitate to send kids through Stamford schools one bit. Some people balk at it because they want the Ivy League pressure cooker environment. You did say private school is an option so you should be fine, although if you had to send them to public there's nothing wrong with Stamford schools.

One thing about the commute, it could make a HUGE difference where you are in Stamford. I think you're looking in the right place, but proximity to the train station is paramount.

[Wilton2ParkAve]

I respectfully disagree with Stylo and had serious reservations about sending my children to Stamford schools. I put my house on the market when my wife was expecting our second child. Why settle for below average schools (relative to state median results) at all grade levels when there are world class school districts bordering?

Most of my professional associates seemed to follow a similar path. Maybe I'm just old school but I prefer a low key, bedroom community over a city once kids are in the picture.

[Mike 75]

I know plenty of people who do this and commute from farther than Stamford. I think you will have to go the nanny route unless you can find a day care that has flexible hours.

My wife and I only commute Wilton to Stamford, but both of us tend to work 10+ hours a day, and the nanny is the only real option that works with this type of schedule. Our nanny drives our daughter to her activities during the week and will drive her to pre-school in the fall. This seems to be pretty typical, although I do know people who are not comfortable with their nanny driving their kids.

You may also want to look at Westport, New Canaan, Wilton and Fairfield with your price range. Longer commutes to NYC, but you will get more bang for your buck (maybe less so in New Canaan and Westport, and more so in Wilton and Fairfield). The schools in these towns are all better than the schools in Stamford, but since you are looking to send your son to Catholic school, that may not matter to you.

Good luck.

[JayCT]

Originally Posted by Stylo

Greenwich express clocks in at 37 minutes on the reverse trip home. It's not that much time but can make a big difference getting home to family.

Also, although Stamford has lower scores on the high school level, I've heard nothing but positive reports from actual students and parents. It's also probably a "realer" and more diverse (and I don't mean racially, just resource-wise) experience than some of the more homogenous super-wealthy communities.

I am not seeing a Greenwich train that is 37 minutes, most are at least 41 minutes. Either way the OP is talking about a good 1 hour commute door to door. This is not unheard of in Fairfield County but still not something I would want to do. People that I know that do this do have a nanny that drives and has a car. It costs more but then they do not have to worry about picking up kids or getting stuck on a train. It is not cheap but if you have a good job or one that you love, iot may be worth it. Only you and your husband can decide that. Jay

[Stylo]

Originally Posted by JayCT

I am not seeing a Greenwich train that is 37 minutes, most are at least 41 minutes. Either way the OP is talking about a good 1 hour commute door to door. This is not unheard of in Fairfield County but still not something I would want to do. People that I know that do this do have a nanny that drives and has a car. It costs more but then they do not have to worry about picking up kids or getting stuck on a train. It is not cheap but if you have a good job or one that you love, iot may be worth it. Only you and your husband can decide that. Jay

The return is 37.

[Wilton2ParkAve]

I think there is a single 37 minute train for the afternoon/return commute. Probably not going to be a daily occurrence unless you have that rare clock-puncher job.