[emillswrx]

My wife and I are looking to buy a house somewhere either north or east of New Haven. We both have graduate degrees, good jobs and can probably afford the house we would like in a neighborhood with top notch schools, which is our number 1 priority for our 2 young children. My concern is that many of the top rated schools are in the welathiest towns, and I dont want to raise my kids in an environment where money equals social status and what's cool. Towns we are strongly considering are Guilford, Cheshire, West Hartford and Old Lyme. Any advice would be appreciated and we could consider other towns as well. Thanks.

[Cambium]

Originally Posted by emillswrx

I dont want to raise my kids in an environment where money equals social status and what's cool. .

IMO, it would make your kids wiser and stronger being around that situation. It will take teaching on your part also but all in all I think They'll see how pointless that lifestyle is. Forget the Jones'. Just dont asociate with someone who says "wow, look what I got? You dont have one?" And who cares if they show up with a Flat screen tv in their car. lol

[Stylo]

Top rated schools = more affluent communities = keeping up with Joneses.

Maybe consider Branford. Nice town, near New Haven, good schools, a little more down to earth.

[DawnMTL]

I lived in West Hartford before we moved to MA.

Honestly, I felt none of that keeping up with the Joneses stuff. For much of that time, I had an 18-year-old car (I worked from home; why buy a new one?) and walked my dog in sweatpants.

Maybe you'd get that vibe in Westport or Greenwich, but not in West Hartford.

Also: I think that if a child is inclined to show off what he's got (that you don't have), I think that could happen in even the poorest towns. It's either in the kid's nature or it's not. Conversely, even the richest kid could be the most laid back when it comes to "stuff." I grew up with a kid whose family is ridiculously rich... I never knew it, though, until I was an adult.

[krdpm]

We've lived in Guilford for almost 2 years, and had our daughter in pre-school here a year before we moved. We had some of the same concerns as you, and things have turned out wonderfully. We've made some really great friends, and I do remember some early conversations with friends here that were all about how we ALL were concerned with moving here and the fear of the snob-factor, materialistic attitude, etc. (And I must say, some of these friends fall into the "serious money" category, and couldn't be nicer or more down to earth.) It seems Guilford may tend to attract the type of person who wants to avoid that whole scene. For the most part it's a very artsy, liberal-leaning town. Def. some money in town, but a lot of "old money" people, not flashy or competitive. There certainly are a few of the new-money McMansion types, but in my experience very easy to avoid and certainly not the norm. I think you would be very happy with Guilford.

[Stylo]

I think Guilford and Madison have money, but it's not like the attitude you get from Fairfield and west.

[JayCT]

I am assuming that you are working in the New Haven area so I am wondering why you would look so far away in West Hartford. It is a nice town but not worth the long commute IMHO. Same with Old Lyme.

That said I think you will find what you are looking for closer to New Haven. I agree that Branford and Guilford would be good choices. You might find some of that attitude in Cheshire though. You also might look at North Haven or Wallingford. Jay

[kidyankee764]

Connecticut is one of the richest states in the country, and IMO is very much the epitome of "keeping up with the Joneses" - especially southwestern CT but the attitude is also prevalent in the towns you're considering. I live in Branford and I see it quite a bit. Cheshire is very snooty (not sure why, as it's not even a wealthy town) and Guilford and Madison have a bit of a subdued "talk behind your back" keeping up with the Joneses. West Hartford probably depends on where you live, but I know families from both West Hartford and Glastonbury who left the towns due to the fake snootiness of their neighborhoods. The towns with the best schools are often the worst.

Don't get me wrong, these are great towns with many very nice people, but keeping up is definitely a thing in the suburbs here.

I'd suggest you look into:

East of New Haven - Clinton, Westbrook

North of New Haven - North Haven, North Branford or Durham.

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by Stylo

I think Guilford and Madison have money, but it's not like the attitude you get from Fairfield and west.

A lot of times it's not about money. Cheshire's overall attitude is pretty bad and the town isn't what I would consider "upscale".

[MikefromCT]

Originally Posted by kidyankee764

Connecticut is one of the richest states in the country, and IMO is very much the epitome of "keeping up with the Joneses" - especially southwestern CT but the attitude is also prevalent in the towns you're considering. I live in Branford and I see it quite a bit. Cheshire is very snooty (not sure why, as it's not even a wealthy town) and Guilford and Madison have a bit of a subdued "talk behind your back" keeping up with the Joneses. West Hartford probably depends on where you live, but I know families from both West Hartford and Glastonbury who left the towns due to the fake snootiness of their neighborhoods. The towns with the best schools are often the worst.

Don't get me wrong, these are great towns with many very nice people, but keeping up is definitely a thing in the suburbs here.

I'm not sure it's possible to avoid that "keepin' up with the Jones' " mentality anywhere because it's so rampant. I live in WH and we do have a few snobs here (as well as some nice, down to earth people), but it's even worse in the 'burbs further away from the capitol city - those towns that were rural for decades and then all of a sudden exploded with McMansions as woods were turned into lawns. That, to me, is the epitome of arrogance and excess. And you see this so often that it's almost impossible to avoid. And I really don't see the appeal of it nor why there's such a need to flaunt what they have. The way I see it, the more insecure the person, the more they have to prove.

Anyway, I do think Branford would be a good fit - there's a little bit of everything as far as housing and socioeconomic breakdown, and personally I think it's really nice especially the downtown area. I still think Guilford or Madison are worth a look as well, JMHO.