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Old 02-01-2013, 05:14 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn
101 posts, read 118,495 times
Reputation: 109

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
There is no perfect place, even in this entire country with all of its options. But for some reason, I can't think of a better option than Charlotte, although I have two concerns about it. (1) Will I be able to adjust to the more southern culture? (2) Will the gay population be sufficient and quality enough compared to greater Hartford?

If the answer to those two questions is yes, then I think it will be the perfect place lol. I think I'm gonna try it for a month. If it's that bad, then I'll probably just head down to southeast FL and settle there, because it has a huge gay population and no southern culture. But then there's more problems there...such as extreme overdevelopment and never ending heat & humidity
Seriously Nep. Don't go to Charlotte. It is not a gay-friendly area. You'll be in the heart of the Bible Belt, and religion and your personal participation/non-participation will be the first criterion on how they judge you. Denver would be a huge improvement over Charlotte, it's much bigger and much more tolerant.

Also, the Northeast and California are expensive for a reason. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR! There is reason the South is so cheap. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR!

I moved to NY and love it. Will i ever own property in my life. Probably not, but it really doesn't bother me. I'm making decent money, don't have to own a car, pay for gas, car insurance, parking tickets etc. That's a huge chunk of money that I save every month. Here in Brooklyn, nobody asks about your religion. There are plenty of gay guys here, and many of them you would never even know were gay.

Connecticut is NOT provincial -- it's between NY and Boston, how can it be provincial? It has one of the best educational systems in America, how could its citizens think provincially? What you witness is regionalism not provincialism. There are so many millions in the area from DC to Boston, that each individual metro area has its own unique culture. Plus the topography shapes how people live their lives: the Potomac, the Chesapeake, the Delaware, Long Island Sound, Hudson River, Connecticut River, Cape Cod. These large bodies of water give character to these communities and how they grew. In Denver, you have the Rocky Mountains.

But in the South it's all the same, as the topography is unimpressive or unimposing -- no significant bodies of water, no mountains that aren't as imposing or dramatic as the Rockies. The South just kind of spreads on forever. Why do you think cities like Atlanta are known for sprawl? Because nothing contains the city in, the land is dirt cheap, and developers just threw down strip malls and cheap McMansions wherever they wanted.

The only places in the South that have unique cultures are cities like Charleston, SC, Savannah, GA and New Orleans. And why? Because they're communities shaped by the bodies of water surrounding them.

Stay in CT, move to Denver or move to NY, those are my suggestions. Face up to what those places will challenge you with. Charlotte sounds like an easy and cheap cop out.

 
Old 02-01-2013, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,040 posts, read 13,460,560 times
Reputation: 6770
Quote:
Originally Posted by germansoldiers View Post
Seriously Nep. Don't go to Charlotte. It is not a gay-friendly area. You'll be in the heart of the Bible Belt, and religion and your personal participation/non-participation will be the first criterion on how they judge you. Denver would be a huge improvement over Charlotte, it's much bigger and much more tolerant.

Also, the Northeast and California are expensive for a reason. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR! There is reason the South is so cheap. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR!

I moved to NY and love it. Will i ever own property in my life. Probably not, but it really doesn't bother me. I'm making decent money, don't have to own a car, pay for gas, car insurance, parking tickets etc. That's a huge chunk of money that I save every month. Here in Brooklyn, nobody asks about your religion. There are plenty of gay guys here, and many of them you would never even know were gay.

Connecticut is NOT provincial -- it's between NY and Boston, how can it be provincial? It has one of the best educational systems in America, how could its citizens think provincially? What you witness is regionalism not provincialism. There are so many millions in the area from DC to Boston, that each individual metro area has its own unique culture. Plus the topography shapes how people live their lives: the Potomac, the Chesapeake, the Delaware, Long Island Sound, Hudson River, Connecticut River, Cape Cod. These large bodies of water give character to these communities and how they grew. In Denver, you have the Rocky Mountains.

But in the South it's all the same, as the topography is unimpressive or unimposing -- no significant bodies of water, no mountains that aren't as imposing or dramatic as the Rockies. The South just kind of spreads on forever. Why do you think cities like Atlanta are known for sprawl? Because nothing contains the city in, the land is dirt cheap, and developers just threw down strip malls and cheap McMansions wherever they wanted.

The only places in the South that have unique cultures are cities like Charleston, SC, Savannah, GA and New Orleans. And why? Because they're communities shaped by the bodies of water surrounding them.

Stay in CT, move to Denver or move to NY, those are my suggestions. Face up to what those places will challenge you with. Charlotte sounds like an easy and cheap cop out.
Definitely NOT going to move to NYC. How can you say you get what you pay for, in NYC? $1,000 a month to share a crappy room with 2 other people in a crappy old pre-war apartment building with no laundry in the building is good?! Constant chaos on the streets, noise, pollution, stress and freezing cold weather and wind in your face while carrying heavy grocery bags? Been there, done that. If I moved to NYC I would never be able to own property.

With that said, I know I want to be headed South no matter what, at this point. If Charlotte is that bad, then I could always head down to Florida or something. I'm 100% certain I want to stay on the east coast though. And more precisely, NC or FL. I would stay in the Northeast, but the areas with large gay populations are just too damn expensive and stressful and impractical. I know I'd be miserable living in NYC or Boston or Philly or DC for sure. I need lots of TREES and quiet in order to be happy.

And I don't care for Denver either. I've been there and wasn't thrilled. It's very brown looking and the people are freekin' weird...even worse than people in the South, IMO. I didn't like the alternative/hippie culture or the cowboy vibe at ALL. And it's a very isolated city, too. No thanks.
 
Old 02-01-2013, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Live in NY State, work in CT
8,850 posts, read 14,303,410 times
Reputation: 3250
Quote:
Originally Posted by germansoldiers View Post
Seriously Nep. Don't go to Charlotte. It is not a gay-friendly area. You'll be in the heart of the Bible Belt, and religion and your personal participation/non-participation will be the first criterion on how they judge you. Denver would be a huge improvement over Charlotte, it's much bigger and much more tolerant.

Also, the Northeast and California are expensive for a reason. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR! There is reason the South is so cheap. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR!

I moved to NY and love it. Will i ever own property in my life. Probably not, but it really doesn't bother me. I'm making decent money, don't have to own a car, pay for gas, car insurance, parking tickets etc. That's a huge chunk of money that I save every month. Here in Brooklyn, nobody asks about your religion. There are plenty of gay guys here, and many of them you would never even know were gay.

Connecticut is NOT provincial -- it's between NY and Boston, how can it be provincial? It has one of the best educational systems in America, how could its citizens think provincially? What you witness is regionalism not provincialism. There are so many millions in the area from DC to Boston, that each individual metro area has its own unique culture. Plus the topography shapes how people live their lives: the Potomac, the Chesapeake, the Delaware, Long Island Sound, Hudson River, Connecticut River, Cape Cod. These large bodies of water give character to these communities and how they grew. In Denver, you have the Rocky Mountains.

But in the South it's all the same, as the topography is unimpressive or unimposing -- no significant bodies of water, no mountains that aren't as imposing or dramatic as the Rockies. The South just kind of spreads on forever. Why do you think cities like Atlanta are known for sprawl? Because nothing contains the city in, the land is dirt cheap, and developers just threw down strip malls and cheap McMansions wherever they wanted.

The only places in the South that have unique cultures are cities like Charleston, SC, Savannah, GA and New Orleans. And why? Because they're communities shaped by the bodies of water surrounding them.

Stay in CT, move to Denver or move to NY, those are my suggestions. Face up to what those places will challenge you with. Charlotte sounds like an easy and cheap cop out.
Besides the comments about the South itself, which I long addressed and mostly agree with, you make a few other good points:

1) This "college friend" of mine in Denver, if he didn't note it on Facebook, I'd never know that he was gay. In college there was this pretty girl who liked him that he seemed to "like" but was always "shy" about, and I would kind of 'egg him on' to go for her. And he was into a lot of "macho" things like playing amateur soccer and hockey (he still does the latter, and has a rep for being a pretty "rough and tough" player). I'd sometimes visit him in Boston after graduation (and ironically that girl I mentioned ended up being his neighbor), but then lost touch with him for about a decade or so. When I found out I actually felt quite bad about "egging him on about this girl" and told him so.

My point is, regarding dealing with an "anti-gay" culture in the South, while I'm not saying you should be "closeted" and all the stress that I imagine (I'm not gay BTW) goes with that, if you're just leading your normal everyday life, it's not like you will necessarily be "obvious" to a "potential hater" either.

2) I think CT is one of the least "provincial" non-big city places in the entire US. Some are confusing "provincialism" with "snobbery" or "excess pride". While there is certainly some "hidden prejudice" and what I'll call "behind the scenes 'looking down upon'", if you "fit in" you are not looked at as an "outsider" either and there's enough of "everything" that it's hard to not "fit in" somewhere.

BTW nep, one thing I hate about SE Florida (have a lot of relatives down there I visited almost every summer as a kid) in fact about FL in general is you have the same boring flat scenery for hundreds of miles. Somewhat true about the South in general, at least in the cities, but in places like Charlotte, it's a reasonable drive to the beauty of Cape Hatteras or the Smoky Mountains. Again, good luck whatever you do!
 
Old 02-01-2013, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,040 posts, read 13,460,560 times
Reputation: 6770
Quote:
Originally Posted by 7 Wishes View Post
Besides the comments about the South itself, which I long addressed and mostly agree with, you make a few other good points:

1) This "college friend" of mine in Denver, if he didn't note it on Facebook, I'd never know that he was gay. In college there was this pretty girl who liked him that he seemed to "like" but was always "shy" about, and I would kind of 'egg him on' to go for her. And he was into a lot of "macho" things like playing amateur soccer and hockey (he still does the latter, and has a rep for being a pretty "rough and tough" player). I'd sometimes visit him in Boston after graduation (and ironically that girl I mentioned ended up being his neighbor), but then lost touch with him for about a decade or so. When I found out I actually felt quite bad about "egging him on about this girl" and told him so.

My point is, regarding dealing with an "anti-gay" culture in the South, while I'm not saying you should be "closeted" and all the stress that I imagine (I'm not gay BTW) goes with that, if you're just leading your normal everyday life, it's not like you will necessarily be "obvious" to a "potential hater" either.

2) I think CT is one of the least "provincial" non-big city places in the entire US. Some are confusing "provincialism" with "snobbery" or "excess pride". While there is certainly some "hidden prejudice" and what I'll call "behind the scenes 'looking down upon'", if you "fit in" you are not looked at as an "outsider" either and there's enough of "everything" that it's hard to not "fit in" somewhere.

BTW nep, one thing I hate about SE Florida (have a lot of relatives down there I visited almost every summer as a kid) in fact about FL in general is you have the same boring flat scenery for hundreds of miles. Somewhat true about the South in general, at least in the cities, but in places like Charlotte, it's a reasonable drive to the beauty of Cape Hatteras or the Smoky Mountains. Again, good luck whatever you do!
What I meant by provincial is that CT is very NON-transient. There are many generations of families that were born, raised and died in CT and never moved out. Maybe I don't really understand the word "provincial," but that's what I meant to say about CT. The population is rather stagnant.

With that said, I am relaxing in a hotel for the night in PA, on my way to Charlotte. This move feels both right and wrong at the same time. But I'm seriously out of ideas at this point. I'll have to see what the place is like for myself instead of relying solely on City-Data opinions from other posters. That's all.
 
Old 02-01-2013, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Coastal Northeast
15,813 posts, read 22,112,861 times
Reputation: 5299
You're only in PA?
 
Old 02-01-2013, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,040 posts, read 13,460,560 times
Reputation: 6770
Quote:
Originally Posted by kidyankee764 View Post
You're only in PA?
Yes. I didn't leave Granby, CT until like 10:30. And I had to stop and fill up my tires with air along the way, as well as stopping to eat and get gas of course. But I'm in Chambersburg, PA. So I'm about 45% through the overall trip. Not too bad. I'll arrive there tomorrow around 3 PM. I like to stop driving around 5PM because I don't like driving in the dark in the winter out in the country.
 
Old 02-01-2013, 08:50 PM
 
3,720 posts, read 4,457,720 times
Reputation: 4741
I hope you have a safe journey nep321. Best of luck to you.
 
Old 02-01-2013, 10:19 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,040 posts, read 13,460,560 times
Reputation: 6770
Quote:
Originally Posted by trishguard View Post
I hope you have a safe journey nep321. Best of luck to you.
Thanks. Despite what negative comments people said on here about Charlotte, I'm just going to try it for a month. I'll be living with a roommate for cheap, which is nice to have the companionship, being new to the area. I could maybe get a temp job, to have some income and be employed again. Having a full time job in a new location is the real way to get a full circle feel for an area. That way, even if I end up only staying there for a few months, at least I will have had the experience of living there for several months. Then after the temp job ends, I could get serious about finding permanent employment if I wish.

With that said, if I move back to the BosWash corridor, I think I would go with Providence, RI. I *think* I'm not even going to bother considering Florida at this point. I just don't see the appeal of living in a place with constant heat and humidity all year round, totally flat terrain, loads more of trashy people, tourists galore, and extreme overdevelopment with boulevards, plazas, houses and buildings everywhere. Not to mention, intermittent crime everywhere and a difficult job market. Of course, I'm specifically talking about southeast FL. I mean, I still think FL is a beautiful place in a unique way, and it adds to the diversity of America's climates and geography, but I think the cons outweigh the pros.
 
Old 02-02-2013, 06:09 AM
 
Location: Ubique
4,092 posts, read 2,958,193 times
Reputation: 2525
You started listening to country music yet? Switch over to the preaching channel during commercials of pick up trucks and prepper products.
 
Old 02-02-2013, 07:01 AM
 
Location: CT
1,934 posts, read 3,186,238 times
Reputation: 1419
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
Thanks. Despite what negative comments people said on here about Charlotte, I'm just going to try it for a month. I'll be living with a roommate for cheap, which is nice to have the companionship, being new to the area. I could maybe get a temp job, to have some income and be employed again. Having a full time job in a new location is the real way to get a full circle feel for an area. That way, even if I end up only staying there for a few months, at least I will have had the experience of living there for several months. Then after the temp job ends, I could get serious about finding permanent employment if I wish.

With that said, if I move back to the BosWash corridor, I think I would go with Providence, RI. I *think* I'm not even going to bother considering Florida at this point. I just don't see the appeal of living in a place with constant heat and humidity all year round, totally flat terrain, loads more of trashy people, tourists galore, and extreme overdevelopment with boulevards, plazas, houses and buildings everywhere. Not to mention, intermittent crime everywhere and a difficult job market. Of course, I'm specifically talking about southeast FL. I mean, I still think FL is a beautiful place in a unique way, and it adds to the diversity of America's climates and geography, but I think the cons outweigh the pros.
Providence? I thought you hated the cold? Jeez, you expended six trillion calories convincing people FL was the way to go...Now you're only staying a month in Charlotte? Give it a chance, if it doesn't work out try DC or Virginia/Maryland, really nice places to live and moderate weather. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
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