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Old 02-10-2013, 08:46 AM
 
4,787 posts, read 8,790,396 times
Reputation: 12592

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Hasn't this conversation come and gone ? You were looking at FFC and New Haven not all that long ago. You'd need a heck of a lot more income than your job would provide to be able to ever be able to buy a house in FFC. Maybe a condo would even be out of reach. For various other reasons, you've never favored New Haven county. You found it too dirty, too congested, not gay enough, whatever.

What's the point of living in the Boston/NYC/ Washington corridor if you don't go there. Living in Middletown & Plainville, how many times a year did you actually go to any of those cities ? Once, never
-- What's the point of it then.

Charlotte is hardly isolated. It's a good sized city. It's not far from the beaches of SC & NC, many of which are spectacular. Certainly not much further from the beach than Granby. But then you're not a beach person either. The whole Research Triangle area of NC is just to the north of Charlotte- lots of people, another sprawling area of both jobs and cultural activities, if you want to make use of them.

Give Charlotte a chance- like at least a year. What you're doing now is silly. You didn't like CT, had a million reasons to leave. You drove all over the country, have been not found anything you like. You keep making excuses why this or that city is not good. And guess what, you're run out of cities and and I bet are going to wind right back up in Hartford county.

Try not to look at life looking from the negatives. You're a negative person, the negatives take priority in your thinking, that's why you can't find a city. Look at Charlotte from the positive things it can bring to you.

 
Old 02-10-2013, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,040 posts, read 13,415,797 times
Reputation: 6770
Quote:
Originally Posted by willow wind View Post
Hasn't this conversation come and gone ? You were looking at FFC and New Haven not all that long ago. You'd need a heck of a lot more income than your job would provide to be able to ever be able to buy a house in FFC. Maybe a condo would even be out of reach. For various other reasons, you've never favored New Haven county. You found it too dirty, too congested, not gay enough, whatever.

What's the point of living in the Boston/NYC/ Washington corridor if you don't go there. Living in Middletown & Plainville, how many times a year did you actually go to any of those cities ? Once, never
-- What's the point of it then.

Charlotte is hardly isolated. It's a good sized city. It's not far from the beaches of SC & NC, many of which are spectacular. Certainly not much further from the beach than Granby. But then you're not a beach person either. The whole Research Triangle area of NC is just to the north of Charlotte- lots of people, another sprawling area of both jobs and cultural activities, if you want to make use of them.

Give Charlotte a chance- like at least a year. What you're doing now is silly. You didn't like CT, had a million reasons to leave. You drove all over the country, have been not found anything you like. You keep making excuses why this or that city is not good. And guess what, you're run out of cities and and I bet are going to wind right back up in Hartford county.

Try not to look at life looking from the negatives. You're a negative person, the negatives take priority in your thinking, that's why you can't find a city. Look at Charlotte from the positive things it can bring to you.
I understand everything you said and appreciate your response and advice. But here's the catch. For some reason, I still believe that someday in the future, I will return to CT, even if I do stay here in Charlotte for a while. If that's the case, then why not cut to the chase and just move back to CT now? Why bother going through all the hassle of building a career here in Charlotte, buying a home, etc, only to have to move AGAIN, back to CT in 5 years or so? What I want right now in my life is permanent settlement. I'm sick of moving and looking for a place to move.

You're probably right that FFC is simply out of reach for me, even if I pushed hard in my career. It's too bad though. It could have worked well, because I would have access to the gay life of NYC, as well as family up in Granby, and have the privilege of living in the BosWash. Although I didn't travel often to Boston, NYC or other places, for some reason living in the BosWash just feels more like I'm living in mainstream America. The psychological aspect of knowing that you're not living in an isolated area is nice to have.

I could probably make it in lower New Haven County though. The cost of living is about the same as Hartford County. I am 100% certain that I will not return to Hartford County though. New London County would be nice too, but there are no jobs and very few gays.
 
Old 02-11-2013, 05:44 AM
 
3,720 posts, read 4,448,029 times
Reputation: 4741
Fairfield County is not out of your reach. But you were chomping at the bit to get out of Connecticut to the point that I would have sworn you hated it here. Now you believe that Connecticut is the place for you? I just don't understand.
 
Old 02-11-2013, 06:06 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,040 posts, read 13,415,797 times
Reputation: 6770
Quote:
Originally Posted by trishguard View Post
Fairfield County is not out of your reach. But you were chomping at the bit to get out of Connecticut to the point that I would have sworn you hated it here. Now you believe that Connecticut is the place for you? I just don't understand.
The Hartford area is not the place for me. Another area might work well for me though.
 
Old 02-11-2013, 08:06 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,046 posts, read 1,295,966 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
The Hartford area is not the place for me. Another area might work well for me though.
No, it wouldn't. Connecticut is small enough that no move is going to cause a significant change.
 
Old 02-11-2013, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Birch Mt - CT
221 posts, read 181,081 times
Reputation: 177
You need to make a one year commitment to Charlotte. Get a job, live for a year and then you will know what to do.
 
Old 02-11-2013, 08:21 AM
PDF
 
11,386 posts, read 9,893,877 times
Reputation: 6580
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I understand everything you said and appreciate your response and advice. But here's the catch. For some reason, I still believe that someday in the future, I will return to CT, even if I do stay here in Charlotte for a while. If that's the case, then why not cut to the chase and just move back to CT now? Why bother going through all the hassle of building a career here in Charlotte, buying a home, etc, only to have to move AGAIN, back to CT in 5 years or so? What I want right now in my life is permanent settlement. I'm sick of moving and looking for a place to move.

You're probably right that FFC is simply out of reach for me, even if I pushed hard in my career. It's too bad though. It could have worked well, because I would have access to the gay life of NYC, as well as family up in Granby, and have the privilege of living in the BosWash. Although I didn't travel often to Boston, NYC or other places, for some reason living in the BosWash just feels more like I'm living in mainstream America. The psychological aspect of knowing that you're not living in an isolated area is nice to have.

I could probably make it in lower New Haven County though. The cost of living is about the same as Hartford County. I am 100% certain that I will not return to Hartford County though. New London County would be nice too, but there are no jobs and very few gays.
Then why did you move in the first place? I'm just curious why you are so quick to change your mind on a place. So now Providence is out of the picture? After saying you were so sure about it.

I have never seen someone change their mind so much. I'm genuinely curious here.
 
Old 02-11-2013, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,040 posts, read 13,415,797 times
Reputation: 6770
Quote:
Originally Posted by markfromct View Post
You need to make a one year commitment to Charlotte. Get a job, live for a year and then you will know what to do.
I can't do that. My recruiter said that I should stay at my next job for a minimum of 5 years, otherwise my resume will appear as if I'm job hopping. I'm 28 years old and already looking for my 4th job in accounting. I can't really afford to just "try" Charlotte for one year and then leave again and move again and look for a FIFTH job at 29 years old. You know how bad that's going to look?

That's why this decision on where to settle is super important right now. There are career implications that go along with it. A 5-year commitment is a long time to stay in one place that I'm not 100% sure about.

The recruiter also said that I need to take the CPA exam and get my license for that, otherwise it won't look good to employers and won't look like I have motivation in my career.

If a career in accounting requires that much pressure to become a CPA and stay committed to one job now for at least 5 years, then *****, I might as well shoot for the stars and move to FFC or something and make six figures.
 
Old 02-11-2013, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
24,673 posts, read 40,256,063 times
Reputation: 6999
Ahhh nep - What are we going to do with you?

After reading your posts over all these years, it does finally sound like you are thinking things through. If you will ultimately want to end up back in Connecticut, then you should just bite the bullet and come back here and concentrate on looking for a job here. The New Haven-Fairfield County area would be a good place to settle but keep in mind Fairfield County is pricey and you may need to lower your expectations on where you live a bit (no newer large house share for peanuts or spacious condo at a reasonable price). One suggestion is to keep in mind that sometimes you have to take one step back to take two steps forward. Look for a job with a good company that offers you the best opportunity for growth. That may mean less money now but more in the future. Good luck, Jay
 
Old 02-11-2013, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Coastal Connecticut
14,776 posts, read 18,012,742 times
Reputation: 3353
Why is FFC out of reach? Bethel, Stratford, Shelton, Milford all nice towns you can buy a relatively affordable house in and commute from.
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