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Old 02-14-2013, 07:27 AM
 
Location: CT
1,935 posts, read 3,188,822 times
Reputation: 1419

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I know...it's too late now. My life is in shambles. What to do?!
Nep- life is what you make of it and it's all about your perspective. Don't be so pessimistic about moving forward with your life; you've been given lots of good advice and ideas, try to learn from that. Give yourself a chance dude, dig in, work hard and start enjoying life a little.

Last edited by Tetto; 02-14-2013 at 07:28 AM.. Reason: ypo

 
Old 02-14-2013, 08:50 AM
 
4,787 posts, read 8,836,180 times
Reputation: 12592
Nep- whatever shambles you think your life is, it is all of your own making. Of course, it's not too late.

You just need to learn how to think things through. So far you've told us that there is not the kind of gay life you wanted in CT- the area is to small, the dating pool too little. So off you went on a 10,000 mile odyssey to find something better. You found Charlotte, which seems much better.

You told us CT was too cold, cost of living too high, you couldn't find the kind of home you wanted. Charlotte would give you the newer home for a reasonable price compared to here, the climate is warmer, the cost of living less.

Bu then you were told that you might have to work more than 40 hours a week, you needed to stop job hopping and as for vacation- goodness. A recruiter told you you needed to stay at a job for several years because you're job hopping, looking at your fourth job in five years. The idea of actually working hard and making a commitment to a job has you frazzled. You feel trapped and now you're running away. Suddenly you need your family, Charlotte is too far away, you don't have enough money to stay past the end of the month, so on and so forth.

All excuses !

Nep- the problem is you have no idea what you want from life. At some point in time you'll have to prioritize just what is important to you and how to go about getting it. Drifting along and preferring to drift along just doesn't cut it anymore.
 
Old 02-14-2013, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Coastal Connecticut
14,842 posts, read 18,116,544 times
Reputation: 3404
I gotta say, there's something really off to me about a forum playing psychologist. nep, I mean absolutely no disrespect and you're obviously a smart guy - but I think you may benefit from some good professional counseling in this stage of your life.
 
Old 02-14-2013, 09:45 AM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 34,865,961 times
Reputation: 20198
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
Are you saying that because of a 3-month gap in unemployment, I will be denied a mortgage loan? Jesus. That means I have to rent for what....2 more years? God...that means I can't even buy a starter home until I'm 30.
In order to get a mortgage, you have to prove the ability to PAY for it. No income = no ability to pay. It's basic finances. You also have to have a workable credit rating. Which - if you have had no personal income (other than unemployment), and no history of paying off debts on time, you won't have. At age 28 you really should know this already.
 
Old 02-14-2013, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Coastal Northeast
15,830 posts, read 22,140,769 times
Reputation: 5307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stylo View Post
I gotta say, there's something really off to me about a forum playing psychologist. nep, I mean absolutely no disrespect and you're obviously a smart guy - but I think you may benefit from some good professional counseling in this stage of your life.
Me too. That's been suggested to him before, yet here we are again...
 
Old 02-14-2013, 10:04 AM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 34,865,961 times
Reputation: 20198
Two weeks vacation is 10 weekdays. In MOST situations, you are not required to take them in 5-day blocks. So - let's do a little simple math here:

Christmas week - you get Christmas day off. If it falls during the week, you put in for the weekday(s) before, and after, from weekend to weekend. You'd be using up 4 days total. Now, you have 9 days vacation, that one week - and another 6 days of paid vacation time available.

Memorial day week - Memorial day is a Monday, always - so that's another 4 day week for you. Take Tuesday-through-Friday - and you now have another 9-day vacation, and another 2 days of paid vacation time available.

Thanksgiving is a Thursday, always. Most companies also give their employees the following day, Friday, off. Now take the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and the Monday after thanksgiving, and you've just taken another 6-day vacation.

Simple math dood. That, and generous use of that funky little thing we low-life minimum wage part-time slackers like to call a calendar.
 
Old 02-14-2013, 10:14 AM
 
420 posts, read 339,765 times
Reputation: 345
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stylo View Post
I gotta say, there's something really off to me about a forum playing psychologist. nep, I mean absolutely no disrespect and you're obviously a smart guy - but I think you may benefit from some good professional counseling in this stage of your life.
In reading this thread, and some of nep's others, I too have thought that maybe therapy would be a good idea for him.

However, and I want to tread lightly here, doesn't this latest episode strain the limits of credulity? Nep is unwilling to work more than 40-45 hours and expects more than 2 weeks off but expects to earn a good salary? That he finally took action and moved to Charlotte, but now is going to turn around and come back?

Really?
 
Old 02-14-2013, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,040 posts, read 13,481,889 times
Reputation: 6773
Quote:
Originally Posted by adamz View Post
In reading this thread, and some of nep's others, I too have thought that maybe therapy would be a good idea for him.

However, and I want to tread lightly here, doesn't this latest episode strain the limits of credulity? Nep is unwilling to work more than 40-45 hours and expects more than 2 weeks off but expects to earn a good salary? That he finally took action and moved to Charlotte, but now is going to turn around and come back?

Really?
The last two jobs I had, I had 4 weeks and 3 weeks of vacation from day one, respectively, and only worked about 40 hours per week. Wouldn't YOU feel disappointed too, if you knew that your next job would only provide 2 weeks? It's a step down from 3 weeks, which I already had at my previous job.

Anyway, I would probably see if my parents could come down here and visit me maybe once per year. It's a short flight and they live right near the airport, in Granby. I'd hate to ask them to do it, but if I must, I will. It's just a shame that I won't be able to see the rest of my family members in CT (brothers, grandparents, cousins, etc.) doing it this way.

Well, I applied to five jobs here so far and am working with two recruiters who approached me on their own, because they were impressed with my resume. So, I am giving this my best effort on a daily basis. I'm working with recruiters, applying directly online to jobs and networking online. So, as long as I can find employment within a week or two from today, I'll be willing to settle here for the long term. Or else I will have to leave. I mean, hey, I can't stay here beyond February with no income, and I don't want to touch my nest egg of savings in the bank anymore.

To those of you who suggested that I seek therapy. I understand where you're coming from, but please....lol. The only reason it seems that way is because I frequent this forum for 7 years now and it's an outlet for me to vent about my life in general. And being well-spoken only intensifies that stigma. I know exactly what I want out of life. Things may not be going perfectly, but that's okay. I took the time to explore, and I feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is closer than ever. As soon as I'm settled with a job and place to live, everything will be okay

Last edited by nep321; 02-14-2013 at 10:58 AM..
 
Old 02-14-2013, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Coastal Northeast
15,830 posts, read 22,140,769 times
Reputation: 5307
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
The last two jobs I had, I had 4 weeks and 3 weeks of vacation from day one, respectively, and only worked about 40 hours per week. Wouldn't YOU feel disappointed too, if you knew that your next job would only provide 2 weeks? It's a step down from 3 weeks, which I already had at my previous job.
Then you shouldn't have quit your last job.
 
Old 02-14-2013, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,040 posts, read 13,481,889 times
Reputation: 6773
Quote:
Originally Posted by kidyankee764 View Post
Then you shouldn't have quit your last job.
I have no regrets quitting my last job. But I don't feel like getting into it now.
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