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Old 01-27-2013, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Near the Coast SWCT
65,070 posts, read 47,417,386 times
Reputation: 10533

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stylo View Post
Try Charlotte. Get it out of your system. Worst case scenario, you don't like it and move back to try the Milford/New Haven area.
This too.

Just do it. You have no tie downs. Just go. Try it, if you dont like it, post it in that states forum, and then try another location.. Whats nice about your current jobless situation here is that if it was elsewhere you would be dishing out as much as you are here. Meaning, if you dont like an area you pick, chances are you'll be spending less while you find another area.

 
Old 01-27-2013, 07:24 AM
 
Location: Live in NY State, work in CT
8,836 posts, read 14,253,287 times
Reputation: 3250
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
NYC sucks to live in. I already lived there and would never go back.

How ignorant. All of my gay friends in Charlotte said they rarely or never had any problems with being gay down there. Times are changing. And do you realize that at least half of the population of Charlotte metro are NOT from the south? That place is LOADED with New Yorkers and Yankees. My friend from Toccoa, GA moved to Charlotte and was shocked to learn that his neighbors were ALL from New York. He felt like a misfit. Hundreds of thousands of northeasterners have relocated to NC. Why can't I? Heck, the gay population and percentage is way higher there than it is in New Haven metro. All of my gay friends there say that ill be just fine and fit right in. By the same token, I would hate to move down there just to move back to CT. I can't afford to chop up my career that much. I want stability.
I don't think it's as ignorant as you say. Think about politics right now for example, all the "red state/blue state" divide. Times may be changing but there's also a lot of "backlash" to it going on.

Also, in many of those cities, there's an interesting "segregation" where the "Yankees" are in certain parts of the area, and the "rednecks" are in another. For example, a LOT of the northerners in the Raleigh-Durham area live in a large growing suburb called Cary (locals joke it stand for "Containment Area for Relocated Yankees"), but few live in or around Durham. Another friend of mine who lives in Glen Allen (suburb north of Richmond, VA) say the northerners concentrate there and in the northern part of Richmond, while the southern part of the city down to Petersburg is very "Old South".

Again, I'm not saying you'd be totally miserable in Charlotte. It (as well as other NC cities, and as bob said some TN cities and certainly Atlanta) is certainly not the South of the 1960s, and having visited Charlotte and the other NC cities at some point during the 2000s, you certainly wouldn't be the only person without a Southern accent either. If I remember from some of your posts, your politics seem to be center-right, so you might in that sense (though those who tend "right" down there tend to be less gay-friendly then those of similar political ilk up North) even fit in a little better than the average "Yankee" down there (I imagine bobtn feels that way about living in TN and fitting in).

While you seem to be unsure and a bit "flighty", you're also young an unattached (unlike my brother-in-law's case, though he was also a few years older than you when they moved), so if it's not going to cause complete financial ruin for you, at best you can always try it and move back if it doesn't work out. Despite my misgivings, in your shoes I can imagine wondering if I'd say "what if" the rest of my life if I didn't try it. Whatever you do, good luck and all the best!
 
Old 01-27-2013, 08:54 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,038 posts, read 13,393,573 times
Reputation: 6755
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cambium View Post
This too.

Just do it. You have no tie downs. Just go. Try it, if you dont like it, post it in that states forum, and then try another location.. Whats nice about your current jobless situation here is that if it was elsewhere you would be dishing out as much as you are here. Meaning, if you dont like an area you pick, chances are you'll be spending less while you find another area.
True but like I said, I don't like the idea of just "trying" a new place out. Just imagine how chopped up my resume will be with all the job hopping. And all the address changes. I won't look like I am a stable person to employers. But I guess at the end of the day if I didn't like the place, I would not stay either way. Kind of like with CT now. Tried it and didn't like it.
 
Old 01-27-2013, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Ubique
4,061 posts, read 2,938,004 times
Reputation: 2494
In your career field, I wouldn't worry as much about the socio-politicial issues. Most likely your circles will be educated young professionals. It's not like you will be farming in the highlands of South Appalachia, and about to join the local Evangelical Christ Our Savior church, and are worried about being openly gay.

If you don't like large cities, yes Charlotte would be high on my career city-list too, if I was you. Go there, live your own life, mind your own business, be a decent human being and you'll be fine.

Last edited by Henry10; 01-27-2013 at 09:24 AM..
 
Old 01-27-2013, 11:47 AM
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11,386 posts, read 9,875,689 times
Reputation: 6580
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
True but like I said, I don't like the idea of just "trying" a new place out. Just imagine how chopped up my resume will be with all the job hopping. And all the address changes. I won't look like I am a stable person to employers. But I guess at the end of the day if I didn't like the place, I would not stay either way. Kind of like with CT now. Tried it and didn't like it.
I don't like trying a place out, either. I like to move somewhere and know I am going to like it and be there for years to come. But at some point you are going to have to just go.

Every city has a flaw, and until you do move, you will find that something about it changes your mind on moving to that city. You will really have to move somewhere and accept the place for what it is. Because there really is not going to be an end-all-be-all place for you, but rather a city you like and could stand living in.
 
Old 01-27-2013, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Coastal Connecticut
14,740 posts, read 17,977,138 times
Reputation: 3336
To the comment that NH is limited finance-networking wise, consider living in Milford allows a train commute to Stamford and a commute to New Haven, while offering relatively inexpensive housing (compared to the big cities in the region) with access to the social scene in NH.

Although I still think nep should do the move for the experience and change, he's got a pretty good fallback too.
 
Old 01-27-2013, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,038 posts, read 13,393,573 times
Reputation: 6755
Today I drove down to the New Haven area just to assist me in my decision, and decided to drive around and check it out. I would say I'm indifferent to the area. Although, it seems slightly more run down than the Hartford area. It's also a smaller area, with most of the population situated directly along the coast. As soon as you go 5+ miles inland, New Haven county becomes quite rural/suburban. The next urban areas, really, are way up in Meriden or out in Waterbury, Ansonia and Derby.....none of which are desirable areas to live in, quite frankly. If I were to live near New Haven, I'd go with Milford, Hamden, West Haven, East Haven, North Haven or Branford. But I'm beginning to wonder if it would really be a significant lifestyle improvement over Hartford County.

Maybe Charlotte would be the more exciting and fresh lifestyle experience, for better or worse. However, one of my friends who was also my age and gay is from Weston and tried living in Charlotte for a while and only lasted 8 months. He said he was bothered by a noticeable decrease in the amount of educated people, and how people frequently asked him about church, even though he was nonreligious. Now he lives in Stratford, CT. I'm not religious either, so I'll have to see for myself I guess. Just because one person had a bad experience doesn't mean I will. But still....it worries me :\
 
Old 01-27-2013, 06:06 PM
 
4,787 posts, read 8,774,116 times
Reputation: 12592
Aarrrgghh Nep --

A few posts back you were just arguing the opposite the with another poster who commented on
Southerners asking about religion.

As you have been told time and time again, no place is perfect . Pick someplace already and be done with it.
 
Old 01-27-2013, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Ubique
4,061 posts, read 2,938,004 times
Reputation: 2494
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stylo View Post
To the comment that NH is limited finance-networking wise, consider living in Milford allows a train commute to Stamford and a commute to New Haven, while offering relatively inexpensive housing (compared to the big cities in the region) with access to the social scene in NH.

Although I still think nep should do the move for the experience and change, he's got a pretty good fallback too.
Very true. I forgot that Stamford probably offers as much job opportunities as Charlotte in his field. Besides, who knows, if someone offered him a much better job in NYC, for "crazy" money, maybe his view of NYC would change.
 
Old 01-27-2013, 06:36 PM
 
Location: San Diego
535 posts, read 391,486 times
Reputation: 518
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stratford, Ct. Resident View Post


So, New Haven, Charolotte, Rochester....what other ones are we missing? Level of urgency keeps changing, too.
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