Everyone keeps saying Cali is so different. I can understand why, but what exactly are the differences in the way people go about their lives?
I am a native Californian who spends summers in CT. We are relocating to Lyme in June. Here are some general thoughts, keeping in mind they are from a 42 year old housewife's perspective.
CA is a lot of what people say it is, but I honestly think that everyone's experience is different. Things that might annoy me about CA, you might love. I know there are a lot of things about CT that I like that maybe you take for granted. Anyway, here is just a little running commentary at 4:45 am on a Tuesday in October...ask me tomorrow and I could tell you something different..
We have great weather. Sunny and lovely almost all the time. It rarely rains. When it does, we drive poorly and act like we are going to be washed away. "June Gloom" will cover the coast in the summer months, meaning that it is overcast in the morning, but you can be at the beach by 12. I guess I have always taken the nice weather for granted because it is just how it is. We live by the beach, and it is lovely.
The reality of the traffic situation here simply cannot be understated. There is just tons of it - all times of day and night. The will be strange times of traffic in the middle of the day for no reason, and there is no real way to predict how long it will take you to get anywhere, so you just build in a lot of travel time.
Illegal immigrants are everywhere. This is just a fact of life, and not one that I see changing any time soon. This makes it very easy to get cheap help from the housekeeper to the gardner to basically any service oriented job. If you hire a painter, the crew he brings is entirely hispanic. It is hard to get used to this from the standpoint of making sure that at least one person on the team speaks English. If you need any kind of help with something like clearing your yard, you head out to Home Depot and there will be a day labor contingent ready and able to help you with anything. We as a result of our large hispanic population have some of the most amazing Mexican food you will ever eat. I have yet to find a good taco in CT.
The overall "vibe" here is absolutely as different from CT as day and night, to use a cliched phrase. People here, at least in Long Beach, are extremely laid back. Shorts and flip flops are the norm almost everywhere. I never really see this in CT..there I am more apt to see people who look more preppy or classically dressed overall, but here it is just super casual at almost all events. I like the "feel" of things a bit better here than there. People seem happier on the street. Saying hi and chit chatting is not unusual, whereas there sometimes my attempts at shooting the breeze are met with a perplexed look that always makes me laugh. Here, when I look at the people in town, out and about, often they seem as though they are having a good time, whereas there I rarely see this in CT.
I love the casual aspect of things but hate it as well. I was raised in a traditional Irish Catholic family. Things were done a certain way. Funerals you wore dark clothes. Weddings were a time to dress up. Thank you notes were always sent. It seems as time has gone on, those things have changed to a more anything goes status. At funerals or weddings it is not unusual to see people dressed very casually - nice pants, flip flops and a hawaiian shirt. I never can figure it out. I had to write a note to the parochial school that my daughters attend and complain that the teachers were hard to distinguish from the students...flip flops, t shirts, low waisted paints - hard to take seriously. Most of the children of my friends call me by my first name, and not at my suggestion. I realize that my kids do the same thing, now that I think about it
Lots of focus on the look of things - yourself, your car, your house etc. I make an effort every day to take the kids to school looking done...hair, makeup etc. I am one of the few at school who drives an "old" car - 2004. It seems like every year the favorite changes and then everyone gets that one.
For a while it was Suburbans, now it is Escalades...Sometimes it is just really hard to keep up. When I am in CT, I rarely feel this way. I go to the market with my hair pulled back, and I would never do that here. Honestly, it took me a long time to realize that CA was not the norm. I thought everyone was like we are, when in fact I guess we are the anomaly. Who knew?
The pace here seems frantic, but I know I am comparing it to Lyme, which is not a fair comparison at all. Regardless, it is work more, make more, have more, be more. From parents to the kids. People are always running somewhere - school, work, the mall, sports practice..and getting anywhere takes time due to traffic, which just adds more the the frantic nature of things.
Things are expensive, but I think that's the same everywhere. I know our housing is quite expensive, but nicer areas of CT is expensive as well. I guess it depends on where you want to live. I know our prices are coming down quite a bit. The price of gas is always so funny to me because ours is more expensive than yours, but we manufacture a lot of it...you'd think it would be cheaper. State taxes and fees add a lot.
It is early here, so I know I am forgetting quite a bit, and am probably not as succint as I could be. In my opinion, you are young and without children...if there is any time to have an adventure with your soon to be wife, now's the time. What's the harm in coming out and giving it a go? It might be a nice bonding experience for you both. Most of my friends who have moved out to CA from the east love the experience, but they are always happy to return home, particularly once the kids make an appearance.
Please let me know if I can help you further. Good luck.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
