[nonny]

Do you need to commute every day? Check out Westchester County. Lots of great towns there. If not, Weston is nice. Small, good schools. Laid back. Nice houses.

[Stylo]

Originally Posted by mlassoff

+1 for about as honest as an assessment you will find...

+2

And The Goose is definitely Darienish!

[Wilton2ParkAve]

New Canaan and Wilton also do not have a temple in town.

[Mr&MrBrooklyn]

Originally Posted by Okayedge

I live in Darien and can hopefully help you out a little bit.

To address the first part of your post above-whoever wrote that is misinformed. Darien is about as conservative a town as you can find in the suburban NYC area, both from a political standpoint and from a cultural perspective. Based on previous elections, the town has voted around 2-1 in favor of Republican candidates in most state and national races. It's not even close. People dress conservatively, too. Vineyard Vines wins the day. If you'll be happy wearing anything you see in the Darien Sport Shop, then you'll fit right in.

I do know of one gay couple that lives nearby, but I don't believe they have children. I wish I could tell you more, but that's all I know. I know of a gay child who went through the Darien school system, and my understanding was that his life was very difficult.

Darien has earned its reputation as homogeneous over the years (the old joke was that diversity in Darien is a brunette). I think that's changing, but slowly. Many Jews won't even consider living here, it's the only town in Fairfield County without a synagogue or any Jewish organization whatsoever. The town's history is not one of friendliness toward Jews. Though we do know a few Jewish people who live here, my guess is that it wouldn't be the most comfortable place for many to live, even if the days of outward hostility toward Jews have long since passed.

At the same time, I think people here are generally more private, and perhaps that can sometimes be mistaken for snobby or conservative. It's not the most friendly place, but people generally won't get up in your business (they'll just gossip behind your back-I've heard my share).

It's an extremely wealthy town, though that doesn't appear to be an issue for you. Lots of country club/beach club memberships, lots of weekends and summers in Nantucket or Martha's Vineyard.

It's definitely a jock culture, with a particularly heavy emphasis on lacrosse. It has to be one of the Lax Bro capitals of America.

We've been here with our kids for a few years. We're not certain we're going to stay. We've met some nice and very cool people, but overall, not that excited with the vibe.

If you're looking to get a true feel for the town, my advice would be (though I'm not sure what your time frame is):

-get a couple of drinks at The Goose on the Post Rd on a Friday night; that should give you a feel for the Darien crowd
-go to Cherry Lawn Park on a nice weekday afternoon and spend some time at the playground there to see what the moms/kids/nannies are like; strike up some conversations
--in the summer they have kids movies/concerts at Weed Beach, check those out

Good luck!

Thank you very much for this wonderful and detailed response. We've been talking a lot and might give Darien a miss at this point. It's a beautiful town, but from the response I've received from many people both here and elsewhere, I think Darien might just be a little too conservative for the likes of us. We'll still keep the town in mind, but I think we will turn most of our attention to Greenwich (after paying a couple of visits), Stamford and perhaps Westchester County. We considered New Jersey, but I've been the target one too many times of homophobic abuse from drunk Jersey people...

[jesse_f]

I'd hate to see you trade away from CT, but if you look at Westchester you should include the river towns - definitely a liberal city-ish vibe there (Tarrytown, Dobbs Ferry, Irvington, Hastings, and Ardsdale).

[seymourct]

All these posts forgot to say.. Welcome to CT.
Having been raised in Trumbull, we always had a hard time with kids from Darien. They were kind of taught (thru peer pressure) to be more egalitarian. A certain pride in being from that zip code. Not sure if this is still true.

[Mr&MrBrooklyn]

Hmm.. Darien seems to be a very divisive town, for both inhabitants and those who know it by reputation!

I've heard from a lot of Darienites (if that's what they are called?) who seem very sure that the town would welcome us with open arms - both straight and LGBT residents!

We are actually checking out a home in Darien next week, and actually another in New Canaan. I won't go into asking for information on New Canaan, from what I've heard Darien and New Canaan share quite similar histories, reputations and, in my opinion, are quite similar in appearance, minus the peaceful Darien beaches.

[Okayedge]

Originally Posted by Wilton2ParkAve

New Canaan and Wilton also do not have a temple in town.

I had Wilton and New Canaan in mind when i said "Synagogue or Jewish organization." It's true that neither town has a temple, but both have some sort of organized Jewish presence (Chabad in New Canaan and the Jewish Center in Wilton, though that may have closed, in which case we were both half-right).

Darien does not and has never had anything like that.

[Mr&MrBrooklyn]

Originally Posted by Okayedge

I had Wilton and New Canaan in mind when i said "Synagogue or Jewish organization." It's true that neither town has a temple, but both have some sort of organized Jewish presence (Chabad in New Canaan and the Jewish Center in Wilton, though that may have closed, in which case we were both half-right).

Darien does not and has never had anything like that.

I love the Jews, in fact most of my friends in New York are Jewish - though Hasidics are part of the reason we're located. Temples and a large Jewish population are not essential for us, however

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe wealthier Jewish families tend to reside in Westchester and Rockland Counties? Or am I stereotyping?

[seymourct]

I have no doubt that both towns would welcome you & your husband. Just not an issue in CT.