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Old 06-17-2014, 06:55 AM
 
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We feel the same way in Shelton. We are having a really hard time meeting other families. We both work f/t and have a 14 month old, have been in Shelton for 2 years and have yet to meet any other families. It is frustrating...
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Old 06-17-2014, 11:34 AM
 
Location: 4222'55.2"N 7124'46.8"W
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I feel this way in most of the affluent suburbs of Boston too. It must be a New England thing. The vast majority of adults living in NE were born in NE and went to school here. They have their friends and are set in their ways. They are polite to newcomers, but have no desire to make new friends. I found the best way for a newcomer to make new friends is by finding other newcomers who are in the same situation. As others have said, this can be through alumni groups or other organizations where you share a common interest with other people.
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Old 06-23-2014, 11:06 AM
 
151 posts, read 182,494 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parsec View Post
I feel this way in most of the affluent suburbs of Boston too. It must be a New England thing. The vast majority of adults living in NE were born in NE and went to school here. They have their friends and are set in their ways. They are polite to newcomers, but have no desire to make new friends.
TOTALLY. I am from the west coast, and found NYC to be friendly but CT so unwelcoming! It's like if they actually spoke to you they'd say "Oh, sorry, we don't want new friends, we're all set." Add in the communities that have money or areas with money - I lived in Shippan and we bordered some very wealthy families. Those women positively look right through you - Darien same thing. Fairfield I've encountered more smiles so I'm hopeful about my new home :-)

Can I say I find it kind of funny that the OP makes a big point about being open and honest but never actually said where s/he was from? Don't worry, we are not tracking you!!
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Old 06-23-2014, 12:27 PM
 
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west hartford is a very diverse town with a mix of lots of different people including Europeans they have two walkable shopping areas with a mix of shopping and dinning with foods from all over the world.

but west hartford is in the central ct area a long ways from where you are.

i just moved to middletown from new britain, where i am now we have some very friendly neighbors and some that are stuck up, and then some who would rather scream at all hours of the night at there children. everywhere you go you get good and you get bad
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Old 06-26-2014, 12:54 PM
 
25 posts, read 18,347 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parsec View Post
I feel this way in most of the affluent suburbs of Boston too. It must be a New England thing. The vast majority of adults living in NE were born in NE and went to school here. They have their friends and are set in their ways. They are polite to newcomers, but have no desire to make new friends. I found the best way for a newcomer to make new friends is by finding other newcomers who are in the same situation. As others have said, this can be through alumni groups or other organizations where you share a common interest with other people.
That was my point:It is a New Englang atmosphere: cold climate and cold personalities.
We used to live in Stratford where it felt like everyone knew everyone in town. People went to High School together, had their siblings with families living there too. They practiclly never left USA, so why would they want to be friends with people from "another planet"? We just moved to Trumbull and it is too early to say anything,but I am pretty sure,that when it comes to people being friendly, open to newcomers, Stratford , Shelton, Trumbull or Monroe...It does not matter. I am sure we will still feel isolated as ever...
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Old 06-26-2014, 04:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alakoala View Post
That was my point:It is a New Englang atmosphere: cold climate and cold personalities.
We used to live in Stratford where it felt like everyone knew everyone in town. People went to High School together, had their siblings with families living there too. They practiclly never left USA, so why would they want to be friends with people from "another planet"? We just moved to Trumbull and it is too early to say anything,but I am pretty sure,that when it comes to people being friendly, open to newcomers, Stratford , Shelton, Trumbull or Monroe...It does not matter. I am sure we will still feel isolated as ever...
I'm truly at a loss here on what to say. Stratford has become hella diverse in the past 10 years, pretty much all throughout the town, with the *possible* exception of the Oronoque/Putney/Lordship neighborhoods. These diverse residents definitely didn't have prior ties/roots to the town.




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Old 06-26-2014, 05:22 PM
 
1,137 posts, read 2,028,665 times
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Sorry you're unhappy with CT. To say cold personalities is untrue though. It just is necessary here socially to be quietly respectful of others privacy. While it is proper to inquire "how are you", its improper to assume someone will tell you.. because if you expect an answer you'd be prying. Knowing that the inquirer doesn't want to pry, then the respondent will say "I'm good, Thanks" so as to not to make the inquirer feel too intrusive. It isn't cold it is respectful. Now that said, you want a more overt friendship. You need to start consistantly showing up at playgroups, gymnastics classes, etc. places that parents wait while kids play. Then throw out a few comments to the other parents about anything that opens up a conversation w/out being conspicuously friend shopping. Find common ground.. it can happen.. you just need let it take time.
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Old 06-26-2014, 08:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by seymourct View Post
Sorry you're unhappy with CT. To say cold personalities is untrue though. It just is necessary here socially to be quietly respectful of others privacy. While it is proper to inquire "how are you", its improper to assume someone will tell you.. because if you expect an answer you'd be prying. Knowing that the inquirer doesn't want to pry, then the respondent will say "I'm good, Thanks" so as to not to make the inquirer feel too intrusive. It isn't cold it is respectful. Now that said, you want a more overt friendship. You need to start consistantly showing up at playgroups, gymnastics classes, etc. places that parents wait while kids play. Then throw out a few comments to the other parents about anything that opens up a conversation w/out being conspicuously friend shopping. Find common ground.. it can happen.. you just need let it take time.
Thank you for a helpful advise. Believe me, I do know savoir-vivre and the proper etiquette and I do recognize the fact that it differs from country to country. I can asure you that I am very respectful. I can recognize the "social cues" and people's intensions easily. I never try to push anyone into a conversation and I try to be as nice as possible to everybody. I meet a lot of parents "at playgroups, gymnastic classes, etc.places that parents wait while kids play" that do not even bother to say "hello" or smile. Of course I do not want to be friends with this type of people...at all.
I do not want to offend anyone and maybe "cold personalities" is not the right word. I am just trying to express my personal opinion and as you can read there is a group of others to support it. Of coure any general statement characterizing human beings is unfair!!!
Please shere your opinion about people in New England.
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Old 08-21-2014, 09:10 PM
 
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I am really curious if Americans( who were born here) ever really open their hearts to anyone and talk about their feelings.everything seems to always be fine or okay. Are there any moments that they talk about their fears, unhappiness, problems at all? Please respond and share the answers with me.
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Old 08-21-2014, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Northern Fairfield Co.
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Originally Posted by alakoala View Post
I am really curious if Americans( who were born here) ever really open their hearts to anyone and talk about their feelings.everything seems to always be fine or okay. Are there any moments that they talk about their fears, unhappiness, problems at all? Please respond and share the answers with me.
Yes, I think when we are young/children we are more open to this sort of thing than when we are adults and have families, etc -- Life has a a habit of getting in our way unfortunately. But I think this is more a global cultural thing, and not just limited to Americans. Other than that, what you describe is typically limited to close friends and family only -- Not to everyone. (At least for me that's how it tends to play out). Can't speak for everyone though. *Disclaimer* unless of course it's that one in a million type person that happens to cross your path -- you know the kind of person you click with immediately and instantaneously. I'm 43 and can count on one hand the number of times this has happened to me in my entire lifetime . A rare occurrence for sure, but when it happens, it's almost always life altering and definitely special. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Hang in there -- it can only get better!
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