[Stratford, Ct. Resident]

Originally Posted by andthentherewere3

Yeah, make-up is not optional! Never!

Originally Posted by CTartist&musician

If it's in moderation......

[Armyvet1]

Originally Posted by andthentherewere3

Yeah, make-up is not optional! Never!

It sounds more and more like they are both immature and need counseling, not just marriage counseling, but also career and individual counseling as neither can decide where they want to go in life. They both have great educations and by this point (mid 30's) both should have a solid career. But neither do. If they'd planned their careers and savings properly the wife could have taken the time off to stay home with the baby, but she left her job too soon, and he never found a solid job. So now they are just adrift. The time for searching for that dream job has passed, they can't afford to be so idealistic anymore. They both share the responsibility for the situation they are in.

Agreed. Still I would assume since she walked away from a law job it properly was never her dream to begin with so she wasted a bunch of money in law school instead of using that money to pursue her dream, whatever that may be.

[LRPct]

Originally Posted by lol-its-good4U

I'm sorry but respectfully imho she doesn't love her husband because if she did she would've acted differently/positively and also mentally already checked out of their marriage long enough ago. I feel her "coldness" from here as the car issues (thank GOD he and his son are okay) is an act by her to justify what I said in my previous post. One thing that I wish for is that I'm SO VERY MISTAKEN.

Originally Posted by CTartist&musician

Armyvet1,

God bless you and thank you for your service to your country!

My make up is not a want for most woman, it is a necessity and I am sure most woman think just like me. I won't even go out to my mailbox without my makeup let alone to work and out in public. I have had lots of friends who have made a nice little income selling Avon and Mary Kay etc. after they built a nice client base. I don't always need to get my car fixed but I wear my makeup EVERYDAY as I am sure most other woman do. If you can build a good client base it can be good steady extra income for a stay at home mom. I am sure your business didn't happen over night, my dad's business didn't either, and she will need some time and perseverance to get going.

"The report, Beauty at any Cost, noted U.S. women spent some $7 billion a year, or an average of about $100 each, on cosmetics and beauty products. That $100 a month......"
How Much Do You Spend on Makeup? TheGloss


BTW, you probably don't realize this but in a bad economy when woman don't have a lot of money for more expensive luxuries we spend more on makeup (especially lipstick) because it makes us feel better. I certainly can attest to the lipstick.

"The more insecure the economy, the more money women spend on beauty products."
'The Lipstick Effect': Women Spend More On Beauty Products During Recessions, Study Says


I almost forgot in all these posts, the most important thing they should do right away is go see a marriage therapist.

A total moot point being that the OP made it clear in this situation that the Mary Kaye or whatever is most certainly not helping much to oay the bills.

And IMHO "Always needing makeup" is about one of the most immature and dysfunctional things Ive ever heard.

[CTartist&musician]

Originally Posted by LRPct

And IMHO "Always needing makeup" is about one of the most immature and dysfunctional things Ive ever heard.

LOL, this is one of those "Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus" things.

Just trust me and thentherewere3 (another woman), the majority of women (especially working women) wear makeup EVERY DAY and it is worked into our budgets no matter what.

I have been married for 30 years and when my husband is with me when I buy makeup he still says........

* you need makeup again?
* how many lipsticks do you need anyway?
* HOW MUCH IS THAT??????
* why do you wear makeup anyway, your pretty you don't need it.
* hold on, I need to call the bank to get a loan to pay for all this stuff.

etc. etc. etc.

If my husband does not get it (me wearing makeup) after 30 years I certainly don't expect the men on here to get it either.

[Lalalally]

Originally Posted by CTartist&musician

LOL, this is one of those "Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus" things.

Just trust me and thentherewere3 (another woman), the majority of women (especially working women) wear makeup EVERY DAY and it is worked into our budgets no matter what.

I have been married for 30 years and when my husband is with me when I buy makeup he still says........

* you need makeup again?
* how many lipsticks do you need anyway?
* HOW MUCH IS THAT??????
* why do you wear makeup anyway, your pretty you don't need it.
* hold on, I need to call the bank to get a loan to pay for all this stuff.

etc. etc. etc.

If my husband does not get it (me wearing makeup) after 30 years I certainly don't expect the men on here to get it either.

I am definitely the exception to this! LOL! Although I am all about my hair. (I love it and it's really my prized possession LOL!) And I spend WAY (WAY) too much money on it! And I really mean Way... I can drop an easy $150 on shampoo, conditioner, spray and sculpting "product" without missing a beat. But my makeup is limited to mascara and lip gloss only, so I guess my 'beauty' budget evens itself out

[Mr.Quiet]

I'll save everyone some typing.
The woman has no spine. Sorry for the dude. He wants to downsize and needs to downsize. Just do it.

[JayCT]

Originally Posted by eschaton

My friend and his wife are not from poor backgrounds. We grew up middle class in Trumbull. He has a double BS in Geology and Astronomy. He was a pretty good student, but he was the kind of guy who always took 21 credits and had two incompletes at the end of a semester - always biting off more than he could chew. He started a bunch of graduate programs later on, including an MBA, but I'm unsure if he finished any of them.

After college, he ended up sort of backing into quality control testing for food manufacturing companies, which he did for around seven years. I never asked how much he made, but I presumed it was somewhere above $50,000, but under $100,000, because at the time he considered my salary (I work in a nonprofit type job) as being "too small." The last job involved a two-hour commute to Northern New Jersey, and he was slowly being retrained to be a manager, and he decided he hated management. He quit right around when his wife was pregnant, thinking he'd be able to find something better closer to home, which he hasn't. Honestly, he's always been the kind of guy who changes his mind frequently about what he wants to do. In recent years he's considered joining the Coast Guard, becoming a landscape architect, and being adjunct faculty somewhere (which I explained was an awful job). But he is pretty highly educated.

I don't know the educational background of his wife, but her father was a lawyer and lives in Westchester County, so I'm sure she got a pretty good degree from somewhere. As I said, she had some sort of law-related job at a venture capital firm when they first married, but she hated it and quit. At one point she wanted to go back to school to be a vet, but that didn't work out.

He quit a job with a pregnant wife in a down economy??? There sounds like a LOT more to this than was originally made out to be. Jay

[Armyvet1]

Originally Posted by Lalalally

I am definitely the exception to this! LOL! Although I am all about my hair. (I love it and it's really my prized possession LOL!) And I spend WAY (WAY) too much money on it! And I really mean Way... I can drop an easy $150 on shampoo, conditioner, spray and sculpting "product" without missing a beat. But my makeup is limited to mascara and lip gloss only, so I guess my 'beauty' budget evens itself out

150 dollars on shampoo? Haven't you ever heard of Suave? It's like 99 cents a bottle, where is it that you shop?

My wife buys all the shampoos and groceries for our household and when I go take a shower I just want a simple bottle of shampoo. However what I get is all these exotic scented shampoos, conditioners, body washes, I mean good lord ladies, it took me 5 minutes to find a bottle of shampoo the other night, I almost put body wash in my hair, I thought it was shampoo.

[Raider111]

Originally Posted by Armyvet1

150 dollars on shampoo? Haven't you ever heard of Suave? It's like 99 cents a bottle, where is it that you shop?

My wife buys all the shampoos and groceries for our household and when I go take a shower I just want a simple bottle of shampoo. However what I get is all these exotic scented shampoos, conditioners, body washes, I mean good lord ladies, it took me 5 minutes to find a bottle of shampoo the other night, I almost put body wash in my hair, I thought it was shampoo.

We get it, you like the simple things in life, that's fine. Some people like to splurge now and then on something, you only live once.

[Armyvet1]

Originally Posted by Raider111

We get it, you like the simple things in life, that's fine. Some people like to splurge now and then on something, you only live once.

150 dollars on shampoo you're going to die poor.