[CT_Yank]

Originally Posted by kidyankee764

Do you have anything to back this up? I ask because I know of several firms in lower FFC that are hiring like crazy, all which pay very well. Salaries are close to that of Manhattan, and there are so many city employees who make the reverse commute that several firms provide shuttle buses to/from the FFC office.

More empirical evidence, I work in finance sector in CT and banking employment retraction has impacted many colleagues in last year particularly UBS, RBS and GE Capital downsizing. Some at UBS could keep their job if willing to commute to Weekhawken, NJ facility. Tough choice. I don't know anyone who found another finance job in CT. Most took consulting gigs in NYC. Some recommended changing industries altogether. What industry are you referring to in lower CT? I would say most my colleagues had total comp. between 150k - 200k. Crickets at that range..I've tested it myself. Maybe some hedge funds but they are small hires.

[AMSS]

Originally Posted by Mike 75

Agreed. I know several families who went through the same exact experience, both in Stamford and Norwalk. Its pretty common. Young couple moves out from the city, settles in Norwalk or Stamford, stay there for a few years until their first kid is on the way and then start looking at the surrounding towns.

The point is they are going on the word of others who most of the time aren't even in the school system. I get wanting to shelter your kids. I did that too before we got my son. I can tell you that I learned quickly that schools are never as "bad" as the rumors you hear. And even if there is an undesirable element, that doesn't mean your kid will get sucked into it.

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by AMSS

The point is they are going on the word of others who most of the time aren't even in the school system. I get wanting to shelter your kids. I did that too before we got my son. I can tell you that I learned quickly that schools are never as "bad" as the rumors you hear. And even if there is an undesirable element, that doesn't mean your kid will get sucked into it.

Exactly. And tossing that information out as third hand on a thread further reduces accuracy.

[JayCT]

Originally Posted by AMSS

The point is they are going on the word of others who most of the time aren't even in the school system. I get wanting to shelter your kids. I did that too before we got my son. I can tell you that I learned quickly that schools are never as "bad" as the rumors you hear. And even if there is an undesirable element, that doesn't mean your kid will get sucked into it.

As I said the couple I was talking about was not basing their decision on "rumors". They based it on actual experiences of people they met when they moved to Norwalk. While you may view this as sheltering your child, I view it as protecting them as much as possible from problems. No one can completely protect their child from the real world but as a parent I want to try and keep them as safe as possible and give them the best chance I can. To me and most people that means living in a town where the schools are generally safe and free of most of the issues that typical urban schools have. Of course you and the OP may not agree but no one should degrade a parent for making that choice for their child. JMHO, Jay

[JayCT]

Originally Posted by kidyankee764

Exactly. And tossing that information out as third hand on a thread further reduces accuracy.

Come on now Kidyankee, I believe you and your family live in an affluent suburb that has excellent schools but is somewhat removed from your DW's job. Why is that? Jay

[Mike 75]

Originally Posted by AMSS

The point is they are going on the word of others who most of the time aren't even in the school system. I get wanting to shelter your kids. I did that too before we got my son. I can tell you that I learned quickly that schools are never as "bad" as the rumors you hear. And even if there is an undesirable element, that doesn't mean your kid will get sucked into it.

When you meet a parent who teaches in Norwalk and tells you that they wouldn't send their kids to school there, I'd say that's pretty compelling, first hand info.

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by JayCT

Come on now Kidyankee, I believe you and your family live in an affluent suburb that has excellent schools but is somewhat removed from your DW's job. Why is that? Jay

It's mostly because I like to be away from crowds, traffic and have my own space. I have zero desire to live in an area like Fairfield or Norwalk where houses are on top of each other in comparison. And I can't afford to spend over a million bucks on a modest house in one of the more rural towns so that is why I moved north. I have a decent house on over an acre on a cul de sac with only about 9 houses.

[AMSS]

Originally Posted by JayCT

As I said the couple I was talking about was not basing their decision on "rumors". They based it on actual experiences of people they met when they moved to Norwalk. While you may view this as sheltering your child, I view it as protecting them as much as possible from problems. No one can completely protect their child from the real world but as a parent I want to try and keep them as safe as possible and give them the best chance I can. To me and most people that means living in a town where the schools are generally safe and free of most of the issues that typical urban schools have. Of course you and the OP may not agree but no one should degrade a parent for making that choice for their child. JMHO, Jay

The bolded works both ways, ahem.

You want to know what my son ended up being sheltered from:

ultra competitive parents
entitled kids living in fantasy land whose parents cover everything
expensive 16th birthday parties at a banquet hall
expectations that he was getting a car better than what the teachers drove when he got his license
athletic coaches not feeling obligated to kids of certain parents
pressure to conform
pressure to have material things
no one looking down their nose at kids who entered community college or state schools
classmates renting beach houses on prom night

I can go on. Does that mean all kids in non-urban schools are like that? No. But my kid didn't have anxiety over the stupid things that kids in suburban schools can have either.

[AMSS]

Originally Posted by Mike 75

When you meet a parent who teaches in Norwalk and tells you that they wouldn't send their kids to school there, I'd say that's pretty compelling, first hand info.

One person...who likely won't be teaching in Norwalk much long either if she hates it that much. Fortunately most teachers I know in urban areas are proud of their work. I know people in the Westport system that won't send their kids to school there...see how many kids were suicidal there over the past two years. Pros and cons to everything.

[JayCT]

Originally Posted by AMSS

The bolded works both ways, ahem.

You want to know what my son ended up being sheltered from:

ultra competitive parents
entitled kids living in fantasy land whose parents cover everything
expensive 16th birthday parties at a banquet hall
expectations that he was getting a car better than what the teachers drove when he got his license
athletic coaches not feeling obligated to kids of certain parents
pressure to conform
pressure to have material things
no one looking down their nose at kids who entered community college or state schools
classmates renting beach houses on prom night

I can go on. Does that mean all kids in non-urban schools are like that? No. But my kid didn't have anxiety over the stupid things that kids in suburban schools can have either.

I really think you have been watching too many television sitcoms. My kids went to school in an affluent town and I can tell you it was rare that they saw any of this. My take on each of these:

ultra competitive parents - Only one instance and I used it as a lesson of what not to do instead of ignoring it or trying to dismiss it
entitled kids living in fantasy land whose parents cover everything - None of my kids or their friends are like this AT ALL
expensive 16th birthday parties at a banquet hall - Never happened in my kids circle of friends but they did go to a couple of bar/bat mitzvahs that were somewhat elaborate
expectations that he was getting a car better than what the teachers drove when he got his license Not my kids or any of their friends
athletic coaches not feeling obligated to kids of certain parents - the only favoritism I saw was the high school baseball coach selected only members of the State Champion Little League team to be on the high school team but that had nothing to do with the parents
pressure to conform - this happens in all class levels including urban schools
pressure to have material things - my kids and all of their friends are not materialistic at all
no one looking down their nose at kids who entered community college or state schools - the majority of the kids in my kids high school went to state schools
classmates renting beach houses on prom night - The high school hosts an after-prom party at the high school that most kids go to. Don't know anyone who rented a beach house or even a hotel room for after prom partying

I am not saying that some of this does not happen but honestly it is so rare that you really are not protecting your kids from any of these. Your list is just as bad as the list of what suburban parents commonly say they fear in urban schools which includes drugs, violence, lower academic expectations, indifferent parents and a host of other things I won't get into. Jay