[goldenband]

Originally Posted by JViello

John McCain cheated on his wife?

Where did I miss that newsflash?

Can you post a link to the news story?

This wasn't Cindy McCain, but his first wife, Carol. Here's one link about it, and you can read more in the Wiki article for Carol McCain.

There were also rumors (at one point mentioned by the NY Times) that he cheated on Cindy with a lobbyist named Vicki Iseman, but those remain unsubstantiated as far as I know.

[Lincolnian]

Originally Posted by goldenband

This wasn't Cindy McCain, but his first wife, Carol. Here's one link about it, and you can read more in the Wiki article for Carol McCain.

There were also rumors (at one point mentioned by the NY Times) that he cheated on Cindy with a lobbyist named Vicki Iseman, but those remain unsubstantiated as far as I know.

Thanks for providing the link on the divorce of McCain's first wife.

Although I tend to favor more of McCain's policies than Obama's I am not comfortable with someone who did not commit himself to resolving his martial issues and instead chose to pursue a relationship with a younger model. I believe it shows a major flaw in his character and makes me question his integrity.

I certainly don't believe that anyone should have to be a saint to run for president but I do believe that those who we chose to lead should exemplify strong character. I also believe that in this age of the broken family a person's commitment to his or her marriage is paramount to putting our country back on the right path.

[reason180]

Originally Posted by JViello

John McCain cheated on his wife?

Where did I miss that newsflash?

Carol McCain was faithful to her husband the entire 5 long years that he was in the prison camp. During that time she got into a car accident and become physically disabled (she was 5 inches shorter as a result of the damage to her legs). John McCain cheated on Carol with several different women when he got back to the states. What a devotion to family values!

His current wife was messing around with McCain knowing that he was married to Carol. What a lady! Cindy also had a drug addiction and abused her role in a non-profit organization to get more DRUGS!

Just imagine if Michelle Obama had done those things. You would never hear the end of it.

[Leilani Vasquez]

As a Hartford resident I'd like to elaborate on this a little.

This is just my opinion. Sometimes i flip around a little so bear with me.

I think social and family structure tied with poverty is the root of the problem.

People need to become more responsible for their actions. This needs to start at home. Poverty manifests itself in a lack of education, meaningful employment, poor housing and a lack of hope. Dysfunctional family conditions attribute to these problems, which in my opinion are: parental inadequacy, criminality, lack of communication, respect and responsiblity, and family violence. (not to mention substance abuse).

Citizens become mirrors of thier communities. This reflects on a lack of leadership and low values placed on children.

Family structure is key when raising a child. As a parent, it's my job to raise a healthy and responsible member of society and to basically put my children as a first priority.

I once read somewhere that the offender of tomorrow is often the vulnerable child of today.

I'm speaking from personal experience. My mother was on welfare until the reform of the 90's. She was then forced to work because she simply couldn't live off the significant welfare cuts. She works for a printing company now for $11/hour. If it weren't for a certain teacher I had in high school, i would have never thought about going to college, simply because of my upbringing. My mother or any members of her family never went to college and most were high school drop outs. I also had my son when I was 19. I managed to go to community college full time (I also worked), got good grades and was able to transfer to a 4 year college (to earn my bachelor's degree) at almost no cost. My point is that i did it on my own. It was my determination that got me where I am today. I was lucky enough to have family that helped me with my children while I was trying to finish my classes. I didn't want to continue the cylce that my family endured for the generations before me and i knew that there was something better out there for me. My two older sisters dropped out of high school and both had children at young ages. My younger sister (4 years younger) managed to get her teaching degree from ECSU. She found soon after graduating that she couldn't find a job (lack of experience/education). she worked as a paraprofessional while earing her master's degree and is doing extremely well for herself right now.

I can go on forever, but i'll stop now.

[JayCT]

Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez

As a Hartford resident I'd like to elaborate on this a little.

This is just my opinion. Sometimes i flip around a little so bear with me.

I think social and family structure tied with poverty is the root of the problem.

People need to become more responsible for their actions. This needs to start at home. Poverty manifests itself in a lack of education, meaningful employment, poor housing and a lack of hope. Dysfunctional family conditions attribute to these problems, which in my opinion are: parental inadequacy, criminality, lack of communication, respect and responsiblity, and family violence. (not to mention substance abuse).

Citizens become mirrors of thier communities. This reflects on a lack of leadership and low values placed on children.

Family structure is key when raising a child. As a parent, it's my job to raise a healthy and responsible member of society and to basically put my children as a first priority.

I once read somewhere that the offender of tomorrow is often the vulnerable child of today.

I'm speaking from personal experience. My mother was on welfare until the reform of the 90's. She was then forced to work because she simply couldn't live off the significant welfare cuts. She works for a printing company now for $11/hour. If it weren't for a certain teacher I had in high school, i would have never thought about going to college, simply because of my upbringing. My mother or any members of her family never went to college and most were high school drop outs. I also had my son when I was 19. I managed to go to community college full time (I also worked), got good grades and was able to transfer to a 4 year college (to earn my bachelor's degree) at almost no cost. My point is that i did it on my own. It was my determination that got me where I am today. I was lucky enough to have family that helped me with my children while I was trying to finish my classes. I didn't want to continue the cylce that my family endured for the generations before me and i knew that there was something better out there for me. My two older sisters dropped out of high school and both had children at young ages. My younger sister (4 years younger) managed to get her teaching degree from ECSU. She found soon after graduating that she couldn't find a job (lack of experience/education). she worked as a paraprofessional while earing her master's degree and is doing extremely well for herself right now.

I can go on forever, but i'll stop now.

Wow, what a great story. Thanks for sharing. You have a lot to be proud of. Best wishes, Jay

[brasscitybluenwhite]

Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez

As a Hartford resident I'd like to elaborate on this a little.

This is just my opinion. Sometimes i flip around a little so bear with me.

I think social and family structure tied with poverty is the root of the problem.

People need to become more responsible for their actions. This needs to start at home. Poverty manifests itself in a lack of education, meaningful employment, poor housing and a lack of hope. Dysfunctional family conditions attribute to these problems, which in my opinion are: parental inadequacy, criminality, lack of communication, respect and responsiblity, and family violence. (not to mention substance abuse).

Citizens become mirrors of thier communities. This reflects on a lack of leadership and low values placed on children.

Family structure is key when raising a child. As a parent, it's my job to raise a healthy and responsible member of society and to basically put my children as a first priority.

I once read somewhere that the offender of tomorrow is often the vulnerable child of today.

I'm speaking from personal experience. My mother was on welfare until the reform of the 90's. She was then forced to work because she simply couldn't live off the significant welfare cuts. She works for a printing company now for $11/hour. If it weren't for a certain teacher I had in high school, i would have never thought about going to college, simply because of my upbringing. My mother or any members of her family never went to college and most were high school drop outs. I also had my son when I was 19. I managed to go to community college full time (I also worked), got good grades and was able to transfer to a 4 year college (to earn my bachelor's degree) at almost no cost. My point is that i did it on my own. It was my determination that got me where I am today. I was lucky enough to have family that helped me with my children while I was trying to finish my classes. I didn't want to continue the cylce that my family endured for the generations before me and i knew that there was something better out there for me. My two older sisters dropped out of high school and both had children at young ages. My younger sister (4 years younger) managed to get her teaching degree from ECSU. She found soon after graduating that she couldn't find a job (lack of experience/education). she worked as a paraprofessional while earing her master's degree and is doing extremely well for herself right now.

I can go on forever, but i'll stop now.

Many people don't understand it but this is how life is to many people. The ppl I grew up with in Waterbury don't just wake up one day and say "hey i'm gonna be poor for the rest of my life" but at the same time they didn't have as many resources as others and they didn't have mentors. They did what they had to do.

I think there just needs to be laws changed. Where I'm from, when kids were 15 or 16 and they were arrested for whatever reason, they couldn't find a job because they had a record. So what did they do? They went to selling drugs. And even if they were living at home with a single parent, the parent is happy if they're not goin to school because they're bringing good money home. Its like a cycle.

[Leilani Vasquez]

In my eyes, my mother was an "enabler". I'm not speaking bad against her because she was just doing what she learned. This is how the cycle repeats itself over and over. Strong values start at home with a possitive family structure. When my older sisters dropped out of high school because they got pregnant, it wasn't a big deal. Their boyfriends always did something illegal and it was like it was accepted.

I don't want to be like that with my children. That's why I'm heavily involved in what goes on and what they do. Although I live in Hartford, I chose to send them to a magnet high school where heavy parental involvement is expected. It wasn't until I got into college, where I was around a broader range of people with different backgrounds, I got to understand that not all people live this way. When you grow up in an environment like that, it's almost like you don't know what a "normal" family is.

I just like to share my life experiences with people so they can see an entirely different side and perspective of things.

[JViello]

Wow, I just caught these replies! I guess when you walk away from the board for a few days it can happen.

Originally Posted by goldenband

This wasn't Cindy McCain, but his first wife, Carol. Here's one link about it, and you can read more in the Wiki article for Carol McCain.

There were also rumors (at one point mentioned by the NY Times) that he cheated on Cindy with a lobbyist named Vicki Iseman, but those remain unsubstantiated as far as I know.

I understand the first divorce...It sounded to me like he was supposedly cheating on Cindy.

The rumours are just that. Rumours. The NY Times has major egg on it's face because of it. Sloppy journalism IMO.

Originally Posted by Lincolnian

Although I tend to favor more of McCain's policies than Obama's I am not comfortable with someone who did not commit himself to resolving his martial issues and instead chose to pursue a relationship with a younger model. I believe it shows a major flaw in his character and makes me question his integrity.

I certainly don't believe that anyone should have to be a saint to run for president but I do believe that those who we chose to lead should exemplify strong character. I also believe that in this age of the broken family a person's commitment to his or her marriage is paramount to putting our country back on the right path.

Well sure, that sounds great on the surface. But as a person who went through a divorce myself I think I can say it's never "one sided".

What I do see, is a family - a marriage that was torn apart by a war.

No one goes through 5 years of torture without having to work out issues. Perhaps he didn't make all the right decisions. I can understand that.

It also has been 28 years since the divorce. Perhaps John has changed a bit in that regard. My divorce turned me into a very different person. I look back and can't believe some of my actions prior too.

What I do see today is a man with enough "backbone" and "integrity" to take personal responsibility for his actions.

McCain wrote in his book:

Sound marriages can be hard to recover after great time and distance have separated a husband and wife. We are different people when we reunite,"..."But my marriage's collapse was attributable to my own selfishness and immaturity more than it was to Vietnam, and I cannot escape blame by pointing a finger at the war. The blame was entirely mine

You really dont' find that mindset much. Usually it's the "ex-witch".

The fact that he can recognize and admit a shortcoming he had almost 30 years ago - to me, is enough for me to understand that may not be who he is at his core.

Originally Posted by reason180

Carol McCain was faithful to her husband the entire 5 long years that he was in the prison camp. During that time she got into a car accident and become physically disabled (she was 5 inches shorter as a result of the damage to her legs). John McCain cheated on Carol with several different women when he got back to the states. What a devotion to family values!

His current wife was messing around with McCain knowing that he was married to Carol. What a lady! Cindy also had a drug addiction and abused her role in a non-profit organization to get more DRUGS!

Reason, that right there is far left madness and why I just tune most of you people out.

Goldenband and Lincolnian at least posted information without the "hate" and "spin".

First off, McCain got divorced 7 years after he got home. Most marriages today don't even last that long to begin with.

I prefer people who have been through some "crap" and overcame it and learned from it. It's when they are in total denial ("I did not have sexual relations with that woman") or totally arrogant about or playing victom both like Obama has done.

"Junkie. Pothead. That's where I'd been headed: the final, fatal role of the young would-be black man. . . . I got high [to] push questions of who I was out of my mind."

Right, "Not my fault man, not my fault...I am a product of my environment"

"Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it. Not smack, though,"

Oh that makes is soooo much better thanks for explaining! At least he didn't hit the "smack" though. Those guys are REEEEALY bad.

Compare the quote from McCain's failing to Obama's and you have a stark contrast.

That's the reality and in their own words.

[JViello]

Originally Posted by brasscitybluenwhite

Many people don't understand it but this is how life is to many people. The ppl I grew up with in Waterbury don't just wake up one day and say "hey i'm gonna be poor for the rest of my life" but at the same time they didn't have as many resources as others and they didn't have mentors. They did what they had to do.

I think there just needs to be laws changed. Where I'm from, when kids were 15 or 16 and they were arrested for whatever reason, they couldn't find a job because they had a record. So what did they do? They went to selling drugs. And even if they were living at home with a single parent, the parent is happy if they're not goin to school because they're bringing good money home. Its like a cycle.

Law changes like what? Legalize drug use and selling? Yea, no thanks.

I also don't buy the victomhood mentality. I grew up in a single parent household in Waterbury for half of my life on Long Hill road and Ward Street. The ghetto of ghetto's. I was out there - on the streets. Believe it.

At the age of 19 I met this person called Jesus of Nazareth. My life has never been the same. Changed from the inside out.

I didn't sell drugs, and I"m not in the ghetto any longer. I'm a family man with my own business. It wasn't easy, very hard and I still struggle to keep up with those who had a better start in life but I will NOT take on the mentality that I am somehow "disadvantaged" or a "victom". They simply got a head start on me. It is what it is, and so far as I'm concerned I will work hard and live my life with as much integrity as I can.

[Leilani Vasquez]

Originally Posted by JViello

Law changes like what? Legalize drug use and selling? Yea, no thanks.

I also don't buy the victomhood mentality. I grew up in a single parent household in Waterbury for half of my life on Long Hill road and Ward Street. The ghetto of ghetto's. I was out there - on the streets. Believe it.

At the age of 19 I met this person called Jesus of Nazareth. My life has never been the same. Changed from the inside out.

I didn't sell drugs, and I"m not in the ghetto any longer. I'm a family man with my own business. It wasn't easy, very hard and I still struggle to keep up with those who had a better start in life but I will NOT take on the mentality that I am somehow "disadvantaged" or a "victom". They simply got a head start on me. It is what it is, and so far as I'm concerned I will work hard and live my life with as much integrity as I can.

I do agree with you. I hope my post didn't come across as being a victim. It wasn't intended for that.

My husband, children and I attend church regularly as well....been going for the past 4 years.