[vvolin]

Yes, mewith3, it was easier for our then 10 year old. She was in 5th grade and, while it took her most of the year to finally find some friends, and in the process she got rejected and hurt a few times, she eventually did and she is now as happy as she has ever been. I would say her experience is the same as I would have expected it to be anywhere else in a new school. On the other hand, she did not need me to make friend, like the 4 year old does. A young child can not take initiative. And if the adults are "reserved" and have not time to get to know you, then a child is hopeless...

On the other hand, the idea that in CT people are busier than anywhere else is, in my opinion and with no intention to hurt the person who made the comment, more of a stereotype than reality. People are busy here as they are in Florida, in Texas or in Italy. When I am asked if people still take long naps after lunch in Italy (where I am from), I wonder how they think we made it into the Big 7. As for being reserved, yes this may be a characteristic of people in New England. But we are not speaking of reserved people here. I believe we are considering the fact that people tend to mind their own business more so than elsewhere. This may be reservation or selfishness or, most likely, both. The two women who, outside our preschool, looked ticked off because I dared trying to get involved in their conversation (about children and school, mind you, not personal issues), were not reserved: they were rude. And so were a few too many others I have met during my first year in Glastonbury.

I believe, though, that nice people live here too. I have actually met a few of them and I am working hard to try to get closer to them without scaring them away. I hope I succeed: after all, we do not need a crowd of friends, just a few decent people who are like-minded, and open-minded as well. This takes longer in CT than it takes somewhere else. I am afraid this is, at this, undeniable given the amount of newcomers comments I have read on this board over the past year.

[Cruikshl]

Originally Posted by vvolin

Yes, mewith3, it was easier for our then 10 year old. She was in 5th grade and, while it took her most of the year to finally find some friends, and in the process she got rejected and hurt a few times, she eventually did and she is now as happy as she has ever been. I would say her experience is the same as I would have expected it to be anywhere else in a new school. On the other hand, she did not need me to make friend, like the 4 year old does. A young child can not take initiative. And if the adults are "reserved" and have not time to get to know you, then a child is hopeless...

On the other hand, the idea that in CT people are busier than anywhere else is, in my opinion and with no intention to hurt the person who made the comment, more of a stereotype than reality. People are busy here as they are in Florida, in Texas or in Italy. When I am asked if people still take long naps after lunch in Italy (where I am from), I wonder how they think we made it into the Big 7. As for being reserved, yes this may be a characteristic of people in New England. But we are not speaking of reserved people here. I believe we are considering the fact that people tend to mind their own business more so than elsewhere. This may be reservation or selfishness or, most likely, both. The two women who, outside our preschool, looked ticked off because I dared trying to get involved in their conversation (about children and school, mind you, not personal issues), were not reserved: they were rude. And so were a few too many others I have met during my first year in Glastonbury.

I believe, though, that nice people live here too. I have actually met a few of them and I am working hard to try to get closer to them without scaring them away. I hope I succeed: after all, we do not need a crowd of friends, just a few decent people who are like-minded, and open-minded as well. This takes longer in CT than it takes somewhere else. I am afraid this is, at this, undeniable given the amount of newcomers comments I have read on this board over the past year.

I find I talk to myself a lot anymore and usually answer myself as well. As a woman if I don't talk I will explode!

[hvexpatinct]

I relocated from Fairfax, VA 4 years ago.

Traffic here is actually worse for the most part. All other factors equal, I would happily commute on 66 and the Beltway over 84 eastbound to Hartford any day.

Taxes are higher, the infrastructure here is terrible. Cost of food, etc is significantly higher. Waterbury gives Southeast DC a run for its money as far as safety, quality of life etc.

But there are some great towns, particularly in the northwest part of the state, with a quality of life you won't find in other suburban areas.

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by vvolin

The two women who, outside our preschool, looked ticked off because I dared trying to get involved in their conversation (about children and school, mind you, not personal issues), were not reserved: they were rude. And so were a few too many others I have met during my first year in Glastonbury.

Good friends of mine who lived in Glastonbury for over 20 years recently moved away due to the rudeness of people there. Not every town in CT is like that...

[Cruikshl]

Originally Posted by kidyankee764

Good friends of mine who lived in Glastonbury for over 20 years recently moved away due to the rudeness of people there. Not every town in CT is like that...

When we aren't stressing about it, the unfriendliness, we actually laugh a lot about it. It is our own little "Funny Farm" here in CT. If you haven't watched the movie it's worth the time and a few laughs!

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by Cruikshl

When we aren't stressing about it, the unfriendliness, we actually laugh a lot about it. It is our own little "Funny Farm" here in CT. If you haven't watched the movie it's worth the time and a few laughs!

That's all you can do.

It definitely sounds like you moved to the wrong town. I know there's a town or neighborhood in CT that you'd feel comfortable in - instead of relocating again, have you thought about researching other towns in the region? CT differs so much between towns.

Personally I enjoy going out knowing that while I'm on line at Starbucks/Dunkin Donuts (cranky before my morning coffee) people won't come up and start a long conversation. I guess that's the difference between here and there.

[jmarkey]

Different strokes.....

Having a stranger strike up a conversation can lift me out of a cranky mood and totally change my day. And it does happen in CT.

Cruikshl, I think one of the hardest adjustments is moving from the deep south (as opposed to TN or NC) to New England. Not only for COL and weather, but because there are so many cultural differences. It sounds like you're doing the best with the situation that you can. I wish I could live up there and have a chatty Southern neighbor. To me, that's the best of both worlds. I love a good gab-fest!

I'm a native CT'er who lived in GA for seven years, came home, and am now back in GA. (Don't ask......long story.) I've seen the pros and cons for both areas and I enjoy southerners and New Englanders equally.

If I had to generalize, I'd say southerners are much more sociable. There is a degree of reserve in people up north, but it's so worth the effort to get to know them. This isn't immediately evident to someone who is used to being welcomed to a neighborhood and greeted upon daily meetings. It's probably pretty hurtful, but I suspect if some of these people knew the effect it was having on someone from another region of the country, they'd go out of their way to act differently.

When moving between the two areas I just shift gears. When in Rome......

[Cruikshl]

Originally Posted by jmarkey

Different strokes.....

Having a stranger strike up a conversation can lift me out of a cranky mood and totally change my day. And it does happen in CT.

Cruikshl, I think one of the hardest adjustments is moving from the deep south (as opposed to TN or NC) to New England. Not only for COL and weather, but because there are so many cultural differences. It sounds like you're doing the best with the situation that you can. I wish I could live up there and have a chatty Southern neighbor. To me, that's the best of both worlds. I love a good gab-fest!

I'm a native CT'er who lived in GA for seven years, came home, and am now back in GA. (Don't ask......long story.) I've seen the pros and cons for both areas and I enjoy southerners and New Englanders equally.

If I had to generalize, I'd say southerners are much more sociable. There is a degree of reserve in people up north, but it's so worth the effort to get to know them. This isn't immediately evident to someone who is used to being welcomed to a neighborhood and greeted upon daily meetings. It's probably pretty hurtful, but I suspect if some of these people knew the effect it was having on someone from another region of the country, they'd go out of their way to act differently.

When moving between the two areas I just shift gears. When in Rome......

I am not from Georgia originanlly and have only spent 8 years there total. Spent 12 in North Carolina, 3 in South Carolina and grew up in Iowa and didn't move till 28 to the south. If you grew up here in CT of course you are use to the indifference. We get transferred a lot, every three years, so it's important that we can have friends right away. I'm glad you enjoy the south so do I.

[BigHouse9]

I played golf with a friend of mine a few years back who lived all over the country and we both agreed the biggest fallacy is that people in CT are either rude or cold. We both have so many close friends in CT who are warm wonderful caring people. Folks where I work now in NC are just plain rude and unfriendly.

I also lived in Glastonbury for 13 years. We had some problems with a neighbor and their dog but other than that, the people were great. We got out a lot and talked to all of our neighbors. We met a few rude people in Stop & Shop and about town but they were so easy to ignore.

I was also at a party last weekend with people from all over New England and NJ and it was just the greatest group of friendly people. New England may be quirky, but it really is great.

[wanderintonc]

I have lived here most all of my life, but I have consistently had people from other states-ranging from Ohio, NC, SC, Tn, Oregon-tell me that CT has some rather cold people. Since none of the abovementioned people know each other, they are telling the same story, independently. There must be something to it. I've heard it told many times.

I don't always see that in the larger cities where I work and live, but even for a CT resident like myself, some of the small towns seem quite standoffish-they're like another world to me. I do not know if that is typical of small towns everywhere, or just here, or just of small wealthy towns-which most small towns here are.