[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by Fairfielder

This is my first post although I've been reading these for a year or so as I , too, have thought of moving to where "the grass is greener". The common thread I've noticed on this site while reading posts from many different regions of the U.S. is that we all have the same issues to some degree. Sometimes you find a group of people who you "click" with and sometimes you don't.

To quote my favorite Alabama native: "Life is like a box of chaw-co-lates. You neva' know whatcha gonna git."

It seems sometimes we just have to buy another box of candy to get something that suites our taste or try to acquire a new taste. Either way, being disappointed is not an uncommon feeling and this may be a good place to vent but, I hope that all of us find that greener grass we are looking for.

After 20 years of looking, I've found that I like living in CT and I appreciate it more when I get away to visit other states. They are beautiful as well but, absence does make my heart grow fonder for the vistas of this wonderful little state.

Great post! Welcome to the forum.

[Fairfielder]

Thanks, kidyankee764! Obviously I'm a newbie since I don't know how or why the message kept sending while I was writing it. Sorry to all.

[steph3kids]

We moved to CT from PA, before that we were in NY. I also lived in CA,Texas and MD. Did travel a lot in between.
i think that the general rule is if you have a good spirit and attitude you'll attract the same, if you are nasty or in a bad mood, you'll tend to meet people that are not so nice.
I can not say I liked a State or area more than another. I love the States.
I do love it here in CT. We've been here for 3 years.
My husband wants to move to Florida but I do not want to. I have too many friends here I would not want to leave and besides I do not like the idea of having only one season all year long. I like my kids to play in the snow(even if we've had very little the last couple years) and I do not care for hurricanes!!

Steph

[Dslater]

Therefore, as a person interested in relocating to CT I see many mixed reactions here. I have moved and lived in many states I have lived in Iowa, Illinois, Michigan, California, Florida and Wisconsin. I have found myself the best way to make friends is to be friendly, go out there, and talk to people. I have been told by a number of friends and relatives I am a load and talkative person so Natives of CT beware if I move near you because you will find it hard to ignore my friendly outgoing attitude. I did have a question it seems that most people who do not like CT live on the west side of the state IE West of Hartford. I was just curious what does the east side of the state like I mean we are rarely hearing from people in Tolland County so what’s that side of the state like?
]By the way I went to 14 different elementary and 4 different High schools so I am looking for someplace to stay and not move out in 3 years I don’t want to do that to my kids

[skytrekker]

Tolland county is far more rural and rustic then West Hartford- in the last several years there has been some small subdivisions of mid to upscale homes; as well as mid and upscale 55 and over homes- the area however remains mostly woods and some small farms.

As far as attitude is concerned West Hartford is a nice inner older suburban town which is sophisticated, but not overly haughty- as compared to Avon- or Farmington.

Tolland is pretty down to earth- with the inhabitants more pratical then trying to set trends.

[rogercobb]

Originally Posted by Cruikshl

I find I talk to myself a lot anymore and usually answer myself as well. As a woman if I don't talk I will explode!

If you are still interested in New England do yourself a favor and check out cities/towns outside of Connecticut. Why limit yourself to one state? In my experiences I have always found southern New England (RI and esp. CT) to be a lot less friendly than NH and Maine ( I haven't spent enough time in VT). This is coming from someone who currently lives in FL, lived in TN, and of course spent years in NH People in NH seem more willing to strike up a conversation with a stranger than they will in Connecticut and remind me of people I met from Tennessee without the accent. Spend a weekend in Portsmouth, NH or Portland, ME and I think you might feel at home.

[KathyR]

I don't live in CT - yet - but am hoping to eventually, so this thread interested me. Grew up in NJ but have been living in VA for 17 years, the last 12 years of it in northern VA. My husband's company is hdq in Hartford so he travels up there quite a bit. Even though he is a VA native we both want out and are hoping the right opportunity comes along in CT. As for earlier posts regarding neighbors - here in VA we've lived in our 1/4 acre lot subdivision home for 9 years....we did not SEE our neighbors behind us outside of their home for the first 3 years we lived here (no, they are not old or ill). We have neighbors who have lived on our small street since we've been here who will walk by us in a store or school and not acknowledge us. Many of these women I see all the time on my street for years have never bothered to ask me a thing about myself - whether I do the same or not. I've made just a couple of close friends here in all this time and it's not that I am cold or introverted. I would have thought that living in an area where people are from all over (and a large majority are military or govt employees), that it would be different. When I was single here and living closer to DC, it was, but the suburban mentality can be fairly cold. We are hoping to find a better fit in CT!

[BigHouse9]

Back in CT for the past month and it has been great. Enjoying the nice cool weather (which NC is getting too) and the job is going great. One of the nice things is that the people here (at work) are so friendly. It really has been a nice change.

The only thing that stinks is that the housing bust is hitting me hard and we have had very few people looking at the house in NC. That doesn't sit well with me but it is out of my control. Hopefully someting will happen soon!

[JayCT]

Bighouse9 - Welcome back! Jay

[Coffeecake]

I grew up in CT and for the last 8 years have lived in the South. Yes, although we all live in one "big happy country" there are cultural differences between regions. For starters, much of CT's mentality stems from the early Puritans who initially settled in the area. Purtians were very proper, did not interfer out of politeness. This is the reason that locals from CT generally decline from talking about religion and politics with friends and family. Locals may come off as cool and indifferent, but it is more about privacy and maintaining boundaries. It's not so much as them drawing a line in the dirt saying "YOU" shall not cross into "MY" territory, but it's more to the point out of respect for you that they do not want you to feel uncomfortable. Believe me once you meet a local face to face, very often one of the first things they'll suggest is "Let's go for a cup of coffee sometime". Because the pace of life in CT is more hurried then it is in the South. Your CT neighbors respect the fact that YOU probably work all week away from home - commuting, and that you want to spend valuable time with your familiy or tinkering around in your yard. Neighbors typically assume that you do not want to visit. The problem with that mentality (and locals don't realize it until they move out of the area) is it works against both people ever becoming acquainted. This is often the case in many neighborhoods. A good tactic is when you do see your neighbor out in their yard, walk over, preface the conservation by saying, "I don't want to hold you up, but I wanted to introduce myself as your neighbor." Keep the chat to a minimum and close by saying, "Perhaps we can get together for a cup of coffee some time." Then say goodbye. Direct and simple.

A telling example of this is what happened to me when my husband and I moved. My husband's family is from the South. His 3 brothers, wives, children and mother, all wanted to stay with us only two weeks after we had just moved in. The idea was not for a social visit (entertainment) and just merely being houseguests, but to help us unpack, paint, fix up, hang curtains, cook, etc. - essentially assisting us in setting up the household. They were willing to sleep on couches and camp out on the floor. It was a "work party". My family, on the other hand, from the North, thought my in-laws were being exceptionally rude and hounded me endlessly, complaining it was so disrespectful for my in-laws to be staying with me only two weeks after we had just moved in. They felt that we should have a couple of months alone setting up household before we had houseguests and they were planning on visiting us at a minimum of 6 months AFTER we had moved in. I was confused because obviously I understood my family's point of view and my husband could relate to his family's. After consulting a councelor, he said neither point of view is wrong, it's just coming from different perspectives. One was helping to set up the household and the other was being considerate that a household needed to be set up before guests.

I think it's the same thing in this case. If you find that CT locals are rude, they aren't. They are just more reserved. It's also more likely that what you are feeling is not wrong or right, it's just coming from a different perspective.