[JViello]

Originally Posted by J&A'sMOM

Having lived in Michigan for 41 years before moving to CT - I must remind myself to be myself and teach my children to have manners. The behavior to me is unacceptable - I want my children to say HI and greet people. Sometimes I get down and start to behave like the people here in CT. Then I remember what my friend from San Fransico told me - just because we live in CT doesn't mean we have to act like it!! We need to be ourselves. That keeps me going and reminds me to say HI to people and who cares if they ignore me or look at me like I'm a ghost!! I am friendly, I was raised that not being friendly is rude, therefore my children will be raised not to be rude!! That's what keeps me sane. If we stay in CT I've decided to move to a more populated area where my children can play and make friends. The beach area in our town is almost all transplants and I have found the people to be extremely (in CT standards) friendly. BTW just visited Boston for a 4 day weekend w/o the children and everyone there was sooo friendly I felt like I was in the Midwest. It was totally awesome.
Cheers to all!!

Hi there.

My Ex-wife is from the MidWest and I've spent a lot time there. Here is my take.

Some of the most biggotted, racist, cold hearted people I have met were in the Mid-West. More specifically Mercer County IL about 30 miles South of Moline (Quad Cities). Just cold, you don't talk like us and don't look like us so we'll tollerate you but will be glad once your back in the NE type attitude.

Some of the nicest people I've ever met were in the Mid-West. More specifically Mercer County IL about 30 miles South of Moline (Quad Cities).

The people who were rude towards me did so because I was "different". Those who were nice were nice because that was their nature.

Some of the rudest people I've ever met in were also in the Southeast. Some of the nicest people I've ever met were also in the Southeast.

My point? It's not just here. The entire country is in a downward spiral in regards to mannerisms and being cordial. Perhaps CT is just ahead of the curve as is usually the case in cultural things - good or bad.

I think your observations may fit your current state of mind but might not reflect reality as a whole here. Perhaps it's a culture shock thing. Perhaps it's your perception towards them that puts up the wall. People in CT are very very aware of others and their motives. We like real people who are not fake nice. I don't want someone to wave to me if they feel like flipping me off.

The best thing you can teach your kids is to treat others as you wish to be treated and that it's not how people act towards you, but how you react to it and treat them in kind. That's what you should be worried about, not that someone flipped you off.

MaggieMay - don't worry. That's how we are as a whole. Yes you'll get the occasional road rage jerk but as a whole we are reserved, but kind people.

[erins]

I just relocated from Ann Arbor (Michigan) to Connecticut. One of my first impressions about Connecticut was how friendly the people are. The friendliness was so foreign to me, that initially it made me feel slightly uncomfortable. In Ann Arbor, rude is the norm. Here, rude is an exception. I guess it's all a matter of perception.

[jeremeyk482]

erins, I too think people in CT are friendly.....if you catch them on a good day.

I think it depends on which region of the state you're in, so I'll break it down to let you know what I think. Of course, as with anything, there are exceptions.

SW Connecticut (Fairfield, New Haven, southern Litchfield; more than 50% the states pop): People here have more of a NY mentality. They are more culturally tied to NYC and Westchester County than New England. They call NYC "the city," often visit NY and watch NY television. People here, while kind, are reserved and quiet unless you tick them off. If you do, they'll become outspoken and do whatever it takes to defend themselves or their opinion. I think this is largely because of the dense population in this area and their desire to hide away.

Central CT (Torrington, Hartford to Windham through Berlin): I've found people here to be genuinely friendly, even more than parts of the Midwest I've been in. These are the people that will let you merge, say Hi while walking down the street, and aren't as 'paranoid' as their neighbors in SW CT. Life up here is a little slower and relaxed and more "earthy." I've found that more people in this area like to ski, hike, snowmobile, etc than people in other parts of CT. I'm not sure why, maybe due to the proximity to western MA, VT and NH.

Eastern CT ('quiet corner' down to New London): I have to say, I've found people in the quiet corner to be quite standoffish and very blatant. They don't hide their feelings and they'll tell you how it is (think "Family Guy"). Not sure why, maybe it's the identity crisis they have as they're between Boston and NYC. In Norwich/New London, my experiences are that the population here is similar to the Hartford area, substituting the outdoorsy stuff for boating or canoing.

In all, the attitude around CT is vastly different. I think in many cases, it varies by town, but by and large, if you go to Southbury or Bethany, people here are likely to be a lot different than in Bolton or Cromwell.

Where else can you find such a difference of culture in so little distance?

[ApartmentNomad]

Originally Posted by JViello

A lot of it does depend on the area of the state. Are you closer to NYC or the quiet corner? That can change a lot. Small town vs mill town vs larger city. That too is a factor.

I am definetly a friendly person and do strike up conversations a lot BUT I have my moments...perhaps I am a Yankee at heart. Let me explain a bit more.

We here in NE sometimes consider personal space and privacy a thing to respect and don't just get in your face and space with conversation. I've been in the South many many times where I am just "zoning" out from a hard day or whatever and don't feel like chatting and some person "being nice" wont' leave me alone to the point I have to start answering with one and two word answers and all of a sudden - I'm a rude Yankee. I'm not, it's just sometimes I dont' want to be bothered. It's that simple.

You see this attitude a lot on the commuter trains. Sometimes people in a very busy hectic place have their own thing going on and don't really want to chat about the clouds. It's nothing personal.

I have a neighbor who is a very nice guy - not from this area. I can't get away from saying hello without a 15 minute conversation. I can recall a summer evening last year when I got home after working a 12 hour stressful day in one of the hottest days of the year. I pulled into my driveway and he came over to tell me something small that happened during the day - great thanks for the info. BUT he then ignored my filthy shirt and pants, filthy sweaty grimy face and the fact that I stunk - bad and the fact that I told him I had a migrain the size of Montana and just needed to get into the AC and take a shower. Nope, he kept jabber jawing for 10 minutes while I stood there ready to pass out until I just "rudely" said "Bob, I have to go before I pass out - no offense" as he gave me a strange look. So who was rude there? Me?

Another example would be a "Subway" or whatever. Sometimes I just want or need my lunch sandwich to be delivered quick and accurate so I can get on my way and not sit and talk about the latest "thing" for 10 minutes making other people late and/or wait.

Germany is the same way. Once you get to know the people, they are wonderful but they actually consider it being kind to not invade your space which makes them seem cold.

As for the door thing, yea it happens and it aggravates me too - but there are many many many larger things to worry about in life than that IMO. Some people here (Especially in the more wealthy areas) can tend to have a bit of an elitist attitude which translates to things like not saying thank you for holding a door.

Signals? That's a bit over the top IMO.

The attitude in the NE regarding driving is that it's sometimes better to just hit the gas the get the h#$% out of the way instead of stopping in the middle of the road to wave someone out of a parking lot. It keeps a busy area flowing better and frankly why I think a lot of the areas in the South have traffic. Hit the gas, not the brakes. It keeps things moving.

I used to blow a gasket sitting in Atlanta traffic and having a lady stop DEAD in the BLVD in front of me to let someone out of a parking lot while 1400 cars pile up behing me slamming on their brakes.

So in short, sometimes we feel we are being more respectful by giving you you space than just rudely getting in your space uninvited. Hope that explains things a little bit.

Wow, this does a pretty good job of summing up a lot of my feelings. I think some people find me impolite for not being friendlier, but often I am trying to be considerate by not interrupting or not intruding. Maybe I should move to CT, or even Germany, or somewhere like that.

[Skatergirl]

Originally from Detroit, but have lived in California (northern and southern), Arizona, Florida, Rhode Island, New York, and now Ct. for 3 years. I wish I could leave. I'm fed up with the coldness of the folk here. My mailman even brought it up to me. I was his last address to see him before he retired. He said he was happy to be leaving this place. Said I was one of the only people that would talk to him in my area. Snobby is a factor with some folks that are wealthy-- Also--don't want to be slammed for saying this, but it's a big factor here--many Jewish people do not interact with non-Jews. I'm outright ignored by some neighbors for this reason. (others have confirmed this)

Honestly, I've never had to work so hard at trying to make friends. I'm outgoing and have put myself "out there." I'm more reserved now after so many episides of being shot down in mere attempts at conversation.

Sorry to say, but that is the way things are here.

[Back Home]

Being a native from Connecticut.....living in Florida now.....thinking of going to New Hampshire......I think there are all kinds of people no matter where you go. I have experienced them both places. I try not to judge the whole state on a few situations because its not worth your time or effort. People today seem to be under extremely stressful living situations which most likely will show in their behavior. If someone is rude, the best thing is to smile and be your pleasant self, it always makes you feel good. I think to generalize about Connecticut residents shouldn't be your focus, there are a lot of positive things and places in New England .....go enjoy your life and let those miserable people figure it out for themselves. Have a Happy Day...Smile

[stl2ct]

Originally Posted by JViello

A lot of it does depend on the area of the state. Are you closer to NYC or the quiet corner? That can change a lot. Small town vs mill town vs larger city. That too is a factor.

I am definetly a friendly person and do strike up conversations a lot BUT I have my moments...perhaps I am a Yankee at heart. Let me explain a bit more.

We here in NE sometimes consider personal space and privacy a thing to respect and don't just get in your face and space with conversation. I've been in the South many many times where I am just "zoning" out from a hard day or whatever and don't feel like chatting and some person "being nice" wont' leave me alone to the point I have to start answering with one and two word answers and all of a sudden - I'm a rude Yankee. I'm not, it's just sometimes I dont' want to be bothered. It's that simple.

You see this attitude a lot on the commuter trains. Sometimes people in a very busy hectic place have their own thing going on and don't really want to chat about the clouds. It's nothing personal.

I have a neighbor who is a very nice guy - not from this area. I can't get away from saying hello without a 15 minute conversation. I can recall a summer evening last year when I got home after working a 12 hour stressful day in one of the hottest days of the year. I pulled into my driveway and he came over to tell me something small that happened during the day - great thanks for the info. BUT he then ignored my filthy shirt and pants, filthy sweaty grimy face and the fact that I stunk - bad and the fact that I told him I had a migrain the size of Montana and just needed to get into the AC and take a shower. Nope, he kept jabber jawing for 10 minutes while I stood there ready to pass out until I just "rudely" said "Bob, I have to go before I pass out - no offense" as he gave me a strange look. So who was rude there? Me?

Another example would be a "Subway" or whatever. Sometimes I just want or need my lunch sandwich to be delivered quick and accurate so I can get on my way and not sit and talk about the latest "thing" for 10 minutes making other people late and/or wait.

Germany is the same way. Once you get to know the people, they are wonderful but they actually consider it being kind to not invade your space which makes them seem cold.

As for the door thing, yea it happens and it aggravates me too - but there are many many many larger things to worry about in life than that IMO. Some people here (Especially in the more wealthy areas) can tend to have a bit of an elitist attitude which translates to things like not saying thank you for holding a door.

Signals? That's a bit over the top IMO.

The attitude in the NE regarding driving is that it's sometimes better to just hit the gas the get the h#$% out of the way instead of stopping in the middle of the road to wave someone out of a parking lot. It keeps a busy area flowing better and frankly why I think a lot of the areas in the South have traffic. Hit the gas, not the brakes. It keeps things moving.

I used to blow a gasket sitting in Atlanta traffic and having a lady stop DEAD in the BLVD in front of me to let someone out of a parking lot while 1400 cars pile up behing me slamming on their brakes.

So in short, sometimes we feel we are being more respectful by giving you you space than just rudely getting in your space uninvited. Hope that explains things a little bit.

I've been in my new/old home in Stratford for 7 weeks now. I've met most neighbors near me...they came to intro themselves to me. I kept it to small talk after reading several posts on this site. We wave and talk very briefly when we are outside.

I make an extra effort to talk to the sales/service people I've encountered and not at them. And I always thank them for their help. Most looked shocked or surprised hearing these words come out of my mouth. So I've decided to let what could appear as rudeness just run right off my back, and instead use kindness as a way to turn things around in my favor.

As for the drive on I-95, well I'm fortunate to be able to drive at off peak hours, after 8pm works best for me. The only complaints at that time of night are the big truckers and that problem is everywhere.

So thanks to all who write and respond on this site. It has given me insite into the residents of CT. And I must say I am enjoying the adventure I was looking for when I planned this 1000 mile move from STL.

[frobertwilson]

westguy22
I work for a condo on singer island florida (palm beach)
this is my first time and maby my last on this sight but somehow I saw your post re rentals in the west palm beach area. I have two condos on the water w/ pool for rent under $1000.00 and one 3500 sq ft @ $3000.00.
I have no idea if you will get this or how you reply.
Singer Island Yacht Club
561-848-8525 E-Mail siyachtclub@bellsouth.net
Rob

[SALLI58]

I lived in CT for 46 years, have been in TX for 2. I lived in Woodbury for a year or so, and I loved it. I think no matter where you go you're going to encounter a lot of rude people. Everyone is so caught up in the "busy-ness" of their lives they have forgotten the act of common courtesy. Avoiding eye contact is bad enough, but when you make eye contact & are not acknowledged with so much a "hello", I think that's a very sad statement about the human race. I've also met a lot of friendly people everywhere. I have no problem making eye contact & saying hello. Did I mention...I hate TX?

[Lintu]

I lived in TX for almost 20 years and have been in the NE for 6 or 7, and I have to say that while people up here look at me funny for talking to them at random on the train or something like that, people here are more tolerant and kind than in TX. This is only my experience, of course.