[westguy22]

I visited CT in early January because we are thinking about a move to the Litchfield area. We looked at Woodbury and Roxbury- both classy towns but we can't seem to forget the rudeness of some people in CT. Not only some, but it seemed like most. It seems like they go out of the way to ignore you and NOT make eye contact, don't say thank you when you hold the door, fail to use signal lights on the roads and when you say something to them, they look at you as if you're from anotehr country. Dont get me wrong, i love CT but why do people here act this way? I've never been to a place where the population is so alike and distinct.

i'd love to hear other's opinions on this, esp people who moved here from outside of the northeast.

thanks

[skytrekker]

Sorry about your experiences- people can be reserved and self absorbed here, but some can be pleasant. Firstly- do not take it personally, once you realize they are not directing this attitude against you- you will feel less defensive.

I was 'transplanted' here as child- and have been here all my life. At times I can act rather aloof and detached also- its just part of the culture. There are many nice people here.

[KirbyJRT]

Did you find "more" reserved/rudeness from women or men? I also have to say, I don't find not using a turn signal rude or reserved? I've lived here from 1988-1993 and from 1998-current. I have to say that I find that people in CT have gotten considerably worse over the years. I don't have an answer for that. Of course we are generalizing, but overall the un-friendliness, in my view has been increasing. I'm not buying the reserved bit either. In January I went into a bar to watch the Colts-Ravens game. Ended up talking to this woman next to me. She was with a friend and her husband. I mentioned that I could not believe how unfriendly people around here have gotten. She said she noticed it also with her friends and she grew up in Vernon. We could not figure it out. Anyway. We had a good time, they offered for me to join them for dinner and she asked me if I would be interested in a blind date with her sister. I've come to the conclusion that I will continue to be friendly and outgoing, if it's reciprocated great, if not, I'll keep trying. It's one of those things. You can only control your actions. Most of my friends here have come from work and I also play on a 28+ baseball league.

[westguy22]

Originally Posted by KirbyJRT

Did you find "more" reserved/rudeness from women or men? I also have to say, I don't find not using a turn signal rude or reserved? I've lived here from 1988-1993 and from 1998-current. I have to say that I find that people in CT have gotten considerably worse over the years. I don't have an answer for that. Of course we are generalizing, but overall the un-friendliness, in my view has been increasing. I'm not buying the reserved bit either. In January I went into a bar to watch the Colts-Ravens game. Ended up talking to this woman next to me. She was with a friend and her husband. I mentioned that I could not believe how unfriendly people around here have gotten. She said she noticed it also with her friends and she grew up in Vernon. We could not figure it out. Anyway. We had a good time, they offered for me to join them for dinner and she asked me if I would be interested in a blind date with her sister. I've come to the conclusion that I will continue to be friendly and outgoing, if it's reciprocated great, if not, I'll keep trying. It's one of those things. You can only control your actions. Most of my friends here have come from work and I also play on a 28+ baseball league.

I experienced this from both men and women. A woman at a cafe gave me a nasty glance when I excused myself in front of her to reach for napkins. I said 'excuse me please, i just want to grab some napkins'. she didn't move. I excused myself a second time, and she didn't move again and threw me a nasty look for even asking. She was standing there waiting for her sandwich with plenty of room around her. I went out of my way to hold the door for a man walking into Dunkin Doughnuts. I had a diaper bag on my shoulder and my daughter in my other arm so he could see it was tough for me to extend this courtesy, and he grabbed the door i was holding, took off his sunglasses, didn't look at me and instead went right up to the counter and got in line before me!!!! This was in Watertown, CT. I know the general attitude here is reserved and aloof as skytreekker said, but do you think some people here use that as an excuse to be extra rude? I have lived in LA, San Fran, Seattle, Tampa and Atlanta in the past, all for a very short time. Even in the richest of towns, i don't see people act like this. What is it about CT? I'm nervous to move my family there.

[KirbyJRT]

I don't have an answer for you. I can empathize with you though. As I said, I find that it has definitely gotten worse over the years.

[westguy22]

Originally Posted by KirbyJRT

I don't have an answer for you. I can empathize with you though. As I said, I find that it has definitely gotten worse over the years.

thanks. I'm sure there are lots of pleasant people in CT. i'll just have to actively find them.

[westguy22]

Originally Posted by movingin 960

thanks. I'm sure there are lots of pleasant people in CT. i'll just have to actively find them.

There are many pleasant CT folks. You're right, you have to find them. People in CT are reserved, some can be rude though (like the two you came into contact with). They are usually the exception.

It depends on where you go. If you go out for lunch at an upscale cafe during the week, you're more likely to find snooty businesspeople and aloof soccer moms. Sunday brunch would be way different, as people would be with their families.

When you come here, just take it in stride. Enjoy what CT has to offer; the culture, beaches, mountains, winding highways (drive down the Merritt Pkwy sometime), take a trip to NYC via metro north (then you'll REALLY see what rude is).

As sky said, don't take it personally. It's not directed at you, it's just the way people around here go about things. They expect you to hold the door for them without wanting something in return (such as a thank-you) because it's a nice gesture. Frankly, I haven't said thank-you sometimes when people hold the door for me. Most don't want a thanks, they're just doing it because it's the right thing to do. That, in my opinion, makes them good people.

[njohnson]

Maybe I don't notice the things because I am so used to Connecticut but I always get thank yous when holding a door and I make sure to always give one, people wave to me when I let them go at stop signs, and I've had very few people be rude to me as long as I've been here, although I don't live in a rich town by any means. Sure some drivers don't use signals but that seems to be the case in every state I've been to. I think while people are move reserved, the pace of life is faster here, people want to get where they are going and get there fast so you see more impatience on the roadways. After just coming back from Boston though CT drivers don't seem as bad anymore.

[jlhct]

I've lived in CT all my life and I do agree with the "aloof"ness or rudeness. I don't know what causes it either. It seems that it's more of a suprise when someone uses common courtesy instead of more the norm in other places such as the south & west.

It's been a mystery to me for a long time too

[jsmnleona]

When I first moved here from NYC, I thought the people here are very ignorant about other cultures. It took me a long 6 years before I feel comfortable and think about settling down here long term. Within the 6 years, I also have thought about moving to NJ where I thought there is more diversity. After a long time visiting NJ and back to NYC, I am now convinced that Ct people are friendly most of the time. CT has drivers that let you go first before them. In NJ and NY, they tend to honk on you right before the red light turns green. However, there are also some really rude drivers in bigger towns like Milford, Bridgeport and Waterbury from my own experiences.