[Golden1]

By the way due to bad parenting I could use appreciation/praise so hit the positive meter below and put me over the 50 mark, please

[Urban Peasant]

Originally Posted by Tiger Beer

What do most people generally perceive of Connecticut?

Prior to viewing photos on city-data, I always perceived 100% suburban white-picket fence-like. Surprisingly, I am finding it to have a very urban-looking feel to most of the cities.

What do most people seem to perceive of as CT? (Even if you are from CT, what is the general stereotype/feelings on your state?)

I cannot speak for the entire state but I think parts of Connecticut and especially Hartford rightly fits the geographic location between Boston and NYC. Hartford to me looks like a quieter, smaller version of Boston but there is a definite New York influence to its culture and cityscape as well. I can't explain it well but I am sure others would agree. The Litchfield Hills seem to be an extension of the Berkshires in Massachusetts both physically and culturally but then again there is that influence from the Hudson River Valley.

Basically though, the entire region's history has a lot to do with both Massachusetts and NY. JP Morgan, Frederick Law Olmstead, Harriett Beecher Stowe, etc were all born in Connecticut but had strong ties to either Boston, NYC, or both.

[JViello]

Originally Posted by Urban Peasant

I cannot speak for the entire state but I think parts of Connecticut and especially Hartford rightly fits the geographic location between Boston and NYC. Hartford to me looks like a quieter, smaller version of Boston but there is a definite New York influence to its culture and cityscape as well. I can't explain it well but I am sure others would agree. The Litchfield Hills seem to be an extension of the Berkshires in Massachusetts both physically and culturally but then again there is that influence from the Hudson River Valley.

Basically though, the entire region's history has a lot to do with both Massachusetts and NY. JP Morgan, Frederick Law Olmstead, Harriett Beecher Stowe, etc were all born in Connecticut but had strong ties to either Boston, NYC, or both.

Keep in mind also that Hartford at one time was almost as big of and as cosmopolitan of a city as Boston and moreso in some ways. Back in the Twain days Hartford was a corporate powerhouse (Still is really) and a cultural "mecca" of sorts.

Hartford had a brief blip from around 1978-1989 where is was growing like crazy and if all the "plans" went through it would have given Boston a run for it's money skylinewise if not had a better one IMHO.

[MsFancyPants]

I didn't read the whole thread b/c it is pretty long. I lived in Stamford for two years. The people were the rudest I've ever encountered. Seriously. I would tell friends/family that and they'd think I was just homesick or whatever. Then they'd come to visit and every single one of them understood what I meant when they left. The people in NYC were much more friendly and helpful. In Stamford, I'd go to the grocery store and walking down the aisle make eye contact and say "Hello," and people would not even respond. RUDE! I thought it was beautiful in the fall, but other than that, I was glad to leave.

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by MsFancyPants

I didn't read the whole thread b/c it is pretty long. I lived in Stamford for two years. The people were the rudest I've ever encountered. Seriously. I would tell friends/family that and they'd think I was just homesick or whatever. Then they'd come to visit and every single one of them understood what I meant when they left. The people in NYC were much more friendly and helpful. In Stamford, I'd go to the grocery store and walking down the aisle make eye contact and say "Hello," and people would not even respond. RUDE! I thought it was beautiful in the fall, but other than that, I was glad to leave.

This has been discuss ad nauseam so might I suggest you read some other threads to help you in understanding. In short - It's not rude. People in CT (especially southern CT) are always busy, and on the go, and don't care to start a meaningless conversation or engage in a drive-by "fake" hello when they have to pick up things at the store, rush to get the kids from school, make dinner, take them to soccer practice, etc.

I personally think smiling and saying hello to a complete stranger in the shampoo isle is a little weird.

[MsFancyPants]

I think your interpretation is a stretch. And if it's been discussed ad nauseum, then it stands to reason that it's a problem that is perceived by a lot of people. The thread asked my impressions. I gave them. I suggest you not take it so personally.

If you think smiling and saying hello to strangers in a grocery store is a little weird, then I can see why you don't understand my perception. At all.

People in CT are no busier than anyone else. That's crappola. And an excuse. Are you trying to tell me that people in L.A. or Boston or Dallas don't have kids to pick up, make dinner or soccer practice? LOL! Come on, now. And smiling at someone in response to a smile doesn't take any time at all.

People in southern CT have a lot of money. That is the problem. They give an air of superiority and they're rude. And whether you want to admit it or not makes no difference to me. It only solidifies my opinion.

[goldenband]

I come from a part of New England where there isn't a lot of money, and it's the same way. Folks keep to themselves more up here, and people I know who've lived on both coasts, or down south and up north, have frequently remarked on the difference. It's only a "problem" to those who don't like it, just as certain mannerisms in the South or on the West Coast are problematic for people who arrive in those places, too. And it's definitely not unique to southern CT -- it's more or less true of just about all of New England.

[MsFancyPants]

I'm only giving MY impressions. But in answer to this, I traveled all over New England when I lived there, and I never encountered it anywhere but southern CT, Fairfield County. Even when I went to the DMV in Bridgeport, they were nice. I went to Mystic. Great customer service. Very nice. Went to Boston. Great time. Went to VT, NH, Providence (well actually all of RI). All very nice. And to be fair, it wasn't every single place we went in SoCT. It was just the overall impression I had based on being there for two years.

And again, I've encountered many many people who feel the same way. So rather than try to convince us that we're wrong, the time might be better spent on Manners 101. Jus' sayin'.

[goldenband]

The problem with saying something like "rather than try to convince us that we're wrong", though, is that it necessarily assumes that you're right, and that you have the right to tell us what Manners 101 is: in other words, you're doing the same thing you're accusing others of doing.

I've encountered many people who dislike the overt, hail-fellow-well-met friendliness in the South and other places: they see it as false, a kind of unearned intimacy that rings hollow and conceals the speaker's true purposes. And sometimes it isn't, but sometimes it is.

To put it differently: in many places in the North, being effusively friendly to strangers is seen as bad manners, at least without a context to give it meaning. From a practical point of view, I certainly think that one advantage to being reserved in public is that it makes it easier to tell who has boundary issues. If you grow up in the North, then when people go out of their way to randomly engage you, it often means that those people are mentally ill, or have an agenda, or are otherwise "off". But when everyone's "crossing the line" all the time, it fouls up our radar.

I'm glad you had friendly experiences in Boston, for example, but that city is also notoriously rude and standoffish, and I can say firsthand that it's not an unearned reputation, even within the context of New England. So your conclusions about southern CT are largely the luck of the draw, I think.

So try to understand that your way of doing things isn't the only right way of doing things, eh?

[MsFancyPants]

Never meant to imply that it was.

And let me say up front, I'm not arguing this, but if you're truly interested I'll dispute some of your remarks. If you're not, then I apologize for seeming like I'm not letting this go. I really am just responding to what I think is incorrect assumptions, like you did.

So....smiling in the grocery store and saying hello as you walk by cannot be construed in anyone's world (who isn't mentally ill as you've pointed out) as "effusively friendly." I can totally understand if I were to come up in the grocery aisle and touch your arm and say, "Well, hello there. My name is so and so and I have a daughter and a son and they go to college at such and such..." and carry on. I never did that. I merely smiled, said hello, never stopped never gave any expectation that I wanted a conversation (believe it or not, I was busy too) and never even got a head nod. That's rude. I don't care where you live. I've lived all over this country throughout my life - and never had that experience before or since on a consistent basis like I did in SoCT.

And the other thing is when you're in customer service, you simply cannot have that kind of an attitude and not expect people to react negatively to it. If I'm getting what I perceive is attitude and I'm the customer, then YOU ARE WRONG, plain and simple, because I won't shop there. The adage the customer is always right never rang more true. I can't tell you how many stores and shops I walked out of b/c I refuse as a customer to be treated rudely. Is that my loss? I don't think so.

If I had spent more time in Boston, I might've had a worse experience. I don't know. I spent two years of living every day in Fairfield County and I can tell you right now, it wasn't me. If it were, then everyone I knew who shared the same position must be wrong too. And by the post above, if it's been discussed ad nauseum, then that speaks volumes. It's a huge problem. I'm just one of many who have had the same experience. And like I said, you can justify it however you want. You're busy, it's a fast-paced environment, mentally ill, boundaries, whatever. All I'm saying is I've never seen a general populace be so rude as in SoCT. And I would go to NYC almost every weekend. It doesn't come more fast paced than NYC, or more busy, and it's still the northeast. Those people were by and large very friendly and very helpful, especially when trying to navigate the subway or finding your way around, looking for a specific place. They'd always help me. In CT, not so much. You were lucky if you could get someone to even acknowledge your "Excuse me. Can you help me?" That's rude. I don't care where you're from.

Now, I'm done. Think what you will. I moved out of there and I don't have to deal with anymore, so it doesn't really matter to me.

But before I left, I will admit to telling more than one person what I thought of their high and mighty, and rude, attitudes!! LOL! I felt so much better afterwards!! Never mean or nasty, but definitely told them how I felt.